The official Master/submissive thread.

[Cronyne]

EDIT2: Oh great. You guys are out there, you just can't be bothered. Tsk tsk tsk.

EDIT: Honestly, not so much as a question from someone? What a waste.

WARNING, THIS TOPIC MAY INCLUDE SOME EDGY SUBJECTS.


I hardly doubt many teens are part of this lifestyle, but it's worth a try.

S&M, master and submissive, D/s, Dominant and pet, etc, all those similiar terms, and the most popularly known BDSM. (Personally, I think acronyms make things look immature...)

This kind of relationship is deep, and intense. Emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Now the problem is most people have the wrong idea here. They think it's just a sexual control thing in the bed. It's not. A true relationship of this lifestyle is 24/7, full time, their entire day. Outside of the bed.

As the submissive, you must be able to give yourself over to that person, physically and mentally. You must be ready to do what they wish, follow new rules, and push your limits for them, often including pain limits. Myself, for my Master, I'd be playing... what I could best describe as an intensive housewife role (no offense intended.). Doing all the housework for Him so He never Has to worry, making sure His food is made when He arrives home, and... well, whatever else Master wants from me. Making his life a paradise with his own personal pet/slave/submissive makes me euphorically happy. Everything from a simple coffee in the morning to more ... bed-ridden activities. That's simply the best way I can describe the submissive.

As for the Dominant, it may seem like a lie-down job, but it's equally responsible. As the Dominant, you need to be able to control them entirely, slowly train them until both their body and mind belongs to you, and make them know that they are safe, and that they make you happy. And never, ever be afraid to make your submissive do what you wish. If you can't control them, they won't be able to stay. You're taking ownership of another being, and you need to take that as a trophy, and a project. And one of the more important apsects of course, is punishment. You need to be able to punish, even if harshly, but not to the point where they start to doubt how much you value them. This role, is NOT for a passive person, it is for someone who knows what they want.


In my opinion, I find these relationships to be even more stable than marriages. It involves deeper commitment, rules, and people know their place. I'm not quite sure if I'm describing this the best way, but there it is.

So, anyone who's part of this, feel free to share yourself, and whoever would like to ask questions, ask.

[Sith Lord 13]

No one? Seriously?

[Art_dude]

I do not subscribe to that lifestyle, and I don't agree with it's philosophy, but I'm curious to ask why you get satisfaction by being manipulated or taking the role of manipulating someone. I realize that two individuals who wish to be in a 'bdsm' lifestyle are consensual (clearly - it's a pretty intense way to live. Both people better like doing it) but I'm curious as to what the impulse is (conscious or unconscious) that drives you to desire such a seemingly toxic relationship (from the outside view.)

[4IrishJustice]

First off S&M stands for Sadism and Masochism. and D/s is Dominant and submissive. Two very different things that just happen to usually go together. I am in favor of a BDSM relationship if I can ever find a good sub. Problem is...culture. What Art_Dude said says it all. To call it a toxic relationship (yes I know you said "seemingly" toxic) shows a cultural bias. Just as the everyday American would be, or would at least claim to be, appalled by one man having a Harem of women, they also take offense to the idea of BDSM. There are still countries whose laws hold that an individual's preference to BDSM is a mental illness. The internet is responsible for a lot of this prejudice. People see photos and videos of the most intense sexual encounters possible. It can be off-putting even to me, an admitted Dom. These videos also show people who are sadists (one who enjoys putting others in pain) and Masochists (those who enjoy torture and humiliation) instead of the true 24/7 D/s relationship. Internet S&M shows are faked. Those people are not the people I relate to. Don't let the internet give you bias. If you want to know more about the relationship D's or s's have; ask them. We're normal people. I promise.

Those who are submissive are not weak. They are not damaged by some past tragedy, they do not have any kind of psychological problem. They enjoy serving ONE master. And they get a sense of safety, security, and affection. Isn't that what we all want? Safety, security, and affection?

Those who are dominant are not blood thirsty monsters. They are not damaged. They do not have any kind of psychological problem. They love their slaves more than anything else. That's why they've chosen to take them in. Most Doms are extremely paternal. They give their slaves a warm and caring relationship, and they get back an extreme devotion. This is not a god complex. It's just a type of person.

As for the appeal? Ask a straight man why he's straight. Ask someone in a "normal" relationship why they're not submissive or dominant. I can't explain why I enjoy having my significant other serve me, nor do I think a sub can explain why fetching their master's morning coffee excites them. But it does. The same way "normal" people are attracted to each other. As long as it's not being thrown in your face, just let people be happy.

I think BDSM is on the rise. You might be working or going to school with a Dom or Sub right now, and I promise you cannot tell by how they act in public. Not because they're hiding, but because it's a PRIVATE affair. Some subs are very outspoken in public and some Doms are quite reserved. There is no one mold or stereotype. People need to get over it.

[Art_dude]

Those who are submissive are not weak. They are not damaged by some past tragedy, they do not have any kind of psychological problem. They enjoy serving ONE master. And they get a sense of safety, security, and affection. Isn't that what we all want? Safety, security, and affection?

If that's what we all want, then why aren't all BDSM participants in the submissive category?

As for the appeal? Ask a straight man why he's straight. Ask someone in a "normal" relationship why they're not submissive or dominant. I can't explain why I enjoy having my significant other serve me, nor do I think a sub can explain why fetching their master's morning coffee excites them. But it does. The same way "normal" people are attracted to each other. As long as it's not being thrown in your face, just let people be happy.

Again, I hope I didn't offend you - I'm not trying to make any judgement of what this particular lifestyle entails. I'm here to try and understand it, and I thank you for your thorough post. Ironically enough, I was just in another thread last night discussing the power distribution in relationships. The OP was concerned that his gf seemed to have a more dominant personality, made more decisions etc. What seemed to be the general consensus, was that his gf simply had a more direct, task oriented mindset that would make her better at taking a more dominant role in certain aspects of the relationship. However, I believe it would start to become an unfair power struggle when the other person can't also take dominant roles too (but as you said, that's what a submissive looks for) I guess where I'm still a little fuzzy in understanding is why dominants feel such pleasure in having power over every aspect of the relationship.

thanks again for your replies. It's been very enlightening!