No place or purpose

[ZFX86]

Everytime I hear of someone dying it makes me think: why them? Recently there have been a few deaths of people close to my family. It was devestating for their loved ones because they had children who will never see them again, they wont have a daddy. This makes me feel guilty because, straight to the point, I would like to die. Why should they die when they're cherished and loved and enjoying life? It's awful that the people who are needed have to go when there are people like me who wish for it...

[TakeMyHand]

I know the feeling, but you have to remember that that there are people who would be very upset if you died just the same, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. It shouldn't be a matter of who deserves to live more, as everyone deserves life, but a matter of, well, no one dying in the first place. If you die, that isn't going to help anyone, it isn't going to "replace" someone else's death.

It sounds like you are a very caring person who wants what's best for others, have you ever considered a career helping people directly? It may give you more reason to want to go on living, to help others. That's kind of what made me decide to stay, even if I don't want to live, there are others out there who deserve better than they are getting and I would feel like I was abandoning them if I just left this world. And who knows, you may find happiness for yourself along the way. :)

[ZFX86]

Thanks for the reply. You say there are people that would be upset at my death, I wish there was. I think the career suggestion is a great idea, but I'm only 14.

I was wondering - What would the most considerate way possible be for someone killing themself for those responsible afterwards? I think suicide is a somewhat selfish act if executed in a certain way

[Atonement]

Hey, sorry you're having troubles with this

Life is rough. Above how rough life is, its also so very fragile. There are so many things that can go wrong. A friend of mine died this winter when she was on her way to school to become a nurse. She was hit head on by a semi. Did she deserve it? No. Did anything cause it except random conincidence? Absolutely not.

With how many things that can go wrong, life is difficult. But, all we can do is change our reaction to this. We need to understand that life can end at anytime. Though it seems like hell, it can be lived through. You can get through this.

Suicide is never the answer. Your reaction is your choice. You have so much potential if you can wake up and change your point of view. When depressed and in a bad state of mind, its like there is a cloud of confusion and haze around your head that blurs your judgement. Try to step out of your place in life and see that life can be so much fun and so fulfilling. The fact that it ends shouldn't hinder your ability to try to live it out. The children of the man who died will be sad. For sure. Though, know that they will be stronger from going through that pain.

Everything we grow through makes us stronger.
This is, of course, only if you grow through it.

You can win this battle with depression.

PM if you ever need anything.

Suicide hotline for UK if you are ever distressing and in need of immediate help: 08457 90 90 90

[peaceloverugby]

Ollie, from what I can tell, you are a very caring person, something of which the world is in dire need. I struggled with many of the same feelings you have right now when my friend died last June. But a few months later I realized Jack wouldn't want me living like that. He would want me to see the joy in life, all of the good things that are happening around me. You have to open your eyes to the good in life. I always think of the last stanza of Robert Frost's "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening": "The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Promise yourself to live life to its fullest, to see the good in it. You have miles to go before you sleep :)

[ZFX86]

I wish I could be positive. I spend my whole day pretending to be positive for others' benefit. I know how shit things can be sometimes so I'll always try to brighten someone's day up if they need it. Nobody ever does that for me. Things are getting worse everyday, I discovered my girlfriend of a year lies to me all the time to get out of spending time with me. My parents feel the need to remind me everyday that I'm a letdown, continually disappointing them. I really hate complaining like this but it's just not fair. I would never do anything to hurt anybody yet it is me who hurts. I've tried to find outlets to make me feel better. I'm a keen athlete so I try to train, I even tried religion - I just feel crap, all the time. They say it can help to let it out, but I could cry until I feel sick and things would be the same. I even go for walks in the middle of the night to try to reflect on things but I just upset my self even more.

[peaceloverugby]

Unfortunately, we cannot control the actions of other people. If your girlfriend is lying to you, break up with her; I will bet all the money in my wallet that she's not "the one" for you. Surround yourself with people who care about you. There have to be people who care about you, they might just be too shy to say it or they assume you know they care so they don't express it. If you're an athlete, talk to a coach or teammate who you trust.

I've never met your parents or heard the way they speak to you, but sometimes parents...misspeak. Or rather, we misunderstand. What I'm trying to say is they say something that they intend to be helpful or cause you to change something to improve because they want to see you succeed. However, you perceive that comment as being rude or demeaning. I might be a million miles off, but I know that's how it was with my mum.