Swamped

[clr9823]

I'm feeling like I'm drowning under life at the moment, and its just getting me so down. Between school, exams, homework, friends, family, parents, responsibilities, emotions :wub: and everything else life throws at me I feel as if I need a break.
I need to get away from everything... I need to be completely alone. No parents, no family, no friends, no internet, no TV, no people; just me, my thoughts and my iPod.
But I can't do this. Even though I'm 16 in a month (legal adult) I just know that between money and parents and practicality I won't be able to make it happen. But I also know that this is the only way that I'm going to be able to calm down and think things through. The few moments I spend in life now where I'm completely alone are the happiest in my life. Please help, much appreciated in advance :).

[Aspiringanonymous]

I know precisely what you mean; this too is an opportunity which I have sought for many months. An opportunity to reconnect with the essence of one's being, in an environment which perpetuates calm and clarity, free from the usual elements of chaos which threaten its development within.

Ideally, they would be able to naturally present itself in the form of a lull in your schedule and availability of other factors which make the endeavour possible. Forcing oneself to take a break when one really cannot afford to, could turn out more detrimental than beneficial. However, you mentioned that it is something you need right now, and simply waiting until however many weeks or months later wouldn't be an option - unfortunately, sometimes one must work with what is available.

It is possible to connect with that source of calm in your everyday environment - it exists here in smaller, fainter quantities, but it is there nonetheless - just, a greater effort must be made to find it. For example, during my morning walk to school, I will often find time to just stand in the grass field in the fresh air, put on some contemplative music, close my eyes, and focus on the silence (it usually is quite silent at that time of day) until the bell rings. No, it doesn't last long, but I come out of it feeling refreshed and poised for the new day.

There are many little things that can be done along the way, small durations to appreciate small quantities of tranquility. It is not enough to be significant, I know, but it is still something - and hopefully, the opportunity which you seek will become possible some time in the near future.

May you find courage and clarity.

[clr9823]

Thank you, well I've calmed down a little and I have sorted out something serious so I'm feeling a bit better. I still want to be alone for a while but isn't as urgent - I will look out for my opportunities.