Long Distance

[Pudd]

I have a slight problem. I have a long distance relationship with another guy and he wants to play on xbox live with me, but im afraid that he's going to say something like "Love you" Which he does a lot on IM's.

Problem 1: My parents are often in the house and dont know that im Bi (Well pansexual, i say Bi to make it less confusing) So if they heard me say "Love you" back to him seriously it would be very awkward.

Problem 2: I play with other friends alot on xbox live and they dont know that im Bi either, and if they did then it would still be quite awkward for them if i started being all lovey dovey with my boyfriend.

Is there any way around this, I have asked him to keep it quiet when around my friends but that was before we were in a relationship, and i dont want to upset him by saying something like "Dont act as if were in a relationship" Because it might make him think that im embarrased, which im not, but if my friends hear about it then the whole village will know and ill never hear the end of it.

Help please

[Mr. Smithers]

Have you talked to your boyfriend about those three problems. Maybe you can solve all of them by talking to him.

And if you are afraid your friends are going to stop liking you because of your sexuality, then they weren't friends to being with.

[DayBreakArt]

Have you talked to your boyfriend about those three problems. Maybe you can solve all of them by talking to him.

And if you are afraid your friends are going to stop liking you because of your sexuality, then they weren't friends to being with.

Best advice anyone can give. I don't think he will take it badly. Remember, there was a time when he didnt come out either right? And if he loves you he'll understand. Just talk to him about it.

It's okay to not want to come out to your friends but you should tell them eventually. And as said above, if they dont like you because you're bi then they must not have been true friends.

[Pudd]

Its not that they wont like me, its that i know that people will treat me differently and in this village word gets around very fast which is what concerns me the most

[Carfreakjack]

Well u could just not say I love u back if someone home. And when ur playig with him just be in a privite chat instead of the pArty or game chat so that way noone can here u. Also just make sure u have the setting on were it only comes out of ur headset and not ur speakers. And I would talk to him and tell him not to send u messages on there. And it oils help if u had other ppl that rnt ur friends in real life that way if they saw ur friends list then they won't think anything of that gamertag.

[Pudd]

I would feel bad not saying anything like that to him though because i might upset him or make him feel as if i dont actually love him. I cant play in a private chat though because it would mean leaving my other friends out, which will make them think that ive ditched them for some random guy that they think i've only just met.

[tnn_94]

theres nothing else you can really do. i say the best thing to do was already stated by Discotheque and Carjackfreak. I kind of understand your situation. im bi as well and i dont want any of my friends knowing. i know they will still be my friends if i tell them, but its just if i do tell them, sooner or later, it will get out, and people you dont know will start giving you a hard time about it.

[Pudd]

but its just if i do tell them, sooner or later, it will get out, and people you dont know will start giving you a hard time about it.

Exactly. I was never sure why i didnt want people knowing, but that has told me why, because of people who cant accept that other people have different preferences and not everyone feels the same way about everything, and they use that against them...

[Englishrose]

If he turns the conversation into that sort of conversation you could try and turn it away from making it obvious. For example he says "I love you", you could reply with "I know you do" in a joking manner. Or make sure the conversation never gets to that stage by talking about the game.
I know from experience that once a game starts we pretty much concentrate on the game in hand, and it's only in the lobby beforehand that we have general conversation. Just keep him occupied with things other than you two, ask him what other games he has ect.
Also if worst comes to worst, afterwards you can just tell your friends its a long running joke between the two of you and that there is nothing more to it.

[Pudd]

Thanks Rose, I'll try that =)

[cherry_boi]

just tell him that tho you love him and are proud to be with him, there are alot of people that are not as tolerant or open minded as they should be so to avoid creating problems within the relationship and in respect to you friends and family (ho should not have to be informed of your sexuality by over hearing a convo on xbox live) tell him that u'd be glad to play with him but that the relationship needs to be kept quiet under those circumstances for now, until you feel your ready to be open with your sexuality

and it's completely understandable that u don't want to create drama/awkwardness over this, it's unfortunate that you have to hide your relationship, but that's the reality of today's society (hopefully that will chance)

if he can't respect that then u guys need to have a serious talk about ur relationship

[Pudd]

just tell him that tho you love him and are proud to be with him, there are alot of people that are not as tolerant or open minded as they should be so to avoid creating problems within the relationship and in respect to you friends and family (ho should not have to be informed of your sexuality by over hearing a convo on xbox live) tell him that u'd be glad to play with him but that the relationship needs to be kept quiet under those circumstances for now, until you feel your ready to be open with your sexuality

and it's completely understandable that u don't want to create drama/awkwardness over this, it's unfortunate that you have to hide your relationship, but that's the reality of today's society (hopefully that will chance)

if he can't respect that then u guys need to have a serious talk about ur relationship

Thank you so much for that Cherry. Its helped so much. Ill tell him when i next talk to him. Im sure he will understand. +Rep for you n.n

[cherry_boi]

lol np, and thnx :p

[Fuchs]

My boyfriend and i have much the same problem. I'm a couple years older then he is and he's out to his family and two of his closest friends, and whenever we are together around his friends who don't know we just act as if we are just friends, same thing with his family, even though they have accepted him being gay they still have a couple hang ups, and quite frankly his brothers scare me. You just need to talk to him and ask him if he could just "tone it down" around your friends and not act all lovey dovey, that's what mine asked, if he loves you then he will respect that.

P.S it's great to see another person in a long distance relationship, lets me know i'm not the only crazy person out there lol and it's great to see another furry on here

[Pudd]

My boyfriend and i have much the same problem. I'm a couple years older then he is and he's out to his family and two of his closest friends, and whenever we are together around his friends who don't know we just act as if we are just friends, same thing with his family, even though they have accepted him being gay they still have a couple hang ups, and quite frankly his brothers scare me. You just need to talk to him and ask him if he could just "tone it down" around your friends and not act all lovey dovey, that's what mine asked, if he loves you then he will respect that.

P.S it's great to see another person in a long distance relationship, lets me know i'm not the only crazy person out there lol and it's great to see another furry on here

Thanks for the support :) I agree, it is nice to see other furries. It annoys me how many people stereotype them though >.>
I dont think ill be having to play with him and friends though, because one night i was talking to him and he said that he doesnt want to meet my friends just yet. Which i can understand since my friends are probably the most immature people you will ever meet :P

[Hollywood]

just talk to him, like on the phone.
tell him that ur not embarresed to being going out wiht him, but u dont want ur friends to judge u because of it. he should be able to understand.