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Cosmic
March 15th, 2010, 03:42 PM
Comments, critiques and close readings are very welcome and appreciated!

Orinoco Heart

I promised I’d never write
Again above the clouds,
About what we let fall,
Into the flowing Orinoco.

We stood there and swung,
We heaved and struggled;
Embraced and powered
Side by side with eager waters.

And then you gave up;
Split me in half and
Left.
Left me half a person,
Living half a life.

I sit here writing,
With half a heart,
Wondering where the
Rest has gone.

Where my peace is,
And why I’m not
Who you want
To grow old with.

Wondering why I am
Being dragged by my heart’s
Orinoco, through exotic
territory I want nothing from.

The only land I want, is yours.
I’m clenching onto
your promise with all my breath.
As much as one lung can muster.
A withering root; a fading wish.

My heart’s Orinoco,
Has no where to flow.
And You.
You will never complete me.

So I sink,
Stones make way for the weight.
Weeds caress the face.
And I sit, here above the clouds.

Scarface
March 15th, 2010, 03:47 PM
wow man deep... Split me in half and Left.Left me half a person,Living half a life. feeling it man keep them coming i'm impressed

TigerLily
March 15th, 2010, 04:16 PM
This is beautiful <3

Cosmic
March 15th, 2010, 09:55 PM
Thanks guys, your kind words are most appreciated. :)