cant take it anymore :/ - sorry, bit of a rant.

[georgiamay]

basically, this month i've felt like crap! i feel sad all the time, and when i'm not sad, i'm angry, and when i'm not angry or sad, i'm numb :/ i really hate it, its messing with my life. i snap at my friends and family, and just get my self in trouble in general, last month was great, i was happy all the time, and i had so much energy, and then one tiny thing got to me, and everything seemed dark, where it used to all look light and happy. everything seems crappy and depressing, and i cant change it. i normally act happy when i'm around friends, but sometimes i cant hide it, and i just snap. i dont know what to do. i dont like feeling like this. i've decided to try and get help. i'm getting councelling soon, but i cant seem to bring myself to say any of this outloud. everything that i've said on this sight has never been said outloud.

i used to see a school coucellor, but she was terrible. she blamed all of my problems on my mum, and then asked my permossion for her to talk to my mum about it. i said no, because my mum has problems, and i dont want her to hear that its all her fault. she's an alcoholic, but she doesnt drink anymore. well, she says she doesnt drink anymore, but a few months ago i found a bottle of vodka down her bag. she has bipolar aswell, and something else, i dont know. i feel like i'm turning into my mum in all the bad ways. she's an aggressive person, and that's how i'm turning out. i've tried so hard not to be aggressive, but i cant change who i am. i have tried, i just cant, i just keep snapping again and being rude. I know the counceller is going to ask me about when i used to self harm, but i find that REALLY hard to talk about outloud :/

everything about my life seems really bad at the moment. i'm not allowed to resit my science exams, because my grades weren't low enough :mad: and now it's starting to affect karate. i'm starting to slip, coz i cant be bothered anymore, but i WANT to be bothered :///

sorry i know its a rant, i just needed to get it off my chest.

[HellHound]

well im sorry your life hit a dead end.don't worry.one day you'l wake up and see that your life isn't as horrible as you think.about your mom i would chose a day when im not depresed and tell her that her drinking habit hurts you.i hope she understands and that i helped

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

"Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing it's self."
Sometimes, if we've ever feared becoming like someone, or being like something, our brain focuses on that thing so much, that we begin to mimic it. To get over things like that what we need to do is just take a step back, and know that we will never turn into someone until we let ourselves for we are our own.