Arghhhhh

[Asylum]

so my day went well... *sarcasim* this is going to be a very sarcastic psot... just warning


so not only did i feel lonely... i kept glancing over at the current bf i had at the time.. waiting for him just to say a few words to me... we hadn't been tlaking recently... but we had been doing the small talk thing... this is usual for him though he is always with freinds especially the past month or so... barely with me at all.. haven't seen or really spoken to him since valentines day... its not like i'm not making an effort to fix thing i am... i keep going up to him, saying hi making convrsation... however when i don't... its like i'm not there...i mean sometiems he'll come up but then he'll leave because of his friends... or cuz of play practice starting again.. so anyway... i didn't mkae an effort today to go up to him... i'm done playing both roles... i cna't fix things on my own right..? so he tells me there is a lack of chemistry and yes we've had ltos of fights... and decided to take a break... which i dind't want... cuz i still ahve feeligns for him... the fights weren't stupid.. ihad every right to be ocncerned... so we broke up... .
trying to keep this short...
and paretns were angry and fighting.. ... mom and i got into a fight... and meanwhile she comes in starts making ranodm unnecary conversaton... i'm upset.... i just want to cry.. and she won't go away!! but she did eventually and then i borke down.. . dad also wnats to move...... so great..... also bad hair day... and i havne't started my hw... arhghhhhhhh and i have to wake up early and be there at 7:30 to see my new ex who is also in the stupid play... and i rally want to cut now, but i can't because i'll be chaning in front of people... and arghhh i sooooo want to!!!!! i just want to scream, and curse, and cry, and arghhhh, havne't cursed yet though, not going to.. although it tempting it won't help and its unnessasary.. sorry for mispellings i'm typig this really late and really fast cuz i'm angry sad, and annoyed and hurt.... and arghhh so many thigns...sorry if this is in the wrong section... its a mental crisis cuz i'm stressing but also about relationships and self harm...

[Aspiringanonymous]

Breathe. Just keep taking deep, controlled breaths, if that's all you can manage at the moment. Try to avoid breaking down over the fact that you're breaking down - it happened, you didn't quite have the ability to prevent it, but it like all things will pass.

I often get responses from people saying things like "but my emotions control me, every last inch of me, you're expecting me to still have some rationality left here which honestly isn't happening" ..and that's perfectly okay. Do whatever you feel you need to do to get past through this and reach a state where it is possible to think clearly, and then go from there.

The way I see it is, if you're physically unwell, you'd most likely make an effort to take care of your body and treat it with caution; same goes for when mentally unwell. At least be aware of it, as well as thought and behaviour patterns which are perpetuating it - even if you don't feel quite capable of making an effort to change them yet.

[Scarface]

I know relationship problems all too well. My ex boyfriend caused way too much drama in my life. your ex, he sounds to be acting quite naive. You tried to make the relationship work he just had no inhibition so maybe it was for the best. just calm down take a step back and analyze everything that's going on right now and concentrate on whats important. i hope this helps if you need to talk feel free to PM me anytime:)

[Asylum]

thanx guys. i feel better nowish.. well not so much... i feel still sad and hurt... but i can htink now.. and it's not worth being upset over... however i can't help emotions... its not worth being this upset over.. nothing is going to change... and i have to accept that... it hasn't really hit reality yet... losing him was my biggest fear, he's gone now... when it hits reality after a few days maybe a week or so without speaking... my mood will get worse, then i'll accept it..it just really sucks because he was the one person i was so open and comfortable with, and felt close to, i could just be myself around him... plus he was the only person i really talk to at school... so i feel extrememly lonely...life moves on i need to accept the ongoing winds of change.... plus everythign has a purpose and a reason, whats ment to be is ment to be... and its hard to accept and think about all of that... but within time i will... it'll just take a while...
Ronnie I'm sorry about what happened with you and your ex... *hugs*
Maya- yea i've been breathing a lot... crying a lot..
thank you for both of your comments it helped.