Never_Forget
May 8th, 2010, 09:21 PM
Okay, so. 2 of my best friends, a girl and a guy, let's call the girl X and the guy Y. So X and Y. So like, I like Y, I like him a lot. But he likes X, who likes him back. So before we even get started here I'm jealous. So yeah, Y asked out X the other day and despite my selfish hopes, she said yes. I know I should be happy for them, they're both really happy at the minute, but there's this selfiish, jealous little part of me that keeps hoping they'll break up. I feel like crap because of that. I mean, Y isn't even gay, I'd never have a chance with him and yet inside I'm still being a selfish jerk, and hating myself for it. It's not just because I like him either. A month or so ago another of my best friends was dating a guy. I didn't particularly like him, but yet I still kept hoping they'd break up, because I was jealous of what they had. To be perfectly honest, I'm ashamed of myself. If someone wanted me to break up with someone because they were jealous, I'd think of them as a jerk. I'm a selfish, jealous, hypocritical jerk. I can't be happy for my friends because they have something I want. I keep interrupting their conversations, without even thinking about it. There's the part of me that is happy for them and wishes them the best, and then there's the disgusting half of me that I hate.
Rant over.
Rant over.