i feel like i need self harm to be happy..

[PinkGrass]

i have been trying to stop but i want to do it so much again so i can stop crying put a fake smile on my face again and pretend everything is alright but i'm scared of starting again and not being able to stop like before..i just want everything to change but since i stopped self-harming i keep crying and i even started drinking..i just don't know what to do anymore..i lost the person i stopped for so whats the point of not doing it now..?
i was happy when i was doing it and i didn't cry or anything and not i get upset really easy and i'm going through a really hard time now so i feel like i need it to get up the bed and just carry on everyday now..:(

[Watchfulness]

If you still continue to harm yourself, then nothing has progressed, nothing has been recovered.

[Kaius]

When you try to stop self harming, it should be because you want to, not for anyone else's benefit. But well done for trying to stop. You've taken the first step and that's realising that you want to stop self harming. It might be a good idea to try and get yourself to a doctor, or someone you might be able to talk through things with, such as a counsellor. Self harm really isn't the only alternative, there are always other options. If you feel you might like to talk, feel free to pm me, you're always welcome.

[Lemonlover934]

i can really relate with what you said about the if your not harming your drinking, i have the same kind of issue if i am honest. It is really great that you stopped, and its great that you had such strength.
i agree that you should stop for yourself and not anyone else but even if the person who caused you to stop is gone you should still try your best not to.
You may be over emotional but this may pass and if you go back, stopping again could be even harder.
PM me if you want to talk xx

[georgiamay]

well, i think its good of you to try and stop, and you should keep going. it seems like the main reason your getting emotional and crying all the time is that your struggling to find other ways of coping because self-harm used to be your release, so the best thing for you to do is to find another release. write it all down or something, or punch a pillow. go out running; anything that releases the anger and stress that you used to release through self-harm.

i know it seems like self-harm is the only way to deal with it, i've been there, but self-harm is not the answer.

i'm so sorry you lost that person that you stopped for xxx but now, you need to stop for yourself, like everyone else has said. it will be hard, but once you come out of it all, it will all be worth it.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me x

[Zephyr]

Self harm can make you feel okay for a while after you do it because it's a coping mechanism. It releases endorfins, which causes a rush that makes you feel better, so when you quit, you'll feel worse for a while since you don't have that option by choice. I'd take this time to try and find something to fill that void with, some healthier way of coping besides alcohol; Alcohol is a depressant and will only exacerbate the situation. Things that worked for me were walking, drawing, writing, even just crying can be a better outlet. Hell, come on here, rant and rave about it, there are lots of people willing to listen :)

[CuriousDestruction]

like Stephanie said, self-harm may make you feel better temporarily. but it does long-term damage that can be irreversible. i know you are feeling like there is no point. but if you endure, if you find something else to fill up your time, the reward is feeling better about life. it's about your life being better.