Help please?

[NeverLetGo]

Caution: this may turn into a rant.

Anyways, I'm 99% sure I suffer from situational depression with a tendency to be a little bipolar.

It seems that no matter what I do, I always physically (and figuratively) fall down. I have suffered from depression for 3 years now. It is not very serious, but at the same time, it happens in waves that are very violent; almost to the point that I'm physically sick and cannot stand up. And it's getting worse. I just don't know what to do.

"I don't know what to do" - what a plea. I have lost my sense of direction and am lost. Completely.

The thing is though, I have only told 1 person about my depression. As for the others, I arduously maintain a happy persona. All the time. I never show my depression to anyone. Being someone you're not is really hard and takes a lot of my energy. It's incapacitating.

My plea: Help.
I don't know what to do, how to handle it; nothing. I'm blind towards this. I'm scared. I'm confused. I'm depressed. I'm thinking about cutting. I'm worried that if I tell anyone I will be alienated. I'm mad (towards myself). I'm reckless.

Help.

[CuriousDestruction]

i recommend seeing a therapist. they are very good for dealing with depression. also, telling your closest friends and family can help. you can be more open with them and talk to them about it.

[Lemonlover934]

All depression is serious, you deserve to be happy. Maybe go see a councillor or speak to a friend you can trust and think could help you.
I really get what you mean when you say keeping up a happy aura, I do the same, and it is draining, but maybe being honest with another friend would ease the burden.
If you ever feel you want to talk feel free to PM me xx

[Asylum]

hey hun. know how you feel.... i've siad this in a few other posts, but i htink its good advice so i'm posting it here. it may seem like you are walking through a dark tunnel, but look at the end of it, there is your goal, that small light in the distance. that light is where you want to be, in the light you won't feel light harming yourself and your happy. i know it seems impossible to beleive right now... me happy?! haha... right... you must be joking.. and no, i think i'll stick to self harming thanx, i don't think i'll ever get over it... but look at that light, look at the future you feeling happy. you want to get there? well i've got a well known secret that will help you reach that light... it's getting help... i know... your parents don't knwo, or perhaps other reasons preventing you from getting there. well we are here to support you to get the help you need. just keep focusing on that light... you can get there it's not impossible, look i know it's scary asing for help, i've been right in your shoes... but it is so worth it in the end... my situation is a lot different with the whole getting help... but even though i knew my parents owuld harrass me about it, i still asked and i suffred through them makign fun of me and getting angry and everything to get the help i needed, which was 2 weeks worth... and it didn't help at all, because the lady wasn't right for me... but thats not the point... sorry for getting off topic. people do get help... to feel better, it takes time... i'm not going to lie... it's not going to be an over night change, where everything yolu see is unicorns and rainbows... soemtimes it will involve drugs... but it;'s worth it. isn't it? i mean imagine yourelf not feeling like you want to hurt yourself, or not upset... i'm am always here, PM me ANY time!! but we are all here to help you.

on the self harming note, it's never worth it... i look at my scars and i hate them... i became so addicted... i'm still recvering only a few days free of Self harming... . i'm not sure if you have self injured but since you are thinking about it, go to the self harming section of VT and look at the post please read before self harming or cutting... read it all please... it desribes it perfectly and it might turn you awway from self harming, which would be great :D but seriously hun... it took me 1 cut to get addicted... 1 would turn to 10.... 10 turne into 50... i have scars all over... summer, i can't hide them... iwish i could take them back.. but i can't, no amount of make up or scar remover will make thm go away... i know how scary and frustrating all these emotions can be, but i'm here for you. we can get you through this.

it is not normal to fall down i think for depression.... i really suggest getting help... as quickly as possilbe... please... before its too late...
i look forward on seeing a post in the future from you saying you feel better :D

[BeautifulDisaster]

See a mental health professional, don't self diagnose, get assessed & then if you do have Depression, they can treat you.