how do i get him back?

[hardcore-smile]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, and now he wants a break.. we took a break for a week and it was supost to be over today, and when i called him he said he still wanted one? there are these 3 girls who he wants to be able to talk to but i don't let them because they say they want to kill me and jump me and shit, and they hate me so i don't let him talk to them, because they are sluts, and they will get inside his head and make him break up with me. He's being so rude to me, i've been cutting and he'll call me a bitch, and i'll say "im going to go cut myself now" and he'll be like "ok, whatever bye" and hang up.
How do i get him back ? he's coming over today to talk about it.
please i need REALLY good advice i love him so much.

[Deandre]

Honestly, would you want him back after all of those replies to you? Something to think about.

[hardcore-smile]

i did think about it, and yes i do.

[Scarface]

I think this Is really wrong what he Is doing to you on so many levels. First off If he Is really into these girls let them have him because they will treat him like shit and throw him to the curb thus him coming back to you. This isn't a healthy relationship I personally don't think you need a guy that tell you when you say "I'm going to go cut now" to say "Okay whatever". I know this will be hard, but If he breaks up with you have to know that moving on and finding a guy that will treat you with respect and give you the love that you deserve will be so much better than staying with him. I hope everything works out for you don't let him do this to you any more. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here to help Pm me anytime :cool:

[Art_dude]

This is definitely wrong on so many levels.....

First off... since when was 7 days, considered, 'a break'? haha. How about a month? A month will give you a decent amount of time to see what single life is again, and give you adequate time to get your bearings. Secondly, you do not have the right to dictate who he can and can't speak to. If these girls are really threatening you and you don't feel comfortable with the prospect of your boyfriend speaking to him then you need to tell him that. If you respectfully discuss that with him, he will respect that. Calling them sluts and telling him who he can and can't speak to is immature and will certainly NOT get you his support. However, if you express your real concern he will be more understanding.

Secondly, I'm sorry that he doesn't seem to care about your cutting. I'm not defending him, but not every relationship you're in can have a partner that will support you through that kind of issue. It depends on how serious the relationship is - if you've only been together a few weeks or months, don't expect him to be your therapist. However if this is long term and he isn't more understanding you have an issue: blatantly saying you're off to cut yourself to him won't help tho. You need to sit him down and ask him why he isn't taking a more supportive stance.

[hardcore-smile]

maybe you should have read it, we've been together for 2 years

[Art_dude]

Really guys? negative rep? Grow up. I'm trying to help. Maybe if you actually read my post, you'd see I was taking her side.

The bottom line is that whether the girls are sluts or not, is irrelevant. Telling your partner in a relationship what they can and can't do can come across as condescending. I'm not saying that was your intention, I'm just saying it can come across that way. I completely agree with you - I wouldn't want my partner talking to other people who hate me and would want to break us up. All I'm saying is that you should try to approach your boyfriend about the issue in a "look, this is how I feel and I would appreciate it if you don't talk to them" kind of way as opposed to a, "Those girls are sluts, I hate them and you can't talk to them." Do you understand where I'm coming from? I think he'll respond better to that approach. Plus if you explain the situation in depth, he'll know WHY you feel that way as opposed to thinking you're just paranoid, and you don't want him talking to other people.


As for the second thing: My apologies! I must've missed that. Like I had said, if you two are in a serious relationship (which 2 years definitely qualifies as one) then you need to sit him down and ask him why he is not taking a more supportive stance. It sounds like you're going through a lot right now, and you really need him to be there for you. There is a similar thread somewhere I was just involved in about someone who said there boyfriend wasn't very supportive of her depression. It sounded like the issue was that he wasn't very up to speed on what exactly depression is, it's seriousness and how it affects people. Perhaps this is a similar situation? If you sit him down and enlighten him on what you're feeling perhaps he will understand and be more supportive. I'm sorry he's not really there for you right now :(

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I agree with art_dude,
Relationships rarly work when something is "forbiden" by the other, you should have to say that, the thing is he should want to hang out with people that say things like that to you, its one of those things where you shouldn't have to tell him not to hang around them.

also, i understand its hard with cutting in a relationship, but telling him "ok i'm going to go cut myself bye" isn't going to help, its a form of control, trying to guilt the other peorson is trying to control their feelings, and its manipulative, i'm not trying to be mean, i myself have even said things like this in my past realtionships, and that is the reason they ARE past relationships.

When you feel the urge and you are talking to him, tell him you kind of have a feeling of needing to cut, ask him to cheer you up or even better, tell him how he can help. If he hasn't had depression or anything, then you're leaving him blind, he doesn't know what to do because he's never felt like that

[MacMilker]

you joined on my birthday ahaha

i wouldnt get back with him. take a break. see what the single life is like.

[Hollywood]

I'm going to agree with the masses.

If you can't even trust that he's not going to cheat on you with sluts that hate you, he isn't the one. If he dosen't care whether you harm yourself or not, he isn't the one. If he wants "extended breaks" from you, or breaks at all, he isn't the one.

He dosen't love you, and you don't love him, you just don't want to leave him. It dosen't matter how long you two have been together, relationships can go south after long periods of happiness.

Please, take our advice. This guy isn't worth you cutting yourself and worrying yourself half to death. Let him go, he's not going to get better.