started again.

[georgiamay]

i didn't really cut... i just stratched my leg until it bled in the school toilets. and that REALLY hurt, but that's what i wanted. i dont want to do it anymore, i want to keep it as a one off, but i keep wanting to do it again. i made a really small scratch on my arm aswell, but that's not really noticable. it's my legs that are noticable. the look, quite obviously self inflicted. i dont want to do it again, i really dont, but i want the pain to go away. the pain i get from hurting myself replaces a worse pain that i cant cope with. it makes me feel better, but i dont want it to. i really want to stop, but not for myself, that's another thing that's annoying me. i want to stop for everyone else. i dont want the to think that way of me if they find out, but i want to carry on, i just dont want the to know, and if i keep going, someone will notice.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont want ANYONE knowing. i dont want to have to talk to anyone about it, just saying the words self harm outloud makes me cringe. i want to cut, but i dont want to.

this probably doesn't make any sense... i just needed to vent a bit.

[Amyxoxo]

Just try.
This is really the only thing that will stop you from doing it to yourself.
I know that it is hard, but so is everything in life.
"I want to cut, but i dont want to."
I know what you mean.
You feel the urge but you know that it is wrong.
As I said all you can really do is try, sorry :/

[LoveMe_HateMe]

You say you don't want anyone knowing... maybe it'll help if you tell one person you trust. I didn't want anyone knowing in case they thought differently about me but my boyf found out and he asked a few questions like why, how etc but when i didnt answer he dropped it. He treats me exactly the same as before and doesnt mention it. The only thing he said when he found out is that he'd tell my parents if he saw I'd done it again, which has actually stopped me from doing it again (for now anyway :/).

You say you want to vut but you don't want to, I know exactly what you mean. Can't you find an alternative for it? I know some people say the elsatic band thing and the red pen thing works? Have you tried them?

I know the feeling of the pain from SH replacing a pain you cant cope with...

Really can't think of anything else to say that'll help you :/ but I hope this helps :)

PM if you want to talk anymore and I'll try and help or just listen if you need me to :hug3: x

[Mike321]

I did the same things as you, just kept stratching untill it bled for the feeling of the pain, but if you say that you want to stop only for the sake of the people you care about.
Maybe you could use this as some sort of incentive on stopping, I know its not nice when people find out and some people do look at you differently.
I know the feeling of wanting to stop but not wanting to at the same time, but your right, people will notice if you carry on, thats one of the reason why I stopped the first time round.
So even if you dont want to do it for yourself, do it for your friends and family.
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk, hope this helps :)

[georgiamay]

thank you every one :) i'll try and stop properly this time, rather than a few weeks and then a relapse. i'll really try this time :)

[Mike321]

Thats good to hear
Remeber we're here if you need any support
Good luck :)