Ugh.

[screamtobeheard]

And here we go. I had probably about two weeks in a relatively decent mood. But now it's gone and I'm spiraling back toward what I'd call depression but probably isn't. So I'll be having loads of fun always being even more tired than usual but getting less/worse sleep. Back to cutting. Back to strange eating patterns. Back to hating myself and my life. Back to worrying and being scared. Back to everything. Not that it really ever completely goes away, but it kind of recessed for awhile. And I also seem to have a headache all the time now too. That's a new twist. =P Sorry for the mild rant...

[Aspiringanonymous]

No need to apologize for ranting, that's what this place is for. :)

Yes, what goes up must come down - but what comes down, will eventually rise up again. Everything in nature, including states of being, are constantly changing and taking on new forms. And every experience that we have ever encountered, becomes a part of who we are - in that sense, nothing ever completely goes away. However, as one is distanced from the source of an experience through time and change, its power diminishes, perhaps even to a point where it can finally be left undisturbed somewhere down memory lane.

Perhaps it may seem now that no real progress was made during these two weeks, but that is far from true. Though it may not have lasted long, for a period of time you were given space to breathe in fresh air and break free from the trap which depression imposes upon the consciousness - at the very least, it is a confirmation that a new life is possible.

Hold on to what remains of the experience, for there are many more opportunities ahead. Do not be discouraged - it is through our falls that we will learn how to stand strong and tall.

May you find strength and empowerment.

[screamtobeheard]

That makes me feel a lot less like a failure. Thank you for that.

[Fiction]

I know exactly how you feel i get this alot too. Instead of focusing on the fact you are on a downwards spiral now, focus on the fact that you have your next high to look forward too :)

[screamtobeheard]

that's a new way of thinking about it.