Is she just looking for attention or is she crying for help?

[TaintedBlood]

My friend wears short sleeves to school even with the scars on her wrists. She says she doesn't care if people are seeing the scars and cuts.

It is not like she is showing it off to everyone. She does what she can to not let people see but people have seen the scars when she walks down the hallway and when she is in PE (our uniforms require us to have short sleeves, no matter what)

When people come up to her and ask how she got her cuts, she just shrugs and says "I cut myself, that is all you need to know" and she gets up and walks away.

Her reason for not wearing long sleeves/bracelets is: "What is the point of hiding the scars? Everyone is going to eventually find out."


Do you believe that she is looking for attention or is she crying out for help?

[Aspiringanonymous]

Why don't you ask her if she's seeking any treatment for it right now? Are you familiar with any issues which may have led to the cutting? - Ask her why she's doing it.

I have certainly spoken to others in the past who choose to be this way, as a gesture of embracing one's experience as a self-harmer - an important step to recovery is learning to no longer feel ashamed of it - and for some people, the most effective approach just happens to be an unconventional one.

Honestly, at the end of the day, what she does with her body is her own business. However, as a caring friend, you are certainly able to ask questions and express your view honestly.

[ShatteredWings]

With scars, it might just not bother her. I rarely hide scars anymore, and most of them are rather obvous [I don't want to try to get rid of them until I'm sure i can trust myself not to cut anymore]

She does what she can to not let people see but people have seen the scars when she walks down the hallway
Makes me think shes not looking for attention. if she was, she'd probably be flaunting it, and telling everyone who talks to her at all.

For futher ideas on how to talk to her, see post above :)

[Brayden]

While it may seem apparent that she's seeking attention by making her cutting so blatant, it may be that she's belittling her obvious issues. Playing them down, so to speak. It also says a lot that no one (other than you) has yet to confront her about it, which can only make her feel worse. I suspect you talk to her about and see what's going on.

How old are the scars? Are the fresh, scabbed? if they are I'd recommend seeking IMMEDIATE help, from the school guidance counselour, parents, whatever. If they're old and faded I wouldn't make a big deal out of them. She may have moved past that part of her life, and constantly reminding her about it isn't doing much good.

[georgiamay]

mmm... i dont think she's looking for attention. most people don't do it for attention, but the people that do are REALLY obvious. there was a girl in my art class 2 years ago, who would go round and say "did you know i cut myself" and then sit on her chair and scratch her arm with her ruler. i wanted to slap this girl so much because of this, because i was self harming at that stage, and people already had a bad opinion of people that do that, and she just went and made it 10 times worse. She's the kind of people that bring self harming a really horrible connotation.

It seems like your friend just doesn't seem to care if people know, but she's not looking for attention. if she was, she'd be doing the stuff that that other girl did :mad:

try and talk to her about it aswell. ask her why she does it, and try and get her to get help with this.

[aleexax3]

maybe she doesnt care about showing them and show her innerself and what she does

[ShatteredWings]

How old are the scars? Are the fresh, scabbed?
fresh scars would be scars that are still pink or pealing slightly.
Not open cuts.

[Brayden]

;829615']fresh scars would be scars that are still pink or pealing slightly.
Not open cuts.


Scars that are scabbed over aren't exactly old.

[ShatteredWings]

Scars aren't scabbed over. at that point it's still a cut, and still can heal without a scar under the right conditions

[Brayden]

;829620']Scars aren't scabbed over. at that point it's still a cut, and still can heal without a scar under the right conditions

True, I wasn't entirely sure as to what the OP meant. If it's scarred, aggravated; then yes report it to somebody. If it's healed over and all that's left is a scar then it's obvious she's not visibly cutting anymore.

[Asylum]

well... she could be just over cutting, and its srt of like battle wounds it shows what you went through in yoru life and how you got over all of it... i know some people who look at it like that, i don't i'm embarrased by mine so i use make up to cover thm..

[Antonioc]

I don't think she's showing them off, it just sounds like she doesn't care what people think of her. Last week, I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday in short sleeve shirts... and I got lots of "What the HELL happened to your arms" comments, but it was nice out, so I was enjoying the weather. I don't care what they say, and maybe your friend doesn't either.

[MyNameIsJack]

Yes, in my opinion I think that she might be looking for attention. I'd not recommend to ask her if she is trying to do that. But you should tell her what you think about it.

[HeroesAndCons]

ask her why is she cutting herself...
and if u can help her help her
if she needs help tell her to get some'
good luck!!!!

[Amyxoxo]

I try to hide my cuts and scars when ever possible however we do have to wear short sleeves for PE so eventually it is inevitable.
I know why you would be thinking like that however it is reasonable for her to just to be embracing it.
Talk to her though, she why she doesn't care so much.
:) x

[1_21Guns]

Maybe she's just comfortable with the scars, and doesn't see the point in hiding them.
I think if she was doing it for attention she'd be making a far bigger deal out of it when someone asks her.
Maybe she's just hoping someone will ask abit more than how'd you do that?
maybe just ask how she is or something.
but who knows.
self harm has a lot of bad rep for being for attention from those who have never done it and don't understand it. so yah.