my friend..

[L]

i have a friend who i'm fairly sure is bi sexual (80% sure or so..) but when ever i mention anything along the lines of that he freaks out at me. :(
anyway, i think he's really cute and i just don't know how to get him out of the closet. although there always is the chance that i'm wrong and he's heterosexual, which is the reason why i don't just jump out and tell him i'm bi too. whats your thoughts?

[Mr. Smithers]

Well if he's your friend, you should tell him that friends don't keep secrets from each other. Both of you should be honest.

However, its his choice as to whether or not he wants to discuss that information with you. You should talk to him about being honest with you.

You should also be honest with him, if you expect the same in return.

[Zero Beat]

My thoughts are, check what he thinks about being bi. Try to not to make it about him. More about being bi in general. Or you could just say, I don't mind it. Act dump to it to see how he acts. But you can always be upfront and keep your fingers together.

[L]

(assuming he's not bi) letting him know my sexuality runs a high risk of others finding out, were not exactly best friends that keep everything secret. although i do hold an embarrassing secret of his, which i could use to keep his mouth shut, i'd rather not get to that point.

[Zero Beat]

Threatening him, isn't so much of a good idea. No matter how embarrassing the secret is.

[L]

My thoughts are, check what he thinks about being bi. Try to not to make it about him. More about being bi in general. Or you could just say, I don't mind it. Act dump to it to see how he acts. But you can always be upfront and keep your fingers together.

i've tried all that i'm afraid, i'll say "i don't mind bi people, i don't judge" and he instantly says "i'm not bi!" anything that even touches on the topic causes this reaction

Threatening him, isn't so much of a good idea. No matter how embarrassing the secret is.

yes i'm only going to do that in the case that he's going to go off and tell people my sexuality, at which point i would have pretty much given up on him.

[Zero Beat]

If you don't trust him enough to keep it in his big mouth. Don't say anything till you two work on the relationship or something.

[L]

yeah i suppose thats all i can really do. :(

[WilliamOrtego]

If I were you I'd reflect on your relationship as friends first, like how long have you been friends, and how good of friends are you, and whether you think coming out to him first would not only shock him, but push him away. Just don't tell him anything about your interest in him when and if you come out to him first, that'll be too much for him to take in.

[thepieman]

I think you should stay as mates for now, get to know and trust each other better than you already do. Maybe after a few months tell him that you're bi, but I wouldn't keep asking him if he is bi if he provokes that reaction. If you tell him you're bi, after spending time to get to know each other, then maybe he'll talk to you about it, and then he'll tell you if he is or not. Also, if you are good mates, it may not be a great idea to jump into a relationship, in case the worst happens, though ultimately this is down to the pair of you. Good luck. :)

[ati5870]

Well if you can't trust him if you told him your sexuality, then that means that he probably couldnt trust you in that way. Become stronger friends and then tell him. You can't really force someone out of the closet, they will just tell you when they are ready to come out.

[seanyboy16]

just go for it:)

[MacMilker]

Well, he seems very defensive of the matter, which could possibly mean he is.

Just because someone says their not doesn't mean point blank, their not.

Just pry him away bit by bit. Time will tell.

[mattvt94]

just say i am askin u this as a friend and i wont think any less of u but are u .... and fill in the sentence how u want from there and if he is and u want let him know but you need a good reason cause he will probably ask y

[curboy8]

Just talk to him bout it. He should understand
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