I want to come out but I don't know who to first...HELP!

[dilydan]

Hi my name is Dylan im 14 and I live in Scotland, United Kingdom. I am 100% gay and I want to come out but I don't know who to first, here are my options:

My Parents - who I never talk to about sex or whatever but I think my Mum thinks I'm gay

My friend Lauren - I sit next to her in English, computing and art (i feel i can really trust her)

My other friends - i don't know how they will react

My cousin Ryan - I talk to him just about every night on skype and we play Call of Duty on Xbox Live together, we talk about sex and stuff and really I can talk to him about anything (but I don't know how he will handle me being gay)

Please help

Thanks, Dylan F.

[Mattasaur94]

So-- I can't exactly give a first hand-account on how to do it... but this is how I see it...

(Welcome to VT. I'm sure you'll enjoy it here, any problems, just post or blog about it and we'll help you out. (: )

Firstly, what's the main reason for you to wanting to come out?
If it's just so people know and that you can get that massive weight of your chest and because you want to bbe who you are and you want to be able to relax around people, because they know who you really are... Then, well... I'd have to stop you there.

You have to be sure this is what you want. It's incredibly hard to "take it all back" if people react negatively.
What I personally would suggest, is not bothering "comming out".
I'm not you, so I don't exactly know how you feel towards the situation and your exact reasoning, but how I see it, labelling yourself as gay/straight/bi/lesbian/etc only ever throws stereotypes onto you. No matter what people say, thats what happens.
If your looking to come out, you need to stop and think, "is this incredibly important to me?" If it is, and you really want your parents (usually the hardest audience to talk to) to know, then bring it up casually.
Don't make a massive deal out of it, you don't need to run around screaming, "I'M GAY!"
I see it irrelivent to anyone, it's your life, be who you are, who you want to be.
But, I've been brought up in a don't-ask-don't-tell family.
If someone doesn't ask you about it, then there's no point talking about it. If someone does ask you about it, just tell them. Don't make a big deal out of it and ALWAYS be honest. It's the least you can do.

I would possibly talk to Lauren about it, write notes across to each other in class, as I said before, don't make a big deal out of it, but ask her for help with comming out, say that your not sure how everyone will react, see how she reacts, and then 'follow your heart'.
Family members are harder to talk to, about any problems really that can affect your status with them.
You can pick your friends, and always make new ones who are comfortable with homosexuality, but you can't choose your family (in most cases).

Take your time, do it how ever you feel comfortable. Make sure you know the reasons why your doing it. Try and talk to people 1-on-1.
but make sure it's what you want, and make sure you'll be happy with what ever decision you end up making.

[Fruit_Tart.]

well... im bi but i had and having the same problem to deal with here. the first person i ever told in real life was my friend victoria and i trusted her with all my heart. so i told her one day out of the blue and she said, "oh. thats cool. well me too." and its been a good thing ever since.
your lauren friend is prolly like her and i think you can tell her jus as long as she is very trusting and gives you a good hint that she is no "homophobe".
if your parents are okay with a gay son i would go with telling them too but jus as long as they accept you, which im guessing they'd be becuz your moms guessing your gay.
you other friends??? eh... i need some more info to analyze. (woah sounded like a robot :P)
and your cuzin ryan! hey thats my name! lol. well you can tell him jus as long as he is okay with other gay people as well. like my cuzin and i talk about sex and play together and stuff but i wouldn't tell him jus becuz he doesn't really like homos and that he makes fun of them. :( but if you trust your cuzin and believe he can take it i'd take a shot but if you are a bit unsure don try becuz it could ruin a relation with him.
sorry if that was no help. apologizing ahead of time. and im sorry if other people disagree but this is wat i think^^... ~HaPPyEmO