My beautiful baby girl Helen...

[BeautifulDisaster]

In 2008, I began to "trial" date a girl named Helen.

She's so beautiful, so wonderful, caring, loving, selfless & so fun to be with.

She is so lovely to me.

She does have Severe Bulimia, Depression, Self Harm & Anxiety, but I don't mind about that, I've severe & complex MH problems too, so I really don't mind, but it does, obviously, cause problems, for the both of us.
But I don't mind helping/supporting her, she needs & wants & deserves it.

I loved & still do love her with all my heart.

I feel warm with her.

The trial didn't go so well, & back then, I was very confused about how I felt, so we didn't pursue the relationship any further.

A few months later, we had a big falling out, & we've only JUST started talking again.

Like, a few days ago.

We got back together again today...
She's coming to stay over at mine for the weekend at the beginning of next month too. (So happy about this!!!)

I'm 80% sure I love her, true love.

But, that other 20% is very unsure, uncertain & insecure.
I'm not entirely sure if it is love or not, but I know that with her, the pain inside is less, I forget about the bad shit, & I smile, & laugh, & I feel warm inside, & I feel happy with her, & I feel like I love her so much inside, & she's so amazing to me...

I am bisexual, & I do have a lot of crushes on both males & females, but with Helen, I love her. I don't just have a crush on her. I think I really do love her.

But how do you know if you truly love someone?

I feel like it's fake, or like I don't love her that much, I'm still confused about how I feel.

I'm never good at identifying how I feel, so this makes it more difficult.

We are together now though, & I feel content with that fact, I feel content with her, I love her a lot, but I just feel pretty insecure about things right now.

Any advice?

Or maybe just some support?

And, an answer to my question would be nice too.

Thanks for reading.

[Scarface]

you have the symptoms of true love. All the confusion and insecurities and fear, but deep compassion for her. I believe you should follow your heart if you believe that Helen is your true love pursue it because if you don't in the future you could have the deadly "what if's" and you want to make sure you do what you think is right. If you want to talk more I'm always here to talk i hope this helps PM me anytime

[BeautifulDisaster]

Hey Ronnie.

Thank you, I am following my heart, & I am so glad that we are together, I really hope that I feel like this is 100% true love & these insecurities go away very soon.

Thank you for the offer & it does help.

[Scarface]

your very welcome hun that's why I;m here ill help you anytime you need it

[Art_dude]

Why do you feel the need to know if it's true love ?

If you really feel that insecure in knowing whether or not it's real, you're not going to learn it from us. We don't know you, only you do. And Helen of course.

I say, enjoy your time back together, and don't worry yourself with huge questions about your commitment to her, your love for her etc. When you do find someone you feel you connect with on a deeply spiritual level (which I think you have) why analyze it? My advice is to spend the time with her you have, enjoy each other's company and see how you feel if and when she leaves. Only time will tell whether this is persistent or not. I'm not saying your nit-picking this apart, but trust me (from personal experience) it can lead to that if you continue to ask yourself what you feel. Intellectualizing it will not help. Be content with who you're with and leave it at that. It will make your time together all the more special. If it's really love, you'll know. Hope that helps.

[TakeMyHand]

Yay Aimee! I'm so happy for you, this really makes my day to hear you so happy! :)

Now, your doubt sounds normal. I wouldn't worry about it. Of course, I've never been in love before, but I thought I was once, and while that might not sound so reassuring, it was different for me because I didn't know the girl as well as I thought I did. I realized it was all just in my head, I loved her for things I assumed about her based on how I saw her act around other people and her interests and stuff, but I never really knew her that well in person, we only spoke about 6 times and only for up to an hour each time, so it wasn't true love.

This is different, it sounds like you two really do know each other, you laugh and spend time together and have mutual feelings for each other (not one-way like me). There's no reason for you to worry, this is your shot at true happiness, don't overthink it or it could mess things up. Just go with it.

Wow, this has brightened my day so much! I feel like there's hope for me too now. I'm not sure who with, lol, but there's got to be someone out there! This, this really helps me to hear this! I'll pray for you and Helen to be happy together!

[ShatteredWings]

I thought I knew who you were.. Sorry, don't expect two similar sites to not have a few member overlaps :P


Anyway, if you don't mind, why did you two fall out? If you don't want to talk about it that's fine.
But almost any two people will fight. Regardless of situations.

You know you love someone ... when they're the only person you REALLY want to be with. I don't mean obsession have to know their every move, but you want to spend your time with them.
When you honestly want to know how they've been.
Your words
the pain inside is less, I forget about the bad shit, & I smile, & laugh, & I feel warm inside, & I feel happy with her
Sounds a lot like love to me. there really aren't many people who can cause those kinds of feelings. When you meat the person who does, you know it.
And I think you do.

Sometimes worry can cause doubts...

[2D]

If she makes you happy then that's all that matters in my mind.

Just so long as that happiness is not a superficial happiness.

[Sapphire]

My two cents are: By the sounds of it, she helps you amidst a host of difficulties - if you are unsure as to whether you love her, the chances are that you are labeling your affection and feelings of comfort too soon.

Let time pass and enjoy each other. Allow your feelings to become clearer with time before rushing to anything.

[BeautifulDisaster]

I don't think it's too soon, I just think we've been holding in our affection for one another for too long and it's all coming out, we're staying together, I just am not good with knowing if it's love love or if it's friend love. I can't really help wondering about it and thinking about it.

Neways, thanks, & cya.

[ShatteredWings]

There's a feature on the forum to ignore a user if their posts irritate you it's in the user CP. I only mention it because you two just don't seem to get along well.

But ultimately, no one can tell you if you love someone.

[BeautifulDisaster]

You mean me & Sapphire don't get along well?
I tried to put her on my ignore list but I'm not able to.


&& I know no one can, but I can't help thinking about these things.
I just wanted a place to rant about it & maybe get some insight, support etc.

[ShatteredWings]

Crap. Diary owner. I forgot about that. I'd PM you if your profile alloued it. Unless you don't mind me using ryl for a messenger.


But i don't think there's anything 'wrong' so much about being confused. You're still human, and I'm thinking the situation's a little more complicated than your making it out to be.
People get confused, easily. don't worry about the 'what ifs' in the relationship

[Sapphire]

*shrugs* All I did was give my two cents.

[kyle95]

Love is like a narcotic, its addictive, you enjoy being in the 'state'. But don't try to rationalise love, it doesn't make sense. Enjoy the ride, if you over analyse, you'll miss the scenery :)

[Sapphire]

Love is like a narcotic, its addictive, you enjoy being in the 'state'. But don't try to rationalise love, it doesn't make sense. Enjoy the ride, if you over analyse, you'll miss the scenery :)
This is what I was saying.
Just enjoy each other and worry about where it will go later on.

[Art_dude]

This is what I was saying.
Just enjoy each other and worry about where it will go later on.

That's also what I was saying XD I'm not a big label fan - when you try to label your relationship with any type of label, whether it be 'love' or anything else for that matter, you start to lose sight of the relationship itself. Enjoy whatever this feeling is. Love or not.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Like I said, I can't help thinking about it.
Just because I think about it doesn't mean I'm not happy.
I'm curious and confused jeez.

[MyNameIsJack]

YOU INSPIRE ME, it's so beautiful :)

[BeautifulDisaster]

Thank you.

Since this post, we've met & we had the most amazing time together.

We're meeting again in 11 days.

We've now been together for 1 month, 1 week & 2 days.

I think I really do love her.

She's so amazing to me.

I have pictures of us in my avatar, profile pic & signature.

& about 200 others on Facebook, heh.

xx

[flutterflyofoz]

It sounds like you to are having a great love affair. I think that's wonderful.
Now, I am totally projecting my own issue but I am going to say it anyways.
Make sure that she feels the same way you do. If this is all intense and consuming on your side and she does not have that commitment to the relationship, you might want to slow it down. Think about the little things you do for her. Does she think about doing them for you? if so, you have an amazing connection. If she doesn't you might have to discuss this with her. But again I say I am projecting cuz the woman I love does not feel as strongly as I do-and some times that really hurts.
I do agree with all the others-Life is to short to not take advantage of every opportunity for happiness. And it seems like the two of you do know Happiness.

[BeautifulDisaster]

This isn't a love affair... (not entirely sure what means though, but if it is what I think it means...)
It's a serious relationship which I think involves true love on BOTH ends.

She feels the same way I do, trust me, she even cried over me many times because she is so scared of losing me & she says she can't even put in words how much she loves me.

She takes care of me when she can, but she needs a lot of support too,which I have no problem giving, I love to make her happy an dbe there for her.

The "little things" we both do different "little things".

Sorry your woman does not love you as strongly however mine does I know for a fact she does. =)

Thankss.

I don't agree with others, but meh, whatever lol.