Sian90
May 4th, 2010, 08:22 PM
Hi, I'm new to the forum, Wondered if I could get some help and advice?
I have been self harming/injuring for the past few years. I got over it (or so I thought) around half a year ago, however I'm back to my old habits, I'm not sure what I can say on here so I will just say I have been binging and harming really badly. I don't cut anymore but I still do just about everything or anything to hurt or harm myself in any way or form. I live with my boyfriend and his grandparents, he helped me get out of it before, but I'm afraid he'll leave me if I tell him again. However, seens as we live together it's getting hard to hide the scars, burns, bruises, swelling? I'm wondering what would be the best thing to do?
I had to tell my mum about it as she thought my boyfriend was hurting me.
I'm petrified that his grandparents will throw me out if they find out I am hurting myself all the time. I am now starting to develop an eating disorder too, I'm afraid to eat. It's all triggered by how insecure I am, I hate myself, despise myself. I feel like I'm not good enough. I always feel guilty, feel like I'm not doing enough for my family/boyfriend. Like I am ugly, and a horrible person I also have all the bad memories of abuse and bullying and I am still greiving over my grandfather who passed on around christmas time :( and all the other bad things that have happened. Also, I am very sensitive, and take things badly.
Also, the doctors have put me on Citalopram for the time being they think I have some kind of mood disorder? So I'm also waiting on this. Should I tell my doctor of my self harm?
Sorry to anyone reading this. I know you have probably heard all this before. But I would love some advice or even someone to talk to thanks for your time x
I have been self harming/injuring for the past few years. I got over it (or so I thought) around half a year ago, however I'm back to my old habits, I'm not sure what I can say on here so I will just say I have been binging and harming really badly. I don't cut anymore but I still do just about everything or anything to hurt or harm myself in any way or form. I live with my boyfriend and his grandparents, he helped me get out of it before, but I'm afraid he'll leave me if I tell him again. However, seens as we live together it's getting hard to hide the scars, burns, bruises, swelling? I'm wondering what would be the best thing to do?
I had to tell my mum about it as she thought my boyfriend was hurting me.
I'm petrified that his grandparents will throw me out if they find out I am hurting myself all the time. I am now starting to develop an eating disorder too, I'm afraid to eat. It's all triggered by how insecure I am, I hate myself, despise myself. I feel like I'm not good enough. I always feel guilty, feel like I'm not doing enough for my family/boyfriend. Like I am ugly, and a horrible person I also have all the bad memories of abuse and bullying and I am still greiving over my grandfather who passed on around christmas time :( and all the other bad things that have happened. Also, I am very sensitive, and take things badly.
Also, the doctors have put me on Citalopram for the time being they think I have some kind of mood disorder? So I'm also waiting on this. Should I tell my doctor of my self harm?
Sorry to anyone reading this. I know you have probably heard all this before. But I would love some advice or even someone to talk to thanks for your time x