Torn Apart

[screamtobeheard]

I feel like I'm being slowly torn apart. Piece by piece. My mother's just killing me. Without even knowing it. All the time, I'm getting lectured on how I need to go to college local. I'm only in the fucking tenth grade. But I know if I stay local, I'm gonna end up living the life she wants for me. Which is certain hell. I can't stay here my entire life. I can't work for the government. I'm a hundred percent sure if i do I'll end up being committed at some point. But that doesn't matter. All that matters is that I have enough money to pay the bills and my parents' retirement. I know I'm young. But I know what I'm supposed to do with my life. I know I can't live here forever. Because I don't want to hate my life forever. But she's so adamant about me staying local. And living the life she has planned for me, it's practically torturing me. Today, I cried harder than I have in a long, long time. And if she keeps doing this to me I'm going to just give in and accept that my life will always be hell. I can only take so much, and she's trying to take away half my reason to live. There's only a little piece of me hanging on. I can only stay dangling from this cliff for so much longer.

[CuriousDestruction]

Hey, calm down, breathe. first, i give you hugs. *hugs*. 2nd, don't listen to your parents about where you go to college in that respect. you have the right to choose. Also, like you said, 10th grade. don't worry about college til late 11th grade. for now, keep your grades up, and live a little. PM me if you wanna talk.

[Aspiringanonymous]

I know the feeling :hug3: Unfortunately, while you may not be able to change her opinion on the matter, don't forget that you are able to choose for yourself after all. Apply to places that you are interested in going to when the time comes, and continue with the application process whether or not she seems to be comfortable with the idea. Honestly, you don't even have to tell her at first, if her reaction will be one that is too unbearable for you.

Luckily, there is still time, and anything could happen between now and your senior year. Perhaps, by then, circumstances will have changed - you never know.

Keep your head up, there is hope yet. Good luck with everything.

[piggy-wiggy]

i agree with above, i have had similar experiances, and im still in that type of situation..

i just ignored my mom. i had to.. by the sounds of it, i think you could do with ignoring her too..
and, hey, you still have a good while to choose, you may change your mind.. or not..
but for the moment, if things get too much with your mom, just pm anyone on here for a chat.. :) including me (: