Drekkin
May 4th, 2010, 03:11 AM
So the problem I've been having (for the past three years) was that my close friend (man, I can't even call him "best friend" because of what's been going on) and I have been having some tensions.
It's a pretty long explanation, but I'll try to get to the point nice and smoothly.
I met that guy two, almost three years ago, and yeah. We started hanging out after school, and he had invited me to his place a couple of times. It was pretty great, 'cause then you felt you were actually starting to get to know someone better. We had some similar family problems, mostly involving our dads, so we were able to relate a lot. There were also videogames. Yeah, it was pretty fucking awesome.
BUT there are some problems he has that kind of started to screw things over since I first started noticing them.
The first problem he has is...that when he's quiet, he makes himself completely, man, I don't know how to explain this, but he sort of isolates himself...almost completely, from everybody. I understand sometimes people just don't want to talk, but seriously, this was completely noticeable. At first, then, it was pretty awkward how we'd meet up and he'd say nothing at all. I was shy then, and I still kind of am (I'm starting to get over shyness completely though) so I asked why he wasn't saying anything. The only thing he did was make a face (like almost in disgust, annoyance, yeah, you get what I mean) and say that it was "Nothing." That made the situation more awkward, so I didn't say anything else. That was a pretty fucked up feeling, then. Since I thought that friends would usually talk about whatever the hell they wanted no matter what it was, and it felt awkward how nothing happened. Now, however, I got used to that happening so many times that I managed to not give a fuck about the awkwardness anymore. I guess I should have done something to prevent that, but I had no idea what to do. Anyway, whenever we ride the bus together, it's usually almost always quiet. But I can't stay mad at him, 'cause there are sometimes when we do talk and the talks usually end up with us laughing. That messed up shit, 'cause it see-saws back and forth.
But that's not the only problem. There are sometimes when I'm walking through the hallways at school and we end up crossing eachother. Then you'd think we'd go like "Hey, what's up, man?!" or "What up?" or "Hey!" or some other shit in close resemblance to that...but that's not the case here. We'd meet up, but the thing he'd do (this pisses me off too, but like the other thing, I got used to it), and it's kind of messed up in a way, but he would ignore me (or atleast, that's how it looks like), or just not say anything. Not even eye contact. The first times that happened, I felt fucking stupid 'cause I said, "Hey, what's up man/dude?" and he'd say nothing. It's like he treats me as if he'd never met me before. I don't know why the hell he does it, but that's what he does. He even does that when we all dismiss each other after school. Like the other things, though, I got used to it. The problem with me is that I'm starting to not give flying fuck about any of that, and I know it's a problem. That's why I'm trying to resolve it.
There have been times when he has ignored me completely...and even though it's fucked up, I stopped paying attention to it.
The other thing (this one isn't so serious) is that he has another close friend of his (she's a girl) that kind of treats me the same way. Almost. When I first met her, and I'd say "Hi" or "Hey" then, she'd respond back "Hey" in a nice, friendly way. Now whenever I do greet her (and I still do, 'cause I know people don't dislike other people just for the fuck of it) she'd say "Hi" bluntly in this monotonic voice. I haven't had the chance to get to meet her fully, but the problem with doing that is...man, it's kind of hard...she's frightening, almost when she speaks bluntly, because her voice turns so low and firm. She sounds like a really nice person when she talks to other people, and I'm guessing she is a nice person. Man, this is hard. They both hang out with each other a lot, 'cause yeah, they're friends, and I see no problem in that. The way they act toward me, however, (communication wise) is pretty similar.
I know that there are a lot of other things I should mention about my friend, but overall, he doesn't act (and I mean "act", not "is") like a person I'd see as a friend. He's still my friend, though, and we still hang out after school sometimes. He still invites me over sometimes too. It's like this big fucking gap that stands in between all of this. He acts cool to everyone else, so I don't know if it's something personal or maybe people found a way around that problem he has. We both have a lot of close friends in common, so it kind of makes the problem deep.
So what should I do? We've known each other for a long time, and highschool's almost over, and soon it might be too late to fix things. The reason I mentioned it now was that it happened today again. He ignored me all day, and I want to fix this. I know he has other friends, and I do too, but how could he not notice what he's been doing? It used to hurt, but like I've mentioned, it's happened so much that I really stopped giving a damn.
What can I do to resolve this? I just want to make this better. Man, I want us to keep being friends without that fucked up gap in the middle.
It's a pretty long explanation, but I'll try to get to the point nice and smoothly.
I met that guy two, almost three years ago, and yeah. We started hanging out after school, and he had invited me to his place a couple of times. It was pretty great, 'cause then you felt you were actually starting to get to know someone better. We had some similar family problems, mostly involving our dads, so we were able to relate a lot. There were also videogames. Yeah, it was pretty fucking awesome.
BUT there are some problems he has that kind of started to screw things over since I first started noticing them.
The first problem he has is...that when he's quiet, he makes himself completely, man, I don't know how to explain this, but he sort of isolates himself...almost completely, from everybody. I understand sometimes people just don't want to talk, but seriously, this was completely noticeable. At first, then, it was pretty awkward how we'd meet up and he'd say nothing at all. I was shy then, and I still kind of am (I'm starting to get over shyness completely though) so I asked why he wasn't saying anything. The only thing he did was make a face (like almost in disgust, annoyance, yeah, you get what I mean) and say that it was "Nothing." That made the situation more awkward, so I didn't say anything else. That was a pretty fucked up feeling, then. Since I thought that friends would usually talk about whatever the hell they wanted no matter what it was, and it felt awkward how nothing happened. Now, however, I got used to that happening so many times that I managed to not give a fuck about the awkwardness anymore. I guess I should have done something to prevent that, but I had no idea what to do. Anyway, whenever we ride the bus together, it's usually almost always quiet. But I can't stay mad at him, 'cause there are sometimes when we do talk and the talks usually end up with us laughing. That messed up shit, 'cause it see-saws back and forth.
But that's not the only problem. There are sometimes when I'm walking through the hallways at school and we end up crossing eachother. Then you'd think we'd go like "Hey, what's up, man?!" or "What up?" or "Hey!" or some other shit in close resemblance to that...but that's not the case here. We'd meet up, but the thing he'd do (this pisses me off too, but like the other thing, I got used to it), and it's kind of messed up in a way, but he would ignore me (or atleast, that's how it looks like), or just not say anything. Not even eye contact. The first times that happened, I felt fucking stupid 'cause I said, "Hey, what's up man/dude?" and he'd say nothing. It's like he treats me as if he'd never met me before. I don't know why the hell he does it, but that's what he does. He even does that when we all dismiss each other after school. Like the other things, though, I got used to it. The problem with me is that I'm starting to not give flying fuck about any of that, and I know it's a problem. That's why I'm trying to resolve it.
There have been times when he has ignored me completely...and even though it's fucked up, I stopped paying attention to it.
The other thing (this one isn't so serious) is that he has another close friend of his (she's a girl) that kind of treats me the same way. Almost. When I first met her, and I'd say "Hi" or "Hey" then, she'd respond back "Hey" in a nice, friendly way. Now whenever I do greet her (and I still do, 'cause I know people don't dislike other people just for the fuck of it) she'd say "Hi" bluntly in this monotonic voice. I haven't had the chance to get to meet her fully, but the problem with doing that is...man, it's kind of hard...she's frightening, almost when she speaks bluntly, because her voice turns so low and firm. She sounds like a really nice person when she talks to other people, and I'm guessing she is a nice person. Man, this is hard. They both hang out with each other a lot, 'cause yeah, they're friends, and I see no problem in that. The way they act toward me, however, (communication wise) is pretty similar.
I know that there are a lot of other things I should mention about my friend, but overall, he doesn't act (and I mean "act", not "is") like a person I'd see as a friend. He's still my friend, though, and we still hang out after school sometimes. He still invites me over sometimes too. It's like this big fucking gap that stands in between all of this. He acts cool to everyone else, so I don't know if it's something personal or maybe people found a way around that problem he has. We both have a lot of close friends in common, so it kind of makes the problem deep.
So what should I do? We've known each other for a long time, and highschool's almost over, and soon it might be too late to fix things. The reason I mentioned it now was that it happened today again. He ignored me all day, and I want to fix this. I know he has other friends, and I do too, but how could he not notice what he's been doing? It used to hurt, but like I've mentioned, it's happened so much that I really stopped giving a damn.
What can I do to resolve this? I just want to make this better. Man, I want us to keep being friends without that fucked up gap in the middle.