Is it my fault?

[poorly_thought_out]

I started cutting myself in 6th grade and ive been doing it for 5 years now though i have stopped for months before. A few years after i started my best friend started (she had just found out), she was never having problems before me so i can't help to wonder, is it my fault? if she had never seem my scars would she have started? now i cut myself more because i think i started my friend doing it and it makes me feel worse about myself. Do you think that it could be my fault, can giving someone the idea make them cut?

[screamtobeheard]

Anything can have an influence on someone. But people still have to make the choice for themselves. Maybe something else is going on in her life, and it's just a coincidence. But either way, don't put the blame on yourself because no matter what, it was her choice.

[poorly_thought_out]

i just wonder if it wasnt for me would she have found a different way to releave her stress and pain and wat ever else she was feeling

[Sith Lord 13]

Possibly, or maybe she would be in the same place as she is now only without knowing she could share it with you. Or maybe she would have dealt with her stress in an even more destructive manner. You can't plague yourself with maybes. All you can do is work towards stopping and helping her stop. Maybe you two can even work together to help each other quit.

[Nickk XD]

Cutting isn't usually something is influenced by.

Cutting/self harm is a way to express your emotions in a negative way. People who cut are usually more timid/shy and stay to themselves more. Cutting is an emotion related to depression and it really isn't something you could get someone else to do...

UNLESS they are depressed/sad/etc and realize you cut. Then they realize that cutting relieves their emotions, too...but they would have found it out anyway, eventually.

Have you tried to talk to someone about you cutting?

[poorly_thought_out]

Possibly, or maybe she would be in the same place as she is now only without knowing she could share it with you. Or maybe she would have dealt with her stress in an even more destructive manner. You can't plague yourself with maybes. All you can do is work towards stopping and helping her stop. Maybe you two can even work together to help each other quit.


Thanks you have many very good points and i am going to try to work with her to stop.

[rubyred91]

ypu cant blame yourself i have been there too my friend started cutting after i confided in her (turned out she lied) but for the first couple of weeks i blamed myself and punished myself but its not your fault
information about self harm is everywhere, your not the only source to her.
instead of worry and blaming yourself throw that emotions and thought into helping her threw it and quitting yourself. it's hard to see friends go throught any kind of issue but you have to be strong to make them strong!
hope that helped a little :)

[Amyxoxo]

Have you ever thought that she looked up to you. This is why she may have copied you?
You shouldn't feel guilty and you shouldn't say that she never had any problems as she may have many deep secrets that also could have helped influence.
You didn't tell her to so it, therefore it isn't your fault.
:) x

[starbrite5]

Fro my own limited experience, it's not really your fault. My sister does/did cut, as do I. And yes, she started before me. I started a little after I found out about her. But do I blame her for my starting? No way. It had been on my mind for a while before that, and my discovery of her self-harm in no way triggered me to start. She doesn't know about me, though.

[Asylum]

it is a person's choice to make te first cut. you didn't force the razor to her skin. she could've seen it, and tried it yes, but that was her choice, that was her decision, not yours, for all you know she could'be read something about it or someoen tell her its a good choice or release and tried it... (note: i do not think it is a good release, just saying people today with pro self harm sites that promote self harm say things similar) do not blame yourself, it is not your fault. just be there to support her.

[HeroesAndCons]

it isn't your fault
it was her fault to start in the first place
she made the cut
so don't go blaming yourself
it was her fault she is to blame not you
Xx

[sum1got2]

No, it's definitely not your fault. People do things on their own free will, and you hold NO responsibility for her actions. You can only try to mend yourself and be a good friend to her, but this is her choice. No responsibility lies on you. I'm so sorry you feel that way.

[1_21Guns]

She could've got the idea of cutting from anywhere, and even if it did come from you, it's not your fault, like everyone's said, she had the choice to make. I know it's easy to blame yourself, i've been in your position before now. But it's not your fault, and it never will be.