I give up

[DrkZ90]

What's the point on keep trying just to be brought down even harder again? why should I keep trying to be happy,if all it does in the end is make everything even more miserable?...

I'm a failure, everything is a mess... my so-called friends either hate me and use me, or don't give a shit about me... I just don't feel like getting out of bed anymore, I don't want to try any more. I want it all to end.

Sorry for making this useless thread and boring whoever might read it (if anyone) with it...

[Sith Lord 13]

Couple of points:
1) You post here, people will read
2) We read because we want to and we want to help, so you're not boring us
3) There is always a reason to go forward. We can't always see it.

Why don't you pinpoint some the things making you feel this way, and try to deal with them one by one. You can even post them here and we'll try to help too.

[DrkZ90]

I dunno, it really isn't easy to think about them, it's the same shit as always though, I've written about them on other threads...

But today, what made me break down again, what pushed me deeper into depression was being used by a "friend" again... he has been ignoring me for 2 weeks now, and he finally replied back today when I said hello... just to ask me to do something for him... when I was no longer of help, he stopped replying and then disconnected... he just used me as the worthless tool I am...

I don't even know what I did for him to be hating me like that (again), we barely ever have time to be together anymore and he is my fucking neighbor! and I know he has been avoiding and lying to me too, making up excuses to avoid hanging out and stuff... that kills me inside, whenever someone does that to me it hurts way too much...

Then there's my other "friend", who was supposedly my best friend back in high school (I was the moron that believed that... he clearly showed me he didn't give a fuck about me since the year before the last of hs and he keeps doinig it today)... we haven't seen each other in a little over a year... to be more exact, he last came to my house the saturday before holy week started last year (It was the day before my dog died, that's why I remember it)... that day, he came supposedly to hang out with me, play videogames and talk and all that... WE barely did anything of that... he pretty much came to hang out with my brother and game console, not with me... after that, I barely heard anything from him... he is never online on msn or facebook, and when he is, he almost never replies me... and he changed both his mobile and home numbers, I asked him for the new ones that day he came, he made up an excuse and changed the topic and never gave them to me. The other day he called, my brother answered the phone and they talked... he told my brother to ask me some stuff about something he needed help with, I told my brother what he needed, even though my "friend" clearly didn't want to talk with me directly... when I told my brother to give me the phone to talk to him, and he told him I was going to talk, he hanged up.
I left him a message on facebook before holy week asking him if he had time to hang out during holy week, he said he had, and asked when I could... I told him I was completely free, for the next day if he wanted... he never replied, never showed up either.. he has been online, he has edited his profile and photos even, but he didn't care to reply...

He also wants me out of his life, that's clear to me, but I don't know what I did to him either... I ALWAYS care about my friends, a LOT, I always do my best to help them and put away other stuff for them, I honestly don't know what's wrong with me to piss them off so much

I feel like I lost track of the post, I broke down in the middle of it, sorry... I'll post it as it is, and edit it if I can....

[1_21Guns]

What's the point? your 19 years old. you have a whole life ahead of you. a whole life ahead of you to make new friends, meet new people, and most importantly, you have a whole life ahead of you to live.
your not a failure, just because your friends are complete idiots with you, doesnt make you a failure.
the less you try, the slower things will ever get better.
you can go to bed wishing you wont wake up as much as you like, its not going to make everything go away.
neither is ending it all, why should everything destroy your one chance at life?
PM me if you want to talk x

[DrkZ90]

19 years old of utter failure...

what's the point of meeting new people and making new "friends"? that's what brought me down to where I am... they always end up being the same shit, simply using me as a worthless tool, betraying me at the first chance...

Why should I want to keep doing something that clearly hasn't worked? whenever I feel like I made a new "friend", they either use me, betray me or don't give a fuck about me...

[1_21Guns]

every "friend" you meet isn't going to fuck you over, just because of your past experiences you think everyones out there just to screw you over at the first chance. not everyones the same, and if they think they can treat you like a doormat, tell them they can't.
your no 19 years of a failure hun, the more you tell yourself that, the worse you'll feel, the deeper you'll dig the hole your falling into and the worse it gets.