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Drekkin
May 4th, 2010, 03:11 AM
So the problem I've been having (for the past three years) was that my close friend (man, I can't even call him "best friend" because of what's been going on) and I have been having some tensions.

It's a pretty long explanation, but I'll try to get to the point nice and smoothly.

I met that guy two, almost three years ago, and yeah. We started hanging out after school, and he had invited me to his place a couple of times. It was pretty great, 'cause then you felt you were actually starting to get to know someone better. We had some similar family problems, mostly involving our dads, so we were able to relate a lot. There were also videogames. Yeah, it was pretty fucking awesome.

BUT there are some problems he has that kind of started to screw things over since I first started noticing them.

The first problem he has is...that when he's quiet, he makes himself completely, man, I don't know how to explain this, but he sort of isolates himself...almost completely, from everybody. I understand sometimes people just don't want to talk, but seriously, this was completely noticeable. At first, then, it was pretty awkward how we'd meet up and he'd say nothing at all. I was shy then, and I still kind of am (I'm starting to get over shyness completely though) so I asked why he wasn't saying anything. The only thing he did was make a face (like almost in disgust, annoyance, yeah, you get what I mean) and say that it was "Nothing." That made the situation more awkward, so I didn't say anything else. That was a pretty fucked up feeling, then. Since I thought that friends would usually talk about whatever the hell they wanted no matter what it was, and it felt awkward how nothing happened. Now, however, I got used to that happening so many times that I managed to not give a fuck about the awkwardness anymore. I guess I should have done something to prevent that, but I had no idea what to do. Anyway, whenever we ride the bus together, it's usually almost always quiet. But I can't stay mad at him, 'cause there are sometimes when we do talk and the talks usually end up with us laughing. That messed up shit, 'cause it see-saws back and forth.

But that's not the only problem. There are sometimes when I'm walking through the hallways at school and we end up crossing eachother. Then you'd think we'd go like "Hey, what's up, man?!" or "What up?" or "Hey!" or some other shit in close resemblance to that...but that's not the case here. We'd meet up, but the thing he'd do (this pisses me off too, but like the other thing, I got used to it), and it's kind of messed up in a way, but he would ignore me (or atleast, that's how it looks like), or just not say anything. Not even eye contact. The first times that happened, I felt fucking stupid 'cause I said, "Hey, what's up man/dude?" and he'd say nothing. It's like he treats me as if he'd never met me before. I don't know why the hell he does it, but that's what he does. He even does that when we all dismiss each other after school. Like the other things, though, I got used to it. The problem with me is that I'm starting to not give flying fuck about any of that, and I know it's a problem. That's why I'm trying to resolve it.

There have been times when he has ignored me completely...and even though it's fucked up, I stopped paying attention to it.

The other thing (this one isn't so serious) is that he has another close friend of his (she's a girl) that kind of treats me the same way. Almost. When I first met her, and I'd say "Hi" or "Hey" then, she'd respond back "Hey" in a nice, friendly way. Now whenever I do greet her (and I still do, 'cause I know people don't dislike other people just for the fuck of it) she'd say "Hi" bluntly in this monotonic voice. I haven't had the chance to get to meet her fully, but the problem with doing that is...man, it's kind of hard...she's frightening, almost when she speaks bluntly, because her voice turns so low and firm. She sounds like a really nice person when she talks to other people, and I'm guessing she is a nice person. Man, this is hard. They both hang out with each other a lot, 'cause yeah, they're friends, and I see no problem in that. The way they act toward me, however, (communication wise) is pretty similar.

I know that there are a lot of other things I should mention about my friend, but overall, he doesn't act (and I mean "act", not "is") like a person I'd see as a friend. He's still my friend, though, and we still hang out after school sometimes. He still invites me over sometimes too. It's like this big fucking gap that stands in between all of this. He acts cool to everyone else, so I don't know if it's something personal or maybe people found a way around that problem he has. We both have a lot of close friends in common, so it kind of makes the problem deep.

So what should I do? We've known each other for a long time, and highschool's almost over, and soon it might be too late to fix things. The reason I mentioned it now was that it happened today again. He ignored me all day, and I want to fix this. I know he has other friends, and I do too, but how could he not notice what he's been doing? It used to hurt, but like I've mentioned, it's happened so much that I really stopped giving a damn.

What can I do to resolve this? I just want to make this better. Man, I want us to keep being friends without that fucked up gap in the middle.

Perseus
May 4th, 2010, 04:51 PM
I guess you could ask why he's doing it when y'all are having a good time, y'know? You could just slip in the question while you guys are talking, and he might answer you since he is obviously isn't ignoring you.

Drekkin
May 5th, 2010, 01:45 AM
That's where the problem lies. He's been doing that for a long time that I guess even he doesn't notice. I mentioned it to him a few times back then, but like I mentioned...he doesn't even notice it, that he acts as if I'm crazy.

Perseus
May 5th, 2010, 06:03 PM
You could just bug him about it a lot. Tell him that you really want to know why, and he might tell you, but I dunno. Tell him that you don't like it, and it makes you think he's mad at you.

Kahn
May 5th, 2010, 09:30 PM
If he truly treats you as if you don't exist or you have never met I'd suggest either getting an explanation, or just leaving him alone. He seems as if he wants to keep to himself, and if he treats you like this maybe that is the best thing for him. Maybe it will be the best thing for you as well. Some people are just meant to be alone, and some people are meant for attention.

The girl on the other hand... I don't really have an explanation or any clue why she is treating you like this. I find it odd, and maybe she has grown bored of you. All I can say is to try to be friendly one on one with her and see if you guys can become good friends, and if she continues to act this way take a break from her for awhile.

Drekkin
May 9th, 2010, 01:31 AM
Hey man, thanks.

The situation's still kind of unreasonable. On Friday he ignored me completely; he said nothing to me at all. It kind of pisses me off because it feels as if he's pissed at me for some reason, and he's taking it out on me without even having me know what the hell is going on. Or it's probably just in his nature. Whatever it is, it's making me more concerned about it, but at the same time making me not give a damn.

Even today...Me and a few other friends from a club went to the movies today. We were all chillin' until we walked back to the bus we took to get there, only to make me end up bump in to my "friend" and his friend getting off of that same bus (and what a surprise, they were going to the movies too). He and his friend saw me with my other friends...and that bastard ended up giving me that face again, while his friend was laughing while they were getting off the bus--until she saw me--then she stopped and (surprise) a blank stare. Man, I swear, I'm tired of that same routine.

We all entered the bus, until suddenly another friend of mine entered the bus and noticed me and was surprised (In a cool, happy way, I guess) to see me on the same bus. He didn't give me some stupid look or ignore me. So why the hell would my other friend end up doing that every time we encounter each other?

Man, this is something that's starting to concern me even more.

INFERNO
May 10th, 2010, 01:37 AM
It may not be anything directly related to you but rather the fact that the friend and the girl share very similar situations and personalities. Although you may have a similar situation with him regarding fathers, chances are his are much more or involve other people that he does not wish to tell you about. These situations do affect one's behavior and that likely may be why he ignores you or makes a face of disgust.

It can also be likely that you somehow reflect a person he dislikes, along with the girl or you do something or act in a certain way to trigger this dislike. What that is I haven't a clue but it seems likely.

The fact that he invites you over and seems happy to have you over may mean there is something about you that counters what the other thing may reflect or simply there's a background situation that changes, causing the change in behavior.

Nagging people tends to result in them responding with anger or frustration and given the friend's behavior, it probably would be unsuccessful. You can try anyways though as he may give in.

Your other friend and you probably have more experience together, more likes and dislikes, matching personalities, similar situations and similar social groups (other than the first friend and the girl).

PatrickZii
May 11th, 2010, 03:33 PM
That's pretty strange. Maybe there is stuff going on you don't know about. Could you try to talk about it next time you guys are hanging out together?

DrkZ90
May 11th, 2010, 10:09 PM
I can relate to your friend, specially on the not talking much part... have you considered him having feelings for you and/or going through depression? cause let me tell you, he might not be doing any of this on purpose... in fact, he could be worried about the exact same things that you do.

If he is shy like me, and you add stuff like depression and confusing feelings to the mix, it will only deepen the shyness and I know that all too well... don't judge him too hard just because of that...

Try getting some time alone with him, and ask him in a very serious tone if there's something wrong going on his life that you don't know of, if he is ok, and generally ask about your friendship... also, be sure to tell him how you feel about how he acts, he more than likely doesn't know it hurts you...

Drekkin
May 12th, 2010, 03:53 AM
You know, I haven't actually thought about that. (In response to the posts after the last post I made)

I didn't really think how he was feeling, since I only considered how it made me react/feel. Well I did, but I didn't think it would be something more emotional. It might not be, but the way it's been ocillating, it's getting hard to comprehend.

Well yeah, he and she are close friends, and I guess they do have a lot more in common. I've tried talking to him before, but a usual routine almost always happens everyday. All us friends meet up at some lockers afterschool, and right after we dismiss he just ends up walking with her and they leave together, leaving me no time to say anything. Atleast a "Later" or a "See ya" would suffice.

I was hanging out with him yesteray after classes were over. We were only talking about some academic crap we have to handle before the end of the year. We were socializing though, and we were actually having a good time. It's just weird how he acts that way when we're alone.

He did tell me one time that he was depressed (that was a while back), and maybe it still lingers in him...It's just wierd how he changes attitudes from day to day, even with other people sometimes.

We used to talk about how we felt about whatever shit happened, but then it just stopped.

And from what DrkZ90 said...hey man, you're probably on to something. I never really thought about placing myself in his perspective...then again, there's a lot about him that I don't know. And I get how you feel.

Then again, he's not like most people I've met...

DrkZ90
May 12th, 2010, 07:53 PM
We used to talk about how we felt about whatever shit happened, but then it just stopped.

And from what DrkZ90 said...hey man, you're probably on to something. I never really thought about placing myself in his perspective...then again, there's a lot about him that I don't know. And I get how you feel.

Then again, he's not like most people I've met...

Well, exactly... you don't know a lot of things about him, so there might be something that could be causing this... as you said you used to talk about how you felt about everything, it might be something he isn't comfortable talking about it... it could very well be him having feelings for your or something, or some kind of personal problem he just can't bring up in a conversation...

I still stand for my initial advice, get him alone and talk to him on a serious tone about how he is doing and if there's anything that's causing him to distance himself from you...

Good luck, and best of wishes for you too, you two can do it :yes: