Relapsing.

[BeautifulDisaster]

My mind has completely relapsed, & my behaviors are already following.

I'm on a 5 day fast, maybe longer... the rules change a lot.

Ana is my friend now.

I need to make it up to her, she's disappointed and angry, I need to be good and follow her rules and her advice, she will help me, she will be there for me, she will forgive me.

She said I'm hers, forever.

I'm so fucking confused & messed up right now.

I don't know what I want from this post.

I don't know what to do.

[TakeMyHand]

Who's Ana and what's she angry about? Why are you fasting?

[georgiamay]

Who's Ana and what's she angry about? Why are you fasting?

i'm pretty sure ana means anorexia, hence why she's fasting.

seriously, this is not the way to go, you really need to get help. please see a professional about this, and they will be able to help you. i know nothing i say will make you feel any better and probably won't help, but a phsyciatrist will know what to do. one of my closest friends went through this, and the affects it had on her life and her health were unbelievable.

please get help x

[BeautifulDisaster]

I already know the problems it can cause, I've suffered from eating disorders since I was 11.
I also already have bad health problems anyway(not directly caused by the "EDs" though.)

I don't really care anymore.

I give up.

Ana is too strong.
Ana is mad and disappointed, I need to make it up to her.

I've been seeing professionals since I was 7, so yeah, no thanks. Rather not see those shit people again.

[georgiamay]

well if you dont want to see a professional, at least try and talk to someone you feel close to. like a friend.

you dont need to go down this road. i know you might feel like you dont care, and that you just want to give up right now, but if you just talk it out with someone, you might start to feel a bit better.

i'm so sorry about your health problems by the way, i can't imagine what that must be like :( again, i know this probably hasn't helped, but if you ever need to talk, my PM box is always very welcoming if you ever need to vent to someone x

[TakeMyHand]

i'm pretty sure ana means anorexia, hence why she's fasting.


Oh, wow I can be real literal sometimes.

Anyway, Aimee, listen, you don't need to do this, like I've said, I'm here for you no matter what, you can tell me anything and I will try my best to ease the pain as best I can.

[BeautifulDisaster]

I just need to fast.
I need to get to the goal she wants me to get to.
She said she'll give me my dreams, my needs...
She'll give me them.
I owe her.
I need to make it up to her for being a bad bad bad girl.
Bad fat disgusting girl.
I need to be good now.
I need to follow the rules.
I need to be good, good, clean, pure.

[georgiamay]

i'm sorry you feel this way, i really am.

all i can say, is that i think you need to overcome her.
she does not control you. she cannot tell you what you are and what you do, only you can decide that. if she tells you to do something, she is not you. only you can decide what to do to yourself. dont get to the goal she wants you to get to, get to the goal you want to get to, whatever that may be. but whatever they are, dont let her influence you, because she is not the person that has to reach them.

I know that this is easier said than done, but please, just dont let ana get in the way of your life anymore, because it's not worth it.

i know i dont understand what you are going through, but i have seen what it ana can do to a person.

[TakeMyHand]

Bad fat disgusting girl.

No, you're a kind-hearted, skinny(too skinny, you need to put some meat on those bones!), beautiful girl.

[Asylum]

honey go talk to a counsler or a professonal it is dangerous to go on crash dieting.... you can seirously hurt yorusef... i know... i am one to talk right?... get help please...

[BeautifulDisaster]

To me it isn't a "crash diet".

And, like I've said, I've seen shit professionals since I was 7, they can't help me, they don't even want to help me.
I'm hopeless.

[cadaverous_roots]

Hey hun, I know how you're feeling. I've been struggling a lot lately with fasting and stuff. I'm totally going into relapse mode... full on strong for me right now. You're not alone <3