Homophobic brother

[Reflection.]

Sorry, i don't post much here so i don't really expect anyone to care.

I don't know how to deal with my brother anymore, he really pisses me off. Let me start off by saying i DIDN'T TELL him i was bi, he looked at my web history and found some links to gay sites. When he found out he confronted me about it and i just told him to leave me alone, but then he's like "ew ew wow faggot I'm never letting you use my psp again." (that's where the web history was, wi-fi on mine was broken.) He doesn't really act any different when we hang around but i can tell he's uncomfortable with it. He'll always say stuff like "thats gay", "what a faggot", "fucking queer" when talking about things/people etc..

We we're arguing a few weeks ago and everytime i would open my mouth he would call me a faggot. Then he proceeded to tell me that god hates me, (he's not even religious which confused me) and i didn't have a soul and i'd burn in hell. Then last week i don't know what i did to piss him off (beat him at a game i think?) and again started up with the name calling, only this time he got up in my face and kept telling me to hit him, and fight him. Then he said to me with the most serious look on his face "get the f*ck over you so i can beat you straight you fag." I wanted to start crying right there. I'm not weak by any means, but i just can't bring myself to hit my own brother.

He acts normal when we're not fighting but i can still tell he hates that im bi. Only when he gets mad he'll attack me like that. I feel like its my fault for pissing him off though. My mom knows I'm bi, but she doesn't know that my brother knows. I really don't want to involve my mom because she probably won't take it seriously and my brother will just deny it. I just want everything to go back to normal, he's my brother and i'll always love him and support him in everything he does, why can't he do the same for me?

We're both 17 btw.

[humanesquire]

I think you should seriously tell her. Your brother may take it too far and seriously injure you. And if you think he'll deny it, tell your mom that he may.

[Mr. Smithers]

Even though he's treating you the way he is, deep down, he loves you. He knows that you being bi, doesn't make you any different.

My guess is that he's afraid to show love and show to you that's he's ok with it. Why, I really don't know, but I think he just doesn't know how to deal with the situation.

I'm pretty sure he will eventually just see you for who you are. I mean both of you are grown up to know that everyone is different. He's your brother, and I think he will see that family is still family.

It's also up to you as to if you want to tell your mother about it. I'm pretty sure that she will talk to your brother more, or if you guys should have a family discussion about it.

[MichaelAdams1993]

How long has he known? He may just need time to adjust and anger is his way of dealing with it.

[alex95]

Thats just him thats how my cousin is partially most of my family, maybe he just cant handle believing ur bi and ur his brother idk he just hates gay people?

[Ender]

Try sitting down and talking with him about it, if that doesn't work, go to your mom.

[Scarface]

Being Bi should not change the relationship between your brother or anyone else because that shows ignorance and insecurity on their part. I think you should wait to tell them because there could be consequence. they could take away privileges sleepovers with friends there could be a further extent, but do what you think is best. i hope this helps. PM me if you want to talk

[Ender]

Being Bi should not change the relationship between your brother or anyone else because that shows ignorance and insecurity on their part. I think you should wait to tell them because there could be consequence. they could take away privileges sleepovers with friends there could be a further extent, but do what you think is best. i hope this helps. PM me if you want to talk

He said his mom already knows, and his brother is being a total bi*** about it.

[Nelson]

Dude, i know the feeling, my dad is the same way, just tell you mom, she has a obligation to put a stop to the abuse

[staying_alive]

Wow, it's been a long time since i've been on here.

As for your question:

Your brother is handling the situation in that way because he wants to use something that you can't control against you. When you're fighting, he's got something that'll break you down and he knows that. His anger gets the best of him, and that's why he says it.

I hope you understand that going to your mom will only help the situation on the surface, and he won't stop having these feelings about your being bi.

My suggestion? Push him. Shove him around a little bit. When he fights you, make it physical enough so he'll get off your back. If you can take him, show him that and he'll respect that. He has no respect for your sexuality and you both know that. That won't change if you get your mom involved.

[Peace God]

i would also advise against going to your mother...at least not yet
im not promoting any violence but it might help to kick his ***

[guacamole24]

Even though he's treating you the way he is, deep down, he loves you. He knows that you being bi, doesn't make you any different.

My guess is that he's afraid to show love and show to you that's he's ok with it. Why, I really don't know, but I think he just doesn't know how to deal with the situation.

I'm pretty sure he will eventually just see you for who you are. I mean both of you are grown up to know that everyone is different. He's your brother, and I think he will see that family is still family.

It's also up to you as to if you want to tell your mother about it. I'm pretty sure that she will talk to your brother more, or if you guys should have a family discussion about it.

I agree. I think your brother will eventually accept you for who you are. A lot of teens go through a severe homophobic phase. Give it time. :)