My First Post.

[Ticklish613]

This is my first post blog or whatever you wanna call it. And to be honest I really don't know what to say,so Im just gonna type. I just have no one to talk too everytime I talk to my parents the first words out of their mouths are "Wanna go see a theapist?" im sick of theapists,i've been to them every sicne my parents have gotten divorced when I was 2 but I didn't start going of course till 6,when my depression started. I would get angry all the time and I still do. And cry for no reason which still happens alot but too be hoenst alot more frequently. I try to talk to this guy I like whom I feel comfortable talking to but he always tells me to stop complainging and never lets me finish. &I don't even feel comfortable talking to my best friend,i'll tell her some stuff but no the whole story,and my friends know they always ask me whats wrong but I can't get myself to tell them,is that normal? I geuss I just want someone to talk too someone that understands what Im going threw.

[Mr. Smithers]

First of all, welcome to the VT. You came to the place to let all that out. You can always come here to talk to anybody. Remember that.

It's normal to feel the way that you are. I know you been through a lot in life, and you feel like nobody is there. Throw that feeling out the window. I want to see you happy. Try things, even if you think that they might not turn out the way you planned. At least you tried.

Once again you can always come here if you feel down or upset. Don't be afraid to let whatever is out here.

[Art_dude]

Welcome to VT!

Like August said, if you feel you can't talk to anybody then you've come to the right place! I know it's frustrating when attempting to have a conversation with your parents about your mental health, but quite honestly your parents can't be friends and I think that's what you're expecting from them whether you realize it or not - Wanting to vent, or just run an idea by someone is best left to friends who won't be quick to judge you or push a 'solution' immediately down your throat. Because your parents love you (and they're adults) they don't have that ability. They just see their kid suffering and want to 'help.' I know it's frustrating, but know that it's coming from a place of love.

Can you go into more detail about your depression? How old are you currently?
Do you think that your depression is clinical or more conditional? Is it your parent's divorce that is still affecting you or something completely different? If you feel the need to go into more depth drop me a PM. Hope you're feeling better.

[Ticklish613]

yes,yes I can. Im 15 years old 16 in june. I have read about both and I believe that my depression isn't as serious as clinical but its more conditional. It's not really the divorce,it's what has happened since the divorce. &Im sorry I can't send pm's untill i make 25 posts or whateverrr.

[Art_dude]

Ah, no worries about the PM thing. Soon enough you'll make more posts.

That's good news - conditional depression can be a lot easier to treat. Can you tell us what happened exactly after your parents divorce that you believe drove you into this dark time? The more you tell us about your problem and your thoughts on in, the more we have to work with to see if we can help.

[Ticklish613]

Well one good thing is my dad has been sober for 14 years in march I believe. but also alot of drama and violence my dad meet this girl in AA she is complete pyshco they have been on and off since I was 5. Shes puts my father in fincial debt ever time he goes back to her and she does drugs and all that shit. I really dont know what the hell he see's in her. Her kids are crazy also. After everything they did to my brother&I he still kept going back to her&their not together now but everything is takeing its corse he is finally getting abck on his feet and he meet a nice sane woman and hes just gonna go back to her. Like always.
&my mom married an alcholic who is useing her basicly. He got like 2 dui's or whatever and lost his liscnese for a year and shes carting his ass around. He always comes first before my brother&I. But she doesn't realize that as soon as his classes are over (part of his punishment instead of jail was saf driveing classes) that hes just going to start drinking again and loose his Job. Like he always does. My mother is also very much in debt and drained both mine&brothers checking accounts. Half the time it's like living with a 5 year old she can't do anything herself.
&everyone tells me to stop worrying about your parents and just do what you want,but it's seriously not that easy I just can't wait to be 18 and get away from this fucked up family.

[TakeMyHand]

Oh my, families are so disappointing... mine sucks too, well it's hardly a family to begin with. I live with my mom and sister. My dad was a bit of a deadbeat and often violent, but he's remarried to some woman he met before my parents were even divorced. My mom still hasn't remarried after 11 years, she's had dozens of boyfriends but they all move on after a couple months or even weeks and most are a mess.

The closest I've had to a father figure is my next door neighbor whom my mom dated for a few years. Sadly enough he's a psycho like your dad's girlfriend, he drinks nothing but beer... like, literally, he has no other drinks in his house, and he now is on cocaine. He used to get drunk, high, and angry every night and bang on the door screaming "Get out here you whore, etc, etc" and when my mom wouldn't answer he'd start peeking in the bedroom windows and slamming on them too and threating to shoot us with his shotgun which he occasionally did bring. Sometimes we'd wake up the next morning to find things outside or in our garage either missing or destroyed (one time he even destroyed our well, you know the thing that supplies us and all our dogs (we run a dog breeding business) with freaking water!). Oh and anytime I'd go try to help get him to calm down and leave, he'd absolutely flip out at the sight of me and start screaming crazy stuff like "It's all his fault! He's turning you against me! I'm gonna kill you you little faggot! (I'm straight by the way) etc, etc"

It sucks, all I want is to get away from here.

[Ticklish613]

Im so sorry.
But I understand,it's tough. The only thing I could tell you is to call the cops cause I don't know if he ever hurt your mom but it could escalate to that. &then it just gets worse.
&I completely agree with you I can't wait to get away from all this drama.