Pirate
March 9th, 2010, 08:05 AM
I'm not sure if this is a rant or not, so I apologise if it is!
I don't know, recently I've been getting really depressed out of nowhere. I'll feel fine and then my mood will dip and I'll feel horrible for hours, sometimes waking up with it still there.
Yesterday for example, I felt awful on Sunday night, went to bed and when I woke up I still felt crap. I spent the day just in bed, watching telly shows on my laptop and feeling crap. Then, out of nowhere.. I started feeling better?
I have days where I feel like everything I do is pointless - my hours have been cut at work because it's after christmas and i'm not at college or anything, so I work little and when I'm not working I'm usually getting fucked with my friends. There's times when I hate my life - I hate that all my money and spare time goes on drink and drugs and things, but on the other hand - at times, I love it? Because it's fun and I'm a teenager and I know it won't be forever, I'm going back to college in September.
But it's just weird how my mood flips so suddenly, and so severely.
When I'm down, I honestly can't see the point, I've started self harming again - or I go out and get really fucked.
When I'm happy, I can't understand it at all. It's so bizzare. >.<
I don't know, recently I've been getting really depressed out of nowhere. I'll feel fine and then my mood will dip and I'll feel horrible for hours, sometimes waking up with it still there.
Yesterday for example, I felt awful on Sunday night, went to bed and when I woke up I still felt crap. I spent the day just in bed, watching telly shows on my laptop and feeling crap. Then, out of nowhere.. I started feeling better?
I have days where I feel like everything I do is pointless - my hours have been cut at work because it's after christmas and i'm not at college or anything, so I work little and when I'm not working I'm usually getting fucked with my friends. There's times when I hate my life - I hate that all my money and spare time goes on drink and drugs and things, but on the other hand - at times, I love it? Because it's fun and I'm a teenager and I know it won't be forever, I'm going back to college in September.
But it's just weird how my mood flips so suddenly, and so severely.
When I'm down, I honestly can't see the point, I've started self harming again - or I go out and get really fucked.
When I'm happy, I can't understand it at all. It's so bizzare. >.<