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View Full Version : another poem (: read and feedback.


skyekirstyn
March 9th, 2010, 05:48 PM
life, is a meaningless observation.

of confusion.

you: the epitome.

me: counting backwards,

left me kingless,

ringless, zero in a tree.

a hundred in my head. as clarity clears,

your breathing shallow,

sped.

this is a conundrum.

sighing my hope away,

the beggining stopped: begun.

losing the firefight-inspire the way.

theres nothing to fill anymore.

like an empty promise,

shattered on the floor.

rage: an overwhelming heat,

took a turn for the worst

like the comfort of cavity in your teeth.

shook breathless,

no accepting: there is nothing to defeat.

washed up: the shore at your knees.

hello, my name is hollow.

as in, hollow, being me.

Centrist
March 9th, 2010, 06:03 PM
Very nice. I liked the metaphors. :] Very vivid.

Jess
March 9th, 2010, 08:42 PM
well written. I love it (: