Dunce
May 5th, 2010, 01:55 PM
Hello, I don't really know where to start...
I have a serious nervousness that things are going to kill/hurt me. Except it's not people I'm afraid of, it's ghosts and things. I know I might just sound sensitive but for example: The other day I was reminded of the story of bloody mary, the one where something happens if you say her name in front of a mirror in the dark, I'm sure you've heard it anyway. Well, I heard this years ago but forgot about it, this time I'm seriously paranoid that she's out to get me or something, just as I'm typing this i can practially feel someone looking over my shoulder. I couldnt enter a room with a mirror for days. there's a mirror in my room and I went to sleep feeling like I was being watched, after a few hours I woke up and I was repeating this word in my head and I couldnt stop, no matter how hard i tried it kept repeating. I felt like my quilt was constricting around me, me and... well its hard to explain, one half of me knew I was in bed, with no one around. the other half of me thought I was working for a bunch of satanist people, and even though I kept thinking 'no, im in bed, im fine' weird thoughts kept jumping into my head and they would go away, creepy thoughts like 'get animal sacrifice'.
This happened to me once before but it was UFO's I was paranoid about, but that time I could actually see Aliens in my room, I was wide awake.
So basically I was delusional.
i suffer from panic attacks alot, and I know they are coming because i feel increasingly paranoid to the point where I will just sit there shaking until the feeling someone is following me goes away. I feel almost possesed.
I feel ill 60% of the time, though i dont take days off because if I took a day off everytime I was sick I would miss most of my school days. it's either nausea of a headache or both. Both get worse or come whenever I'm feeling very worried or scared, this is usually when I'm feeling tired or delusional. I have difficulty getting to sleep, alot of the time i find myslf repeating words or sentences like I did when I was delusional, and not even realising until I feel like Im going crazy.
When music or people get to loud my ears make crackling sounds.
I wake up at night feeling unimaginably angry or scared.
I stutter and sometimes make noises I dont mean to.
i'm fine in social situations, people make me feel happy and normal.
Sometimes I black out for no reason, i know people do this after standing up but i do it sitting down or lying down, sometimes I dont know where I am or what I'm doing.
My memory is going down fast, I used to have a great memory, now I need to re-check if I shut the door or turned off the tap because it'll drive me crazy if I dont.
I talk to myself and If im around people Im really paranoid im making weird sounds even though i never heard myself make a sound.
My muscles twitch all the time. I cant concentrate. I shake and myheart starts painfully pounding, scarily hard, for no reason, I become short of breath for no reason.
Things i know cant hurt me scare me, I have a fear of tiny things for example.
I feel like people treat me like a child. i get weak easily. My dad was playing music the other night and the continuous beat gave me a panic attack.
Sorry for so many random things but I've told my friends about some of them and they never go through anything like them. I've just listed everything that I discovered are actually quite abnormal, some of them I've had m whole life, some of them have only started happening in the last two years or so. I've taken a few online tests and they said I have alot of symptoms ofgeneral anxiety disorder, and paranoia. some symptoms of OCD and schizophrenia, but I would trust internet.
Thanks
I'm 16.
I have a serious nervousness that things are going to kill/hurt me. Except it's not people I'm afraid of, it's ghosts and things. I know I might just sound sensitive but for example: The other day I was reminded of the story of bloody mary, the one where something happens if you say her name in front of a mirror in the dark, I'm sure you've heard it anyway. Well, I heard this years ago but forgot about it, this time I'm seriously paranoid that she's out to get me or something, just as I'm typing this i can practially feel someone looking over my shoulder. I couldnt enter a room with a mirror for days. there's a mirror in my room and I went to sleep feeling like I was being watched, after a few hours I woke up and I was repeating this word in my head and I couldnt stop, no matter how hard i tried it kept repeating. I felt like my quilt was constricting around me, me and... well its hard to explain, one half of me knew I was in bed, with no one around. the other half of me thought I was working for a bunch of satanist people, and even though I kept thinking 'no, im in bed, im fine' weird thoughts kept jumping into my head and they would go away, creepy thoughts like 'get animal sacrifice'.
This happened to me once before but it was UFO's I was paranoid about, but that time I could actually see Aliens in my room, I was wide awake.
So basically I was delusional.
i suffer from panic attacks alot, and I know they are coming because i feel increasingly paranoid to the point where I will just sit there shaking until the feeling someone is following me goes away. I feel almost possesed.
I feel ill 60% of the time, though i dont take days off because if I took a day off everytime I was sick I would miss most of my school days. it's either nausea of a headache or both. Both get worse or come whenever I'm feeling very worried or scared, this is usually when I'm feeling tired or delusional. I have difficulty getting to sleep, alot of the time i find myslf repeating words or sentences like I did when I was delusional, and not even realising until I feel like Im going crazy.
When music or people get to loud my ears make crackling sounds.
I wake up at night feeling unimaginably angry or scared.
I stutter and sometimes make noises I dont mean to.
i'm fine in social situations, people make me feel happy and normal.
Sometimes I black out for no reason, i know people do this after standing up but i do it sitting down or lying down, sometimes I dont know where I am or what I'm doing.
My memory is going down fast, I used to have a great memory, now I need to re-check if I shut the door or turned off the tap because it'll drive me crazy if I dont.
I talk to myself and If im around people Im really paranoid im making weird sounds even though i never heard myself make a sound.
My muscles twitch all the time. I cant concentrate. I shake and myheart starts painfully pounding, scarily hard, for no reason, I become short of breath for no reason.
Things i know cant hurt me scare me, I have a fear of tiny things for example.
I feel like people treat me like a child. i get weak easily. My dad was playing music the other night and the continuous beat gave me a panic attack.
Sorry for so many random things but I've told my friends about some of them and they never go through anything like them. I've just listed everything that I discovered are actually quite abnormal, some of them I've had m whole life, some of them have only started happening in the last two years or so. I've taken a few online tests and they said I have alot of symptoms ofgeneral anxiety disorder, and paranoia. some symptoms of OCD and schizophrenia, but I would trust internet.
Thanks
I'm 16.