I need to stop

[delta]

I started cutting two weeks ago. One week later I was cutting daily.

Now I'm trying to quit. Last time I cut was Wednesday. Each day, the urges keep getting worse.

When I made that first cut, I promised myself "never again". When I made that first cut, I had no idea how addicting it could be. Now I just hope I can survive one more day without cutting.

I cut for the pain, the "high", the "emotional reset" and the feel, look and taste of the blood. I haven't found any good substitute. Rubber band just hurts, same for ice. Drawing with red doesn't give the pain or release. And I get distracted from the distractions. Any help here?

[Kaius]

You've hit a very common snag, but well done for acknowledging you have a problem and trying to stop, you're doing really well. When people start cutting we often use the phrase "It's just this once, I won't do it again" But one cut is all that's needed for that vicious need to break out. My advice to you primarily is to seek help from someone you can trust. Example, a parent, or friend. Maybe a school or college counsellor. As useless as it may seem, carry on with the rubber band, and maybe try a hot or cold shower to ease the stress, If you need to talk at any time feel free to pm me, or find my details on my page. This thread Here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=839973#post839973) may also help you to keep track of the days you can keep yourself self harm free.

[delta]

When people start cutting we often use the phrase "It's just this once, I won't do it again" But one cut is all that's needed for that vicious need to break out.I discovered that a bit too late :( My advice to you primarily is to seek help from someone you can trust. Example, a parent, or friend. Maybe a school or college counsellor.I wish I knew how to tell someone.As useless as it may seem, carry on with the rubber band, and maybe try a hot or cold shower to ease the stress, If you need to talk at any time feel free to pm me, or find my details on my page. This thread Here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=839973#post839973) may also help you to keep track of the days you can keep yourself self harm free.Thanks

[piggy-wiggy]

playing games online, helps me as a distraction sometimes, especially ones which require consentration.. :)..
good luck.. (:

[delta]

Thanks everyone, I'll try to follow your advice!

[Lemonlover934]

As stated in previous posts, keep busy. And also posting in the Non-Self harm calendar makes you feel better, as it really acknowledges the fact you are doing well. I have found the best distraction is talking to people, making new friends. If you can open up to someone it could help.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk x

[Amyxoxo]

As people have said you have done what many people start to do and it is very good that you have seen the problem now you need to do some simple things now.
- When you have the urges analyze everything, everything around you, what you are feeling etc.
- probably the most hardest thing - Tell someone! Anyone it will make you feel better.
- Distract yourself.

This website will help you .. http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Cutting-Yourself

Amy xx

[delta]

I think it's going better now, didn't get the urges at all yesterday!

[piggy-wiggy]

thats good news.. (:
good luck, and just because days are tuff, doesnt mean you throw away your hard work.. keep it up.. :)

[delta]

Now they're back... :( This is bad, I don't know how long I can go on... :(

[Kaius]

Keep going, You're doing really well. Take the advice we've all given you into consideration and try to keep busy.

[delta]

Yeah... But I don't think is should be this bad after cutting for just two weeks...

[Kaius]

It can be. Cutting is like a drug, it only takes one taste to get hooked on it. You've just got to know how to handle it

[delta]

The urges came back earlier today, the worst they have ever been. Luckily I was in class, so I managed to fight them until they went away. Now I just hope they won't come back as strong when there's no one to stop me :(

[delta]

I lasted one week. I'm pathetic! :mad:

[Sith Lord 13]

I lasted one week. I'm pathetic! :mad:

No man, you're not. You're fighting a war with yourself. You just have to keep fighting. One week is a large accomplishment. You've made progress. Just keep believing you can do it and you will.

[delta]

No man, you're not. You're fighting a war with yourself. You just have to keep fighting. One week is a large accomplishment. You've made progress. Just keep believing you can do it and you will.Thanks. It's just that it's so hard... But I'll try even harder from now on!

[Nickk XD]

A lot of times people do not cut because of depression. In your statement you didn't necessarily seem depressed. A lot of people cut because they are bored. They need something to do. Boredom can lead to depression.

Depression is caused when chemicals in the brain, like Serotonin, are absorbed too quickly and then none are left. When this happens you're depressed. Serotonin is a "pleasure chemical". Dopamine is also another common pleasure chemical. ALL forms of depression are caused by the lack of some type of pleasure chemical (if not more than one). If you're able to create more of the chemicals, any depression you may have would go away...and so would the cutting. You can create brain chemicals NATURALLY. Eating good food can sometimes help...but the one way that ALWAYS HELPS is physical activity (like exercise). It creates a lot of dopamine and in some cases it'll create Serotonin. Exercise actually can create a similar feeling of well being like Methamphetamine. Except meth makes you act crazy and go go go and exercise just gives you a feeling of well being.

Try and go for a run. It'll distract you and if you are depressed it will lower the depression.

[delta]

You're right, I didn't start cutting because of depression. I was bored and curious. And I had no idea how easy it is to get addicted.

[Fiction]

One week isn't pathetic. One week is the longest i've gone since i started and that was only once. Every time i try now i seem to last less than a day :S So a week isn't pathetic. You can already be addicted, i was after 2 weeks. Try to stop now because it does only get worse!
pm if you ever need to talk :)

[delta]

I've been thinking about this...

Whenever I've cut, I've always stopped before it got too bad. Now, if the urges keep getting worse, I'm not sure I'd be able to stop before I cut too much/deep. And the urges seem to get worse the longer I go without cutting. So, maybe it might be safer to keep cutting, but not too much?

Or is that just my addiction trying to convince me to cut again?

[kidkizzet]

I know the urges get worse the longer you go without cutting but don't resort back to cutting. It's a lot better not to cut. If you try to keep yourself busy then maybe you won't get the urges as often.

[delta]

But I will probably not be able to stay 100 % clean anyway, even if I try to stop completely. What I mean is, the stronger the urge is, the more dangerous a slip would be. I might accidentally cut too deep, and I don't want that. Last time I cut, when I held the blade, I decided to make just one cut to stop the urges. I made three. If the urges had been worse, I don't know how many I would make or how deep I would go. It's just that this worries me. :(

[delta]

I'm so pathetic. I couldn't even tell my mom about my cutting, even though I tried twice yesterday. :mad:

[Baluba]

Why did you begin to cut yourself? I think knowing the answer to that makes it a lot easier, both for you to understand and for us to help.

Also try finding something that makes you happy, no matter what. I usually listen to some of my favorite music when I feel the urge to hurt myself. Believe it or not, but I think it helps. You know yourself best, and you're the only one who can make yourself happy. So do it! You have every right in the world to have fun and enjoy life.

I also think you should seek help if it gets worse - but be careful! I have had some really awful experiences when it comes to telling people. Make sure the person you tell won't judge you or be mean to you, and of course you have to be able to trust him/her. Good Luck!

[delta]

Why did you begin to cut yourself? I think knowing the answer to that makes it a lot easier, both for you to understand and for us to help.This:I didn't start cutting because of depression. I was bored and curious. And I had no idea how easy it is to get addicted.

Also try finding something that makes you happy, no matter what. I usually listen to some of my favorite music when I feel the urge to hurt myself. Believe it or not, but I think it helps. You know yourself best, and you're the only one who can make yourself happy. So do it! You have every right in the world to have fun and enjoy life.My favorite music is dark and depressing metal. That doesn't help.

I also think you should seek help if it gets worse - but be careful! I have had some really awful experiences when it comes to telling people. Make sure the person you tell won't judge you or be mean to you, and of course you have to be able to trust him/her. Good Luck!I can't gather enough courage to actually tell anyone.

[kidkizzet]

I can't gather enough courage to actually tell anyone.

Maybe you don't have to tell anyone. It would be a good idea to tell someone and try to get some help, but it's not that simple as you know. If you can get through this without help, then that's great

[delta]

If you can get through this without help, then that's greatAs I've already written in the Non Self Harm Calendar, I now think I can actually do this. Urges have become weaker and less frequent the last few days. However, it's not exactly easy to hide the still quite visible scars on my wrist... Someone will notice sooner or later, and I don't want that label on me...

[kidkizzet]

I'm glad you think you can do this. It's important to believe in yourself and I'll tell you that I also believe you can do this. It's good that the urges have become weaker and less frequent, I found the same thing. I know it's not easy to hide the scars but if you don't want anyone finding out then you will have to try your hardest to make sure no one sees them.

[delta]

The urges are back. And I'm home alone. This could be dangerous. :(

[Sith Lord 13]

You can do it. Be strong. You don't have to give in.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

try and distract yourself away from that, i know its not easy, strike up a conversation with people online or go out meet your friends...anything that'll stop you from doing it. Or play a game that needs alot of concentration. I've seen someone say that they put a limit on themselves and say if i can lsat 15mins i'll do it then, but when the 15 mins are up, add another 15 on.. it might help...ive never tried it personally though.

and i think your strong enough not too... your definitly stronger than me, i cant even go a couple of days without cutting :(

if you want to chat about anything message me and i'll chat with you :)

i have no idea if this'll help but i hope it does :) x

[delta]

I'm trying, and I'm chatting with some friends. I think I can survive this.

But the urges are still there :(

[LoveMe_HateMe]

don't give in, your strong, think about how proud you'll be knowing that you over came these urges :)

[delta]

don't give in, your strong, think about how proud you'll be knowing that you over came these urges :)I know... But I'm also thinking of how much easier it will be to just give in... :(

[LoveMe_HateMe]

i know short term it'll be easier but think long term, you dont want to look at yourself and all you see is scars/cuts and regret doing them. Try not to, and i know its easier said than done but dont give in. i know i'm probably not helping that much am i? :/

[delta]

i know short term it'll be easier but think long term, you dont want to look at yourself and all you see is scars/cuts and regret doing them. Try not to, and i know its easier said than done but dont give in. i know i'm probably not helping that much am i? :/Well, I already know all that. I already have scars to look at, and I do regret it. But at the same time, I want to cut again, even if it means making more... :(

I know I shouldn't, and I try to resist. Now I have made it past two weeks, and I don't want that to go to waste either!

[LoveMe_HateMe]

i should probably start taking my own advice >.>

i actually cant think of anything to say...well apart from stuff you've probably already heard a million times :/ sorry :( i suck at giving advice :/

[delta]

i should probably start taking my own advice >.>That's probably a good idea ;)

i actually cant think of anything to say...well apart from stuff you've probably already heard a million times :/ sorry :( i suck at giving advice :/Just the fact that you even try is encouraging! Thank you! :)

[delta]

Now I'm really, really scared. :(

As I wrote in the SH Calendar, I cut again yesterday. Then a few hours later, I was sitting on the couch, reading for today's test, my mom working at a nearby table, facing me, when I noticed a cut had reopened and was bleeding! I told her I had to go to the toilet. I was really lucky she didn't see anything, it was so close! :(