Confused.

[Wish]

I'm actually ridiculously nervous about posting this.

Struggling with self-harm at the moment, though that isn't directly the problem. I just seem to be losing control with what I am doing because I am not really 'me' when I am hurting myself. It worries me because I am no longer sure what I am capable of doing. It's really scary.

How am I supposed to keep on track with revision and everything else when I just feel like this? Everything is so bottled up and such a mess. I'm not even sure what I want from this post, I guess it is more of a cry for help.

[karl]

Well, I'm certainly no expert on your problem, but you've come to a good place to ask for help. There'll be loads of guys and gals ready to help you. You'll see. And you won't have to wait long.

[KChiChi]

shoot... same here. though, i've never gone as far as self harm because i'm scared of blade -besides having a basic phobia of blood -but i have done stuff that i'm not proud of. just... try, try, TRY not.. not being yourself. if that makes sense. try to distract yourself from turning off into that person who cuts themselves... i'm not helpful. here for support, though... if you need anyone to talk to that is.

:P

[georgiamay]

have you been to see a professional? if not, then maybe they can help you. maybe whenever you feel like you want to hurt yourself, do something creative. like write it all down, draw something, or you can just call a friend that you know won't judge you, and just vent to them. if they really are your friends they will understand.

i know what you mean about not being you when you self harm, i've been there :whoops: The best thing to do is to just let out your emotion before you become overwhelmed and change to this other person like you said. If you never let it all get bottled up. If you do, then you will become overwhelmed, and then you might change to this other you. If you let it out, piece by piece, then sooner or later, you won't need to hurt yourself.
hope i helped :)

[Wish]

Thanks for all the helpful replies :)

I did see a professional but then got a letter through the post yesterday saying that they couldn't fit me in and didn't have the time for me. They practically gave up on me anyway and my counsellor was ill all the time. I guess I didn't have such a good experience. People keep saying 'go to your GP' but I'm really scared to do that right now.

Writing is a passion of mine and I love to do it. It compensates for self-harm as the coping mechanism but not the punishment. There is nothing that I can do to myself to stop the need for pain. My friends are getting sick of me and I'm terrified of letting them in on the true picture anyway, for fear of hurting them.

And Arafa, it does make sense. I'll try not being the person I am when I cut, it's just they're not actually me but a different person entirely. I'm really glad that you haven't gone as far as to self-harm, please stay that way.

Thanks again for the quick replies. x

[Amyxoxo]

Ok well I am excatly in the same situation as you (well were??? I think)
I didnt want to hurt my friends but really it is/was enevitable and I am sorta glad that they found out.
Tell a friend, a close one that will keep your secrets. They will help you ... I promise!
They may be shocked at first, but lets face it, who wouldnt be?
Just give them time to get over it then they will do their best.
I suggest telling them on a friday so they can think about what to say to you and you can also do the same.
They probally couldnt see you because they may think that you are better or are not as bad as some other people, however I think that it is really bad for them to do that and unfair as well.
Good luck and PM me when ever :) xx

[munchausen]

have you been to see a professional? if not, then maybe they can help you.

Just to add to this, when it comes to seeing professionals there are some you just wont click with. You may have to go to see two three or maybe even more before you find the one that can help you most if even at all. I went to see one therapist who was extremely unpleasant when I had trouble admitting one of the reasons for my self harm, (bearing in ind it took ten years for me to work up the guts to tell someone I actually knew quite well.) He told me to, "man up and stop being such a baby about it." call me crazy but that isn't normal psychologist etiquette.

[HeroesAndCons]

If you ever wana talk pm me and ill try to help you X3

[Wish]

Thanks. I had a very bad night last night and kept waking up because I was in pain.
I might consider going back to the doctor and ringing for an appointment today because that is/was agony and I am a little worried about the whole thing.