It's sickening

[Ryhanna]

My Grandpa died today. It wasnt a shock. I haven't cried... until now, I haven't really felt all that sad, I felt sickened that I wasn't sad. Until now, I've found that my extended family doesn't want me to attend the funeral. The people Im talking about are nutters, they just have no sense of decency. But to prevent me from attending the funeral just makes me hate them.
I have a right to say goodbye. He was my grandpa too. I miss him.

I won't go now. Even if they change they're mind. Im going to stay here and greive and hold a ceremony. I love my grandfather and Im not going to allow some controlling, hate-fueled bullies prevent me from saying goodbye. I can't believe he's gone. It's surreal. So are they're actions.

[Mr. Smithers]

I'm real sorry about your loss Ryan. I would be totally upset if I couldn't attend the funeral. That was a real crazy choice your parents made. I hope you stay strong and don't let that get to you.

All my condolences to your grandfather.

[Ryhanna]

I'm real sorry about your loss Ryan. I would be totally upset if I couldn't attend the funeral. That was a real crazy choice your parents made. I hope you stay strong and don't let that get to you.

All my condolences to your grandfather.

It wasn't my parents. My dads gone for the funeral as it was his father, but his family don't want the rest of us there. Even so, it is a nasty decision. Thank you for you're kind words.

[Scarface]

i'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa, but there is nothing wrong with you when someone dies there are different phases that you go through denial anger grief and finally acceptance. I know its hard not being able to say goodbye to your grandpa, but maybe they want you to remember your grandpa as he was. i have been to soo many funerals its not funny i no longer have grandparents. im really glad you came here to talk about it. if you need someone to talk to PM me anytime i hope this helped

[Ryhanna]

I know its hard not being able to say goodbye to your grandpa, but maybe they want you to remember your grandpa as he was.

No, they're just not very nice people, trust me, it's not the first time they've done this sort of thing.
Everything else you said was very helpful, thank you.

[CuriousDestruction]

i'm sorry for your loss. i'm actually pissed that your extended family would do that. it's not right, not at all. i lost a friend a while back and i went to the funeral against my parent's wishes.

[Asylum]

i am very sorry for your loss *hugs* know he has never really left, he is always with you in memories.. and in spirit... he no longer suffers from old age. i know i'd be so upset if that happened t me not being able to say goodbye... i wasn'tallowed to go to my grandfather's funeral.... however i was 3, i wouldn't have understood.. perhaps talking to you mom might help... and dad... may not change things, but venting, espeically if someone agrees with you... for example you wanting to go to funeral your mom might have to,and just having someone to relate you and sort of be upet with its good in some sense... i hope i'm making sense... i'm runing on 2 hours of sleep so if i'm nt i'm really sorry. i will keep your family in my prayers

[Ryhanna]

Thank you Yuki :)
Im going to a lake to to a ceremony with my mum and sisters today. Im going to be reading fire and rain by james taylor.

I also wrote a song abut it, it really helped to let the negative feelings go and just focus on the positives. It's a really emotional song called Undying Life.

[Kahn]

My Grandpa died today. It wasnt a shock. I haven't cried... until now, I haven't really felt all that sad, I felt sickened that I wasn't sad. Until now, I've found that my extended family doesn't want me to attend the funeral. The people Im talking about are nutters, they just have no sense of decency. But to prevent me from attending the funeral just makes me hate them.
I have a right to say goodbye. He was my grandpa too. I miss him.

I won't go now. Even if they change they're mind. Im going to stay here and greive and hold a ceremony. I love my grandfather and Im not going to allow some controlling, hate-fueled bullies prevent me from saying goodbye. I can't believe he's gone. It's surreal. So are they're actions.

Death can be hard to come to terms with.. It is surreal. It is sad. It is scary. And most of all it is devastating.

A few months ago.. My brother called me in the morning the day after... and I got the news that my Grand Father had passed. I was devastated. Crying, balling my eyes out. It is hard to think back to the experience. It is hard to think back to the pain. His image of his laughing face imprinted on my mind, the image of him lying there in his nursing home bed, sometimes looking like he's not even there.

My father didn't let me go to the funeral. He didn't let me say my good byes. He simply gave me what my Grand father had left me. 1400$, and a note. I kept the note, gave 700$ to a food shelter, and had my brother put the last 700 in his casket. For nights I went on crying. But people were there for me. Mojo Jojo (Thomas) talked to me through nights. JustNick (Nick) did the same thing. They helped me get through depression. They helped me get through the pain.

The reason I was so sad is because my Grand Father was practically my father. In reality, he wasn't, but in my eyes he was. He would do everything for me. He taught me how to throw a fucking baseball. Now, at the age of thirteen I don't have a father, or grand father..

What you need to do is seek help for the grief. It will be rough at first, but with the help of others you can pull through. May it be someone on VT or someone in real life, you can get through this time.

Your family members have no right to keep a grandchild from the funeral. Go. See your Grandfather for the last time. Who cares about them? They are ignorant. They are mean. Just walk past them. You deserve one last look at your Grandfather.

I hope this helps...

~Adam

December 12th, 2009. R.I.P Grandfather. I love you.

[Ryhanna]

Thank you everyone. The funeral was yesterday, I didn't go. I held a little ceremony and it felt really, really right.

[TakeMyHand]

What made them act this way? Do they even have a reason for telling you not to come? Even if they do have one, it isn't good enough, nothing would justify something like that.

Anyway, I'm glad you did hold a ceremony for him.

[Ryhanna]

They kind of hate my side of the family for reasons they won't explain. I think it has something to do with money... But it's still no excuse, even if they hate us to death.

[TakeMyHand]

Then they're just jerks. My neighbors have had a similar thing going on between them for the past 4 years. They're all related and all have been having huge feuds between each other, constantly switching sides, forming alliances, etc. and it gets really brutal sometimes, it's just awful, and we get caught right in the middle of it all the time.

[Evermore]

You have my condolences for your grandpa's death. It enrages e that your extended family would do such a thing. I don't care if you raped their little sister, he was your grandpa and they had no right to restrain you from saying goodbye.

I can't really relate. The only family members I've ever met was my mom and siblings.

[Ryhanna]

You have my condolences for your grandpa's death. It enrages e that your extended family would do such a thing. I don't care if you raped their little sister, he was your grandpa and they had no right to restrain you from saying goodbye.

I can't really relate. The only family members I've ever met was my mom and siblings.

woah who said anything about raping little sisters? haha that was so random i burst out laughing... lol but I see your point lance, thank you I totally agree. Ad so does my aunt, she was enraged. She tried to give us $1000 no repayment to go just to stand up to them. We didn't because we knew it would be waful to leave him with those negative feelings.

Again, thank you to the people who have replied to me and everything on this thread. You can keep talking to me if you want to, it's nice to know people care. Right now im doing really well. Sunday I pick my dad up from the airport, first time I've seen him since I found out my grandather died, he left the night before to go see him but didn't make it... It'll probably send a rush of feelings back at the airport and afterwards.

[Ryhanna]

Death can be hard to come to terms with.. It is surreal. It is sad. It is scary. And most of all it is devastating.

A few months ago.. My brother called me in the morning the day after... and I got the news that my Grand Father had passed. I was devastated. Crying, balling my eyes out. It is hard to think back to the experience. It is hard to think back to the pain. His image of his laughing face imprinted on my mind, the image of him lying there in his nursing home bed, sometimes looking like he's not even there.

My father didn't let me go to the funeral. He didn't let me say my good byes. He simply gave me what my Grand father had left me. 1400$, and a note. I kept the note, gave 700$ to a food shelter, and had my brother put the last 700 in his casket. For nights I went on crying. But people were there for me. Mojo Jojo (Thomas) talked to me through nights. JustNick (Nick) did the same thing. They helped me get through depression. They helped me get through the pain.

The reason I was so sad is because my Grand Father was practically my father. In reality, he wasn't, but in my eyes he was. He would do everything for me. He taught me how to throw a fucking baseball. Now, at the age of thirteen I don't have a father, or grand father..

What you need to do is seek help for the grief. It will be rough at first, but with the help of others you can pull through. May it be someone on VT or someone in real life, you can get through this time.

Your family members have no right to keep a grandchild from the funeral. Go. See your Grandfather for the last time. Who cares about them? They are ignorant. They are mean. Just walk past them. You deserve one last look at your Grandfather.

I hope this helps...

~Adam

December 12th, 2009. R.I.P Grandfather. I love you.

That story made me cry, Adam. I'm sorry for you're loss. I didn't know my grandfather very well and the only memories I have of him are from when he was sick. I can't remember what he was like before then, I was too young. I'm actually doing quite well, I'm supporting everyone else in my house who is sad. Except my sister. She's young, but surely she's not so young (at 8) to know to respect how others may be feeling. She's running around being annoying, driving everyone insane and straight after our ceremony she asked the most stupid question: "Can we go get Mcdonalds for lunch?" - In fact, she didn't ask, she demanded. Surely shes not THAT inconsiderate??

[Kahn]

That story made me cry, Adam. I'm sorry for you're loss. I didn't know my grandfather very well and the only memories I have of him are from when he was sick. I can't remember what he was like before then, I was too young. I'm actually doing quite well, I'm supporting everyone else in my house who is sad. Except my sister. She's young, but surely she's not so young (at 8) to know to respect how others may be feeling. She's running around being annoying, driving everyone insane and straight after our ceremony she asked the most stupid question: "Can we go get Mcdonalds for lunch?" - In fact, she didn't ask, she demanded. Surely shes not THAT inconsiderate??

Thank you. My wishes are with your Grandfather as well.

Your sister is a bit young to realize what is going on. When my Nana died I remember going to the funeral, but I wasn't necessarily sad. I mean, she didn't know him well, she is young and doesn't realize what everyone is feeling. You need to have patience with her, try to entertain her. It will also keep your mind of things.