being invisible? i'm cool with that.

[1_21Guns]

basically, today my friend who usually invites me out, didn't and invited everyone but me out (and another friend, but at the time she was busy).
to tell you the truth, i'm not that bothered that i suddenly don't exist (not the first time, nor will it be the last) i'm more bothered as to why.
I went out with them last night, and at the begining i looked like i was on a downer (my friend pointed this out, which caused me to snap out of it slightly) and i was okay again the rest of the night, but then suddenly the friend who didn't invite me out didn't even speak a word to me. almost like i suddenly don't exist again.
maybe i'll just crawl back into the hole i happily jumped into last year, on my own, not needing anyone concidering noone wants anything to do with me all of a sudden.
i don't think i've even done anything, its just like everyones being off with me, almost like i'm a stranger, or i'm not real.
this friend has avoided me before now because she said i was 'awkward to be around, and she didn't know what to say around me'
I know some people are just like that, but she's ment to be my friend, why when i'm suddenly bad at hiding my depression for a while does she have to shut me out like i don't exist?

[Art_dude]

Sorry hun :(

That 'friend' probably didn't include you (and didn't socialize with you the previous night) because she may be offended by your withdrawal from the evening. She was probably enjoying herself and when she noticed you were being a damper on the vibe, she felt like ostracizing you. I'm not saying it's o.k., but that's a possible explanation. Also, not that I'm trying to defend her, but having a friend battling with depression is exhausting. Personally having had a friend with a lot of issues, I know that as much as I supported her, loved her and tried to include her, I couldn't be around her constantly after a while because she would bring down the me and our group of friends as a whole. Don't take it personally - I'm sure she still cares for you as a friend, she probably just can't take the pain associated with being around you.

It pained me to see her in pain. She probably feels the same way.