Parents don't accept me.

[Ardiys]

So, I'm gay.
I came out to my mom in November, and my dad in January, and I was forced to do both because they found things related to homosexuality (no, not porn) on google history and questioned me about it.

I thought they would be accepting because they have a transexual friend, but they weren't at all. They believe homosexuality is a choice and I'm gay because I choose to be, to spite them. They want me to change, they think I'm capable of change, and my mom prays for me. When I first came out to her, she cried for 4 days straight.

Ever since then, things haven't been right with my parents. This, in addition to other stressful things in my life such as school and idiotic boys have honestly got me at the point where I'm just really done with life. Like I don't even feel like trying to be happy anymore, because if my parents aren't the ones shooting me down, it's some guy, or school, or even sometimes my friends.

My parents are apparently very Catholic, my mom sent me a long winded article about how gay people go to hell because sodomy is condemned in the bible. I retorted with how the bible also says shellfish is evil and anyone who eats it would, too, be condemned to hell because in God's eyes all sins are of equal value.

But, my parents are very stubborn, and my mom thought what I said was completely nonsensical and she wouldn't reply to it because it was beneath her because it was so completely stupid.

Just an hour ago, I was going to hook up with a guy. My mom wasn't supposed to be home until 9:30. He came over, was in my house for about 30 seconds and my mom walked in. Thankfully, nothing happened and everything was still on so he left, and naturally my mom was extremely pissed as he's a bit older and is obviously older. I gave her some story about how I met him on a graphics design and music forum and he told me he was 19, but when I saw that he obviously wasn't I was going to kick him out.

I don't know if my mom believes this, but right when things were getting better, I fucked them over. I have nooooo clue what to do about this.

Any suggestions?
Keep in mind that my parents are very Christian. :/

thanks.

[DaretoFallup]

Well.. I honestly don't have much to say. But you should remind your parents, that, they are the ones supposed to be supporting you. From the time your parents decide to well, raise you, they're supposed to love you no matter who you are or what you choose....

[just-another-guy]

i agree you should remind them that you need the support form them. but of course do it nicely you know, but is there anyone you could talk to about this like a family member that would understand like an aunt or uncle. like someone who could maybe talk to your parents and help get things straighten out, but you cant give up on trying to be happy you should always keep trying you have a long life ahead of you and there is no point to give it all up now. i know that it seems like there is no point in it but its all just the twists and turns of life and u sound like someone who is strong and can make it through this little low point. so don't give up. also just try to talk to someone about it even a school counselor or someone they are always wiling to help. :)

[fohawk]

im straight but my mom always says to me that we will love you no matter what i beleive or do they will accept me no matter what and you should try to remind your parents this and if they dont then just tell your mom f#*% off because its your life and you can choose to make the right choices like i said before this is what my mom also said with out the [email protected]#off part.

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

Yeah, my mom freaked when she found out I was bisexual, she was bitchy for about 3weeks saying bisexuality isn't real and blah blah blah.
So I just finally told her "Look this is who I am; there is no changing that. But you are my mother and you're supposed to be there for me, not day I'm lying."
After that I walked away into my room, 2hours later she came in and said she was sorry for how she had acted.

Maybe you should try something like that, but really none of us are gonna be able to give you an answer, you know your parents better then us. =]

[Fuchs]

hmm, this sounds like a really shit situation, i guess i was really lucky with how accepting my parents where when i told them. I wish i had something better to tell you but unless you can move in with friends or other family who are more accepting, you might just have to put up with it. But just remember that they will have to live with whatever they say and do for the rest of their lives, i hope that in the end they realize that you're still their son and you're still the same person you've always been

[Ryhanna]

Give them a bit of time to get used to it. I imagine it would be quite shocking to learn your son is gay. No offence, but I think most parents imagine us to grow up and have a wife (husband if your a girl) and kids. It may just take a bit of time for it to sink and realise that you don't want what they thought you would.

[Scarface]

I am homosexual as well and when i told my mom it surprisingly went well. She told me that she accepts me, and she will love me no matter what. Nothing changed between her and i even though when i came out to her 2 yrs ago she wasn't hooked on prescription pills. That's irrelevant to this and i want to say I'm sorry your going through this, but you need to discuss with your mom that this is the way you were born. She has no right to change who you are because it is your preference and people should accept you because of your personality no who or what gender you choose.

Have a talk with her and explain that this is your way of life and you are proud of who you are. you are her son and she should accept and treat you with the same respect no matter what you choose to be or who you are. I hope this helps if you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here Pm me anytime

[KillerKing]

Sounds tough, especially seen as their christians. You've really already lost because religious people only have one view and can not easily be persuaded. I dont know how old you are but you just need to ride it out until you get into uni or a college or something, bascially somewhere where theres more people like you and where you'll be out of the house more than usual.

[CuriousDestruction]

i have extensive experience dealing with crazy anti-gay religious nut-jobs, no offense. i see your mom is very upset about this. but in time it's possible she will come to accept you. i want you to know that this isn't your fault. being gay is certainly NOT a choice. you said that your mom was very upset about this whole thing, how is your dad taking it? he is an integral part of your mom's beliefs. your mom also apparently is very stubborn and doesn't want to listen to reason. this is unfortunate because there is a huge amount of evidence that homosexuality is not a choice. however you have a few options on what to do here. you can wait for her to change. bear in mind that she probably has been raised strictly catholic and will need some time, but you are her son and she loves you. or, play the guilt card. if she really loved you, she would accept and support you. but that can backfire. or you can wait to get out of there. your parents are only the bosses of you until you are 18. afterwards, be free to be with whomever you want. but remember that you may regret not settling things with them later. if you want to talk more about this, PM me.

[Art_dude]

I'll revisit this thread to make a more in depth response, but for now here are my thoughts:

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now :( This absolutely sucks. You need to sit your parents down at some point in the future when you know exactly what you're going to say and pretty much get the point across that this is who you are. If she brings up the religious bull shit, you can respond with one of my fav lines, "Will god send me to hell for loving, or you for hating?" But the main point you need to get across is, "Mom, Dad, I'm your son. I know that deep down you love me because of the sacred bond between parent and child. I'm gay and that is part of who I am - I can't change it, nor would I want to because I accept me for who I am. And if you really want to continue this attitude over something as silly as my sexuality, then I truly pity both of you. It deeply saddens me that my own parents would give up that love and connection because of who I choose to love. I am willing and desiring to further our bond only if you decide to unclench your fist and take the initiative." I realize this is really haphazard, but again, I'll get back to you tomorrow so I can revise/add more.

[Alec75]

i agree with many of the people above!
your parents should support you no matter what, no matter what religion, you are still their son, and they should support you no matter what the situation is. talk to them about it, how much it bothers you that they dont support. cause theres nothing wrong with being gay, its just who you are, not sure if its a decision it could be a bunch of feelings. but talk to them, and see how they respond, they might apologise . hopefully. i wish you luck and tell all those people at school to back off, ignore their comments. its their opinion. words are harmless, as long as you either take it in or ignore it.
i wish you luck

[INFERNO]

You're just going to have to give them more time as it hasn't been even 1 year and so they apparently have not adjusted. They viewed you as being heterosexual for the amount of time you've been on this Earth but only recently, their view has been turned on its ear in addition to you rejecting the bible, which they cling to. Refuting them using biblical passages may not work because if your argument is a strong one and logical, they may still ignore it because they have their select views of the bible. If you don't agree with the bible, I'm not saying you have to begin now but rather that using such counter-arguments may be ineffective because they're set that no matter what, homosexuality is a sin.

I don't know if you've seen this clip but if not, it's a cartoon of what you're facing. HERE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAIpRRZvnJg)

[Kitty Purry]

I think you really just need to tell your parents that you need their support, and that you are the same exact person they loved before thy knew you were gay. And just hope that they cam be accecpting of you. I wish you luck, your very brave to come out to your parents :p

[Kahn]

Your parents should not be acting like this. Even though they are very Chrisitan, or Catholic (You said both so I was a bit confused), they should support their son. You are after all, their son. Just because it interferes with religious beliefs, which are absurd to me, doesn't mean they should disown their son.

For the kids at school, ignore them. If they are ignorant enough to not accept someone, why should they be accepted? People dislike racists, but hating and making fun of homosexuals is almost the exact same thing. Making fun of someone's sexuality is not right, and should be looked down upon, yet because of people's beliefs they think it is alright that they can make fun of you. It is like making fun of someone because they are straight. You never see homosexuals doing that do you? It is completly absurd.

I am sorry that people cannot be more accepting. Hang in there, and maybe things will get better.

[staying_alive]

Your parents will come to accept you, just give it time.

The guy-in-the-house thing was a BIG mistake. It just shows she can't trust you, and gives her more nonsensical reasons to be against gayness. (They're all sexual freaks, have no self control, etc.)

To be honest, Catholics can go to hell when it comes to homosexuality. But that's a different topic altogether so let's not go there.

It's just the nature of the times right now. Homosexuality is a controversial topic. Your parents will learn that you are the same kid they loved and continue to love, and they'll get over it.

In the meantime, enjoy yourself. You're in control of your life and (believe it or not) your parents have very little control.