Playing it down.

[Fiction]

Everytime i self harm, and especially if i try something new, i always play down my scars and marks. I always seem to think what what i am doing couldn't possibly leave any lasting marks, at least not ones that would be there for long. I still have scars from 3 and a half months ago that at the time i wasn't sure would even leave a mark. I poured a kettle full of water over my hand the other day convinced it would be nothing and now i have a really obvious burn all over my hand. It disgusts me to look at it now, to know that i did that too myself but still i want to keep doing it more and more. I don't seem to mind the neat rows of scars where they can be easily hidden. Although i have a well rehearsed story i still feel panicky every time anyone ask about it. I still feel like a liar. I feel like i'm letting people down and that in the end i'm going to make everyone i care about hate me. Sorry this was such a pointless post but i needed to vent.

[Mike321]

I understand what you mean about feeling like a liar, I hated and still do hate lieing to people about what the marks are. I felt the same about making everyone I care about hate me, its not a nice feeling.
As with the scars I have one from 4 years ago, so its like a constant reminder of what I did to myself. So your not alone, dont worry
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk/vent etc

[georgiamay]

i know how you feel, its a horrible feeling, when you think you're making everyone else hate you.
PM me if you ever need to talk.
anyway, self harm kind of comes with scars. it's an occupational hazard. the best way to prevent obvious ones, is to either, stop self harming, which would be the best way. or, if you aren't ready to stop yet, which i completely understand, then you could maybe pay more attention to wear you SH. so only do it in places that can be easily hidden if you dont feel ready to stop yet.

[Amyxoxo]

Ok this is what I tell myself when I'm dealing with the subject lying.
- Would they rather you tell them, they are hurt, they never really look at you the same way. You all become distant from each other.
OR ...
- You don't tell them, keep one secret (I'm sure that they don't tell you EVERYTHING!) And everything carries on as usual. With you and them anyways.

HOWEVER
If your being realistic, they are bound to find out one day, would it be better to find out now or later?

Your choice :)

[Fiction]

Thankyou all of you. I'm not about to tell anyone else about my self harm however much of a liar i feel.

[HeroesAndCons]

awwwwww if u feel down pm me
i can be of help