struggling :/

[georgiamay]

it's my 26th day without self harming (yes, i stopped on self harm awareness day :P) and i really am struggling. i haven't given in, but i can't cope at the moment, and i keep remembering the small moments release i used to have whenever i cut or burnt or whatever i did. i know this sounds stupid, because i'm not suicidal at all, but i just want everything to end. i want to destroy myself. whenever i hurt myself it used to feel good, and sometimes it felt like i deserved the pain.

i dont want to start self harming again, but i keep looking at heavy and sharp objects. this morning, i actually turned my straightners on, specifically to burn my arm. it takes about 10 seconds to warm up, and my dad happened to walk into the room in those 10 seconds and made me go downstairs for a minute. i got pulled out of that one, but i'm scared i might not be so lucky next time. i cant tell anyone about it, because it's been 2 years since they think i did it, and they'll never trust me again...

i suppose really, i need some help :(

[Kaius]

If you want someone to talk to about it, feel free to pm me. I've been through the same thing before, and I'm still struggling on and off now. The best thing to do is try to cut down, by first turning to an alternative such as the elastic band trick. Is there anyone you can talk to that you trust?

[georgiamay]

If you want someone to talk to about it, feel free to pm me. I've been through the same thing before, and I'm still struggling on and off now. The best thing to do is try to cut down, by first turning to an alternative such as the elastic band trick. Is there anyone you can talk to that you trust?

Thank you desolation :)
not with this kind of thing... most of my "friends" are pretty narrow minded about this. they've already labelled me as an attention seeker because of the last time i self harmed.
the elastic band trick does really help, but sometimes it really isn't enough, i mean, i want to feel more. i know that sounds really bad :/
maybe i'll keep going with the elastic band trick until the urges go, and i'll try and find an alternative. i'm just scared because last time i wouldn't even realise i'd done it until i looked down and saw the blood, and i really don't want that to happen again :/

[Kaius]

Have you tried distraction methods? I find when i keep my hands busy the urges are kept at bay. Usually to do this I'll sit there and tear up paper. Yes, its meaningless but it really can help.

[pixie1234]

i know how you feel about being alone and not able to tell, for me its only been 3months since they think i last cut and yes some people have labled me as attention seeker, but you just gotta say to them "look i dont need your judgements, im not attention seeking and i would appriciate it if you, being my friend would understand!" the person who first labled me attention seeker i yelled that more or less at and guess what, she never called me it again, we arent best mates anymore but she doesnt judge me.

its really hard stopping. try all the good distracting tips that people think help.

good luck really hope you get out of theis and reach it, you done brill so far :) xx

[Brayden]

What is it that makes you cut? Does something specific trigger the urge?

[georgiamay]

What is it that makes you cut? Does something specific trigger the urge?

nothing specific... a lot of things trigger the urges, and none of them can be fixed, so there really isn't any point trying to fix them. When i'm older and i leave school/home, it will be better then.

[Lemonlover934]

You are doing really well, and surely it shows you how strong you are. Its natural that you still have urges to hurt yourself. But just try and stay strong.
And the people who labelled you an attention seeker don't deserve you, but do this for yourself, for you to be better.
You can PM me whenever. xx