Relapse.

[Sunshine Girl]

So I know everyone was there for me back in '08 when I was cutting pretty badly and I know you'll still be here now.

Things have been kind of rough lately. Saturday night I was locked out of my house because everyone else were at my grandmas to eat dinner while I was at a friends instead. So I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and sat on my back porch smoking and burning them out on my arm. I havent self harmed in about a year. This destroyed me.
I'm terrified I will get worse, again. I can barely handle anything anymore and it scares me.

*hugs*
advice on where to go from here?
.....

[overcome.]

Were you experiencing anger or paranoia at this time? From reading, it's like you were paranoid you couldn't get into your house, because your family would rather keep you outside. Are there trust issues, perhaps problems at home? Do you not have your own key?

I can tell by doing what you did, you're extremely worried that you'll break into old habits again. I hope for you that's not the case. It's not a miracle cure, but talking about your problems may help you see things from a different perspective or at least feel a little better.

[Amyxoxo]

All you have to do is out yourself off the idea.
Look at pictures of what your arm could look like (if you don't trigger) or ones that will take your mind off the urges.
DO something constructive.
You know all the usual.
:) xx
*huggs*

[Atonement]

Well, to start, good freaking job on succeeding past a year.
1. The fact that you're scared of going back is great. I mean, if you blew this off and acted like nothing happened, I'd be more concerned.
2. Surround yourself with those who love you in your life until you get stronger again.
3. If you can make it to a year once, you can do it again.

[georgiamay]

well, i think the fact that you dont want to go back just shows that you can stop.
try and distract yourself in whatever way you can. If one of the distraction methods stops being effective, then start on a new one, so you're always doing something new, and that normally works :)

maybe whenever you get an urge to self harm, write down exactly what you feel, and then rip it up into tiny little pieces. it sounds stupid, but it actually does make me feel better.

just remember you've come this far already, so there's nothing stopping you from quiting completely.

[Sunshine Girl]

well, i think the fact that you dont want to go back just shows that you can stop.
try and distract yourself in whatever way you can. If one of the distraction methods stops being effective, then start on a new one, so you're always doing something new, and that normally works :)

maybe whenever you get an urge to self harm, write down exactly what you feel, and then rip it up into tiny little pieces. it sounds stupid, but it actually does make me feel better.

just remember you've come this far already, so there's nothing stopping you from quiting completely.

Thank you everyone for your support (:

It's just getting set back this far is making me feel like a little kid again. And trying something to do productive is hard because the things i do seem to be more and more self destructive lately. And the thought "well since i already have so many scars how is one more going to make it any worse?" fills my mind consistantly.
Hope is something that keeps on running out and Its hard to hold on.
I'm not suicidal, I have never been.
My sister and her boyfriend are the only ones who know.
I dont know how to tell her this again. without breaking her down.

:/

[Mike321]

Well done for the past year first off
I had the same thoughts as you about 'one more scar wont make any difference', and I know its hard to find things to keep yourself occupied when you feel like that.
But I think your sister will understand, if she knew before and helped you through it, she will be there for you again
From my expereice telling someone you really trust can make it a bit easier as your not keeping it all to yourself and letting the temptation build up
Hope this helps :)

[HeroesAndCons]

awwww thats why were here