just registered

[Keats]

errr, hey.
my names will.
i've been feeling like this for just over a year.
i've been cutting and burning for almost the same amount of time.
i just don't know what to do.
i'm lost. alone and uncared for.
please help me.

[nick]

Hi Will, welcome to VT.

Have you told anyone about this, parents? school councellor? Really the best thing you can do is to try and get some professional help, talk to your GP first and they can refer you for councelling.

I'm sure you will make some friends on here who you can talk to and may help you feel less alone. There are a lot of good people here who do care and will want to help, but professional help is always going to be better.

[Keats]

i was in councelling, but i chose not to go back, because they were intent on talking to my parents.
and i know you'll say that they need to know, but i don't want them to,
they'll think i'm weak, they won't look at me the same way ever again.
i'm fucked in the summer though.
at school we have to wear short sleeves.

[nick]

Well depending how bad the marks are the chances of you managing to keep this secret from your parents are slim, so in my opinion its better to be honest with them, either by talking to them yourself or with the help of a counsellor, rather than just having them find out some other way. If they know that you are trying to get help that will make it easier for them to accept. They are your parents, they are not going to stop loving you over it, they would just want to make sure you are getting the help and support that you need.

[Keats]

theres about 30 purple lines on my arm.
is there anyway to reduce scarring?
and does the school have the right to make us wear short sleeves?
what if i spoke to the councellor at school?
how much cutting is too much cutting?

[Obscene Eyedeas]

theres about 30 purple lines on my arm.
is there anyway to reduce scarring?
and does the school have the right to make us wear short sleeves?
what if i spoke to the councellor at school?
how much cutting is too much cutting?

Use biooil or aloe vera to reduce scarring but it takes a long time.

The school sadly does have that right.

A councillor at school is a good first step for you to take from here it could really help you. Talking to someone is always helpful even if its only to vent.

Any cutting is too much hun.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

[Keats]

how long is a long time?
i meant before it becomes a serious health issue, with bloodloss and whatnot.
thanks :)

[Amyxoxo]

Blood loss doesn't effect you as your body produces quite a lot of blood if you lose any. Just drink a lot of water :)
Be careful about the things that you use to cut, do not use the same blade more than once because infection is a very big risk.
Also where you cut, arm isn't so bad but wrists and chest is risky.
Amy x

[Harley Quinn]

Tbh, any cutting is a health risk. But that may be my own opinion.

is there anyway to reduce scarring? don't pick the scabs, bio-oil, aloe vera, tea bags (yes, it works)
does the school have the right to make us wear short sleeves? technically..no, but if it's what's required in the uniform then yes, put you can wear long sleeves underneath shirts
what if i spoke to the councellor at school? it would help, they talk to you and will only tell your parents if your at risk of suicide/extreme danger from self harm. Talk to them, they do help. It's their jobs after all.
how much cutting is too much cutting? as soon as you make that first cut, that's when it's too much cutting.
how long is a long time? That can vary depending on the person, but to me..at least a month or so. Weeks isn't enough..
i meant before it becomes a serious health issue, with bloodloss and whatnot. there's always a health issue, depends what you use, how clean it is, whether you bleed a lot, many factors affect that.


What can you do? Look at the sticky at the top of the forum, it has many tips and distractions for your own use. Talking to people when ever you feel the urge. Scream. Swear. Run. Punch a pillow/punchbag. Blast music. Cook, bake, make a cake. I'm here if you need to talk, just like many people here. :)

[Keats]

thanks :),
i'll get on the tea bags right now,
wet them and rub the leaves into the scars?
i can't pm yet, but add me on msn?

Email removed - Night
put it on your profile :)

[Harley Quinn]

That's what I've done, it fades them.
Just rub it onto the skin and see what happens.

[Keats]

kay, i'll try it now.
thanks :)

[Amyxoxo]

what if i spoke to the councellor at school? it would help, they talk to you and will only tell your parents if your at risk of suicide/extreme danger from self harm. Talk to them, they do help. It's their jobs after all.

Wrong ( well in the UK anyways.)
I told to school about my self harm and they had to tell someone because they would feel very horrid if you went home and cut to deep and were in hospital.

[Harley Quinn]

Wrong ( well in the UK anyways.)
I told to school about my self harm and they had to tell someone because they would feel very horrid if you went home and cut to deep and were in hospital.

i am in the UK, i have a councillor in school, she hasn't told. She's only told my head of year and those teachers that actually matter, it all depends on who you talk to really. Most of the time they'll only tell if you are at danger.

[Amyxoxo]

oh great ...
I will go and speak to her when we go back ¬_¬

[Harley Quinn]

i'm around if you need to talk about anything.

[Keats]

thanks, everyone.
i can't pm non-mods yet.
i'll be sure to pm once i can.

[Harley Quinn]

You can now :P
you have your 25 posts

[Keats]

i know :D
i feel so powerfull :)

[Keats]

as i sit here in my dark room with tears making lines on my face i'm wondering whats its like to be truly happy. i can't remember the last time i laughed or smiled. i've loved and lost more times than i can count and have driven away more people than i know. my grades at school are terrible my sleep patterns are all over the place my mind feels like it hates me. i tell myself things are going to get better. but they never do. my parents divorsed partially because of me. they even told me that to my face. i have 2 sisters and my dad had a point of telling me that neither of them were like this. i get bullied mercilessly untill i snap and lash out, im not small and when i lash out it hurts. i sent someone to the hospital after knocking him unconscious with a chair. i tell myself im going to change but i never do. no-one else i know surfs a depression forum telling his worthless story to anyone who'll listen, while crying and cutting or burning himself. why is it that no-one understands whats going on in my head or cares. don't start telling me that things are going to get better, they wont, they never do. dont tell me people will miss me when i take my life they wont. now i ask you this, do you really think that its worth me living in this much pain? really think about it. if you can give me one good reason not too then i promise to you that i'll never do it. but until then these thoughts stay in my head and ever more tempting