AnimeLover1991
May 11th, 2010, 09:35 PM
Hey guys,
I know many of you may not know me around here because I don't post often, but anyways I've been depressed for 4 1/2 years now. It's because a few people whom I thought were my friends decided to "betray" me by saying they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Now to any normal person they'd be like "who needs you anyway" and go about their business, but I'm different because of my Autism, so I take things differently than "normal" people do. That's only where my depression starts it gets a lot worse. I have never gotten along with my father as he is very abusive when he is angry he has thrown knives, 2 Liter Pepsi bottles and even one of my dogs at me, and he is known to lie to people and it was only a matter of time that he started it with me. Last year he promised to send me money for Christmas and he never did, so I sent him a message on Facebook asking him what the hold-up was, and he said that he was never planning on sending it anyway, so I then decided to stop communicating with him for good and for the first few months I was alright with it, but now I really regret it because I can never apologize to him because he told my mother & grandfather that he never wanted to speak to me again. I've never really had friends because most everyone thought that I was weird, and the friend betrayals that happened during my Freshmen year of High School didn't help any. I was scared of making friends because I was afraid that they'd betray me like the 2 did my Freshmen year. Many people say that the friends I do have only are friends with me because they feel sorry for me, and I don't think that's true at all. In these last 4 years I've really thought of suicide as I have felt that everyone would be happier if I was dead. I've had it rough, but I just try to take things day by day.
I know many of you may not know me around here because I don't post often, but anyways I've been depressed for 4 1/2 years now. It's because a few people whom I thought were my friends decided to "betray" me by saying they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Now to any normal person they'd be like "who needs you anyway" and go about their business, but I'm different because of my Autism, so I take things differently than "normal" people do. That's only where my depression starts it gets a lot worse. I have never gotten along with my father as he is very abusive when he is angry he has thrown knives, 2 Liter Pepsi bottles and even one of my dogs at me, and he is known to lie to people and it was only a matter of time that he started it with me. Last year he promised to send me money for Christmas and he never did, so I sent him a message on Facebook asking him what the hold-up was, and he said that he was never planning on sending it anyway, so I then decided to stop communicating with him for good and for the first few months I was alright with it, but now I really regret it because I can never apologize to him because he told my mother & grandfather that he never wanted to speak to me again. I've never really had friends because most everyone thought that I was weird, and the friend betrayals that happened during my Freshmen year of High School didn't help any. I was scared of making friends because I was afraid that they'd betray me like the 2 did my Freshmen year. Many people say that the friends I do have only are friends with me because they feel sorry for me, and I don't think that's true at all. In these last 4 years I've really thought of suicide as I have felt that everyone would be happier if I was dead. I've had it rough, but I just try to take things day by day.