clr9823
March 15th, 2010, 04:00 PM
I've been feeling shit for about 6 months. I know that this will descend into one big rant, but I have no one I want to tell any of this; anyway I apologise in advance.
Basically, I've been feeling shit for six months. If my mind serves me correctly, this was the time when my cat died and everything seemed to hit the fan. I've had to move to my dad's house because my mum lost our car (due to being poor due to being unemployed for the past... 14 years). However, my dads a dick: everything I do isn't good enough. If I get 80% in a maths test, I should've got 90% (not joking). I don't get any say in my life under his roof: hell, I have to have an argument just to wear the clothes I want to :mad:. And if I want to even have a talk about any of these issues I better dig some fucking trenches and be prepared for a couple days of arguing. I spend 7 hours a day at school getting the best grades I possibly can, only to be told that I am lazy for not hanging up my trousers, lazy for not doing anything around the house (even though I make lots of offers that he simply fecking refuses :mad::mad:), and lazy for not doing enough revision (despite getting 97.5% in a recent physics test).
Then, I am constantly worrying about my parents. They both smoke and drink, and I can see the degrading state of their health. If I voice my concerns to my mum, she simply doesn't listen. If I mention it to my dad, I'm told how it's his life and how he lost his mum when he was 13 and his dad when he was 19 (yet he isn't prepared to stop for me). I'm sorry, my parents are selfish dicks. Although they drive me to distraction, I love them and I want them to live :(.
This is on top of my school life. Although it is the best part of my day, it still has its usual problems and on top of these my main exams are in... 1 and a half months. And then there are the dicks at school (lets just say that if I had access to some sort of firearm they would no longer be with us).
The only time I am happy is when I am on my own. No friends, no family, no nothing. Just me, my thoughts and if I'm lucky my iPod. If I had anywhere else to go, I would immediately say bye-bye to my parents, burn the bridge and cut the fucking boat in half.
The worst thing: there's nobody I can talk to about any of this. I keep my life in 3 distinct areas: School, Friends, Family. No area knows anything about any of the other areas. People might think that this is stupid and I should talk, but nobody can help with any of my problems, and I don't want to tell people just to receive some pity.
Well, if you've read down to here; thanks :).
What do I do???:(
Basically, I've been feeling shit for six months. If my mind serves me correctly, this was the time when my cat died and everything seemed to hit the fan. I've had to move to my dad's house because my mum lost our car (due to being poor due to being unemployed for the past... 14 years). However, my dads a dick: everything I do isn't good enough. If I get 80% in a maths test, I should've got 90% (not joking). I don't get any say in my life under his roof: hell, I have to have an argument just to wear the clothes I want to :mad:. And if I want to even have a talk about any of these issues I better dig some fucking trenches and be prepared for a couple days of arguing. I spend 7 hours a day at school getting the best grades I possibly can, only to be told that I am lazy for not hanging up my trousers, lazy for not doing anything around the house (even though I make lots of offers that he simply fecking refuses :mad::mad:), and lazy for not doing enough revision (despite getting 97.5% in a recent physics test).
Then, I am constantly worrying about my parents. They both smoke and drink, and I can see the degrading state of their health. If I voice my concerns to my mum, she simply doesn't listen. If I mention it to my dad, I'm told how it's his life and how he lost his mum when he was 13 and his dad when he was 19 (yet he isn't prepared to stop for me). I'm sorry, my parents are selfish dicks. Although they drive me to distraction, I love them and I want them to live :(.
This is on top of my school life. Although it is the best part of my day, it still has its usual problems and on top of these my main exams are in... 1 and a half months. And then there are the dicks at school (lets just say that if I had access to some sort of firearm they would no longer be with us).
The only time I am happy is when I am on my own. No friends, no family, no nothing. Just me, my thoughts and if I'm lucky my iPod. If I had anywhere else to go, I would immediately say bye-bye to my parents, burn the bridge and cut the fucking boat in half.
The worst thing: there's nobody I can talk to about any of this. I keep my life in 3 distinct areas: School, Friends, Family. No area knows anything about any of the other areas. People might think that this is stupid and I should talk, but nobody can help with any of my problems, and I don't want to tell people just to receive some pity.
Well, if you've read down to here; thanks :).
What do I do???:(