Parent's troubling us

[KiNG07]

To start with, my parents just found out i was smoking, so i got into real trouble as they found a pack of cigarette in my bag. Things got really messed up, they threw me out of the house and by night they talked to me like 3 hours and let me in again. Following that i have a girlfriend whom i really love a lot, she just got 17 and i'll be getting 18 soon. yesterday She told her mom that she'll be going to tuition but in fact there was no tuition, she came to meet me at another place. Someone saw her and told her mom that she didn't have tuition and went to meet his bf. Things started to get worse for her, the same person which told her mom that, also told everything that she did like partying only once. After that another person saw her and i cuddling, and told her mom that it was me. And now her mom wants to meet my parents to land me into trouble. If ever she comes to talk to my parents, i'll be in serious problem as i am already for smoking. They may stop me from going to school. to make things worse, my gf's parents told her that they'd stop her from going to school, meaning they'll want me to marry her, i simply can't do that right now. I have exams soon, i dunno what to do, i feel stressed, depressed. It's like we only have suicide as solution. She'll be getting into trouble because of me :(

[Bard95]

My friend had a problem similiar to the smoking part. This always helps me, Take a DEEEEPP breath. Then lay on ur bed and relax every single muscle. Close your eyes for a couple minutes. open your eyes and lay there and think about one thing at a time. When you think about everything at once, it makes it even more overwhelming. Just take one step at a time. Apoligize to your parents about smoking first.(i know thatll suck but it makes the situation better) I think you were smoking because you got streesed out. tell them that. That they are stressing you out and you need a break. Idk if you told your girl friend to lie or not. Because that could turn into two different situations. So get back to me whether you told her to lie or not please. And your parents forcing you two to marry is illegal because you have your rights as a citizen and their child.

And then exams, take another deep breath. and take a jog before you start thinking about them. Then come back and study for them. But pleese take a break every half an hour or so. If you dont, you will be more likely to be even more overwhelmed.

Remember, One thing at a time helps. Im only 14 but i know alot about this kinda stuff from expierience. If you need any extra help just pm me. always willing to help some1. Good luck:)

[KiNG07]

I thought about what you said, the problem is the brain thinking about problems comes naturally, and thus i fear i fail all my exams, i even had nightmares about that and everything. Another thing is that i live on an island, thus people are not so open-minded they land us in trouble easily. I told her to lie about me, else her mom would come directly to my parents and tell everything. I won't have money to finance my studies.

It's like am seeing my life breaking down. I can't find any solution, my gf and i decided if things went for the worst, we'll enjoy at the last minute and suicide, i know it's not a rational solution, it's just that i can't do anything. I am already in big trouble for smoking and if they know for my gf, they might become furious as hell.

I feel like being hopeless, at night i even have some nightmares along with the stress and everything, and when am so stressed up about a personal problem, i get stomach cramps. I can't even think straight, i mean i can't even revise. Thanks in advance, I just hope i'll get a better solution than permanent suicide.

[Bard95]

An island??? what island?? Like Long island New York? If you are sure ur parents are taking you guys out of school, only if ur sure, find a quick easy job. Even if its low pay, take it. And save up so that you two can fly off the island and find an apt for yourselves or anything. But please dont even consider suicide. I had a friend whoes brother did that and everyone, including me, were all f***ed up after that. So please dont. I would feel horrible too.

Is there a police station anywhere near(im not one for police but only if theyre neessicar)??? Ask them for a phone number for a therapist. Ive been to therapy and it helped ALOT!!! They will help you out and protect you in a way.

Please practice what i said. Take a deep breath and relax every muscle. And think 1 thing at a time. Thats what my therpist told me. so from him to me to you. Please P-M me if you need any help at all... if you have aol tell me i will help you out.. I know what you r going through... in a way

[Rutherford The Brave]

Your not legally allowed to smoke, don't get pissy,

[Bard95]

Your not legally allowed to smoke, don't get pissy,

whos getting pissy? If you don thave anything nice to say dont say anything. The last thing anyone needs is an inconsiderate person likey ou:mad:

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Ok I don't even know where to start.
First off, her parents cannot take her out of school ,thats ilegal.
Second, why would they take her out of school? They probably will switch her school so that you are not at the same one.
Second off, why would they "force" you to marry?
It is totally normal to date at your age, I could understand if they are super religious and found out you had sex and wanted you to marry, but they cannot "force" you, plus you both have to be of age to marry.

Why the hell would you even CONSIDER suicide over THIS?
You are 17 for fucks sake, and your going to both kill yourselfs than deal with the concequences of your actions?
and i'm sorry but how does killing yourself's to avoid getting married work?
Like you'd rather be dead than married?
That just proves your not old enough to be in this relationship.

None of the concequeses are going to be as bad as you imagined, they're is nothing her parents can do other than forbid you to see her.
Thats why we have a little thing called free will.

[Aspiringanonymous]

whos getting pissy? If you don thave anything nice to say dont say anything. The last thing anyone needs is an inconsiderate person likey ou:mad:

Your not legally allowed to smoke, don't get pissy,

Let's keep this thread about giving constructive advice please, thanks. If there is a problem, take it to PMs.

[Arantor]

Dude, don't even think about suicide. It's not an option, it's the same as running away from something.

I would recommend talking to your parents about EVERYTHING. I know its always hard to do, but apoligize about smoking. Tell them you want to get your life back on track, tell them about the girl (which I know is sometimes an awkward subject with parents), tell them about the girls parents, basically EVERYTHING!

I know it's hard, but it's really the only option I see.

and winterfell, you see someone contemplating suicide, you don't come in with a comment like that.

[Kaius]

Ok I don't even know where to start.
First off, her parents cannot take her out of school ,thats ilegal.
Second, why would they take her out of school? They probably will switch her school so that you are not at the same one.
Second off, why would they "force" you to marry?
It is totally normal to date at your age, I could understand if they are super religious and found out you had sex and wanted you to marry, but they cannot "force" you, plus you both have to be of age to marry.

Why the hell would you even CONSIDER suicide over THIS?
You are 17 for fucks sake, and your going to both kill yourselfs than deal with the concequences of your actions?
and i'm sorry but how does killing yourself's to avoid getting married work?
Like you'd rather be dead than married?
That just proves your not old enough to be in this relationship.

None of the concequeses are going to be as bad as you imagined, they're is nothing her parents can do other than forbid you to see her.
Thats why we have a little thing called free will.

I agree with Tegan. I don't know either of your parents but I can't see why they'd object to two 17 year old teenagers dating. The most they'll be angry for is probably the fact you lied, but they'll get over that. As Tegan said, you've kind of proved you're a bit too immature to be in this sort of thing if you're treating it as the be all and end all, and think suicide is the way out of this instead of facing the music. You'd be in a lot deeper shit if you even tried to commit suicide, failed and then had to deal with it all, believe me I've been there. Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Try meeting her parents, and let hers meet yours. You might find the consequences are the opposite to what you think and they might like the idea of you dating.

[KiNG07]

Ok. so am here, i thought a bit about everything. I told my gf what to explain to her parents. we found a better way. and am sorry for suicide it was out of stress that i wrote that, you know when you're stressed and have lots of work to do, you just want to set everything right. What happened now is that her mom told her to study well and that she does have the right to have bf. but because of exams it's a bit complicated. Her mom knows me well thus she told her husband that i study well and those things and they didn't came to meet my parents which would have left me in big trouble as i already have a rough time due to cigarette. To sum up, everything's o.k but she does have some constraints, and to speak the truth, she told her parents that we're just best friends.

You may all find my situation awkward, that's just because am living in a different country. Different country, means different cultures and way of life. We could say that some people are not so open minded, am not judging them, it's just a fact. As for some of you that instantly proved that i am not mature enough, i'd say that maybe you just have an easy life, and that when you have all project works assessments on the way, you can relax and chillout. Nevertheless I did came up with my own solution and i just didn't rely on you guys that keep judging people.

[WilliamOrtego]

Wow I understand her parents freaking out about her being out with a boy when she's supposed to be somewhere else. Lying isn't the way to go.

But your parents?? Why would they freak if you're out with a girl?

[Kaius]

You may all find my situation awkward, that's just because am living in a different country. Different country, means different cultures and way of life. We could say that some people are not so open minded, am not judging them, it's just a fact. As for some of you that instantly proved that i am not mature enough, i'd say that maybe you just have an easy life, and that when you have all project works assessments on the way, you can relax and chillout. Nevertheless I did came up with my own solution and i just didn't rely on you guys that keep judging people.

Believe me, most of us on here have worse lives than worrying about a relationship. We were not judging you, just telling you what we thought, as you asked us to do that. It seemed more in your last reply that it was you, judging us in a sense. Suicide is never the way out regardless of what culture you're from. I understand thing's are different but that's just the way we see it. I hope it goes well for you and your girlfriend.

[Bard95]

Wow I understand her parents freaking out about her being out with a boy when she's supposed to be somewhere else. Lying isn't the way to go.

But your parents?? Why would they freak if you're out with a girl?

Different countries have different cultures like he said. Some are more strict and some are more loose about it.

[KiNG07]

I guess only Bard95 understands, thanks. hi5. thanks to everybody.

[Cronyne]

Your not legally allowed to smoke, don't get pissy,

He hit one nail on the head, really.


But if you're worried about your parents, either try to talk them through it, or if they're too stubborn to listen, just go to school anyway. What're they gonna do? Nothing, cause they can't.

Or a family intervention of some sort.