Alone and Soo Shy (not the singer)

[Skeletal-Chic]

I feel like I've been alone since I started Secondary/High-School. I've not kissed a girl (every other lad has) and I haven't gone further either (about 19 i know have, one is a Dad now). The closest I've gotten is (hoping this isn't TMI) grinding against a girl at a Rave. I'm just so shy and self-conscious I don't dare meet new people or talk to randomers at big social places. I don't want to be like this. I want to come across as confident and attractive, but I just fail. (Content Removed)

[AgusCO]

Oh, I'm the same! I wish I could give you advice on this but I just haven't solved it myself. However, I'm probably in denial and idealization (Freud's defense mechanisms) in order to make myself believe I don't have any of those troubles

[Lazy Procrastinator]

That's me haha, please somebody post XD!

[Skeletal-Chic]

Please, people. I wanted advice and help, not people saying "Ha me too". Although that is somewhat comforting, it doesn't really help much

[Aspiringanonymous]

Why is it so important to live up to society's standards? You haven't experienced any of the things that most people are starting to brag about; so? What is, will be. Luckily, life is multi-faceted enough for one to potentially find fulfillment through many different methods, should one prove unsuccessful. Seek them out.

You can choose to appreciate your current state, one way or another, provided that there is a willingness. So it may be undesirable, but it is rich with its unique insights, ready to enlighten a perceptive mind.

Look up to those that represent the personality you wish to become, but don't fall into the trap of jealousy; rather, if it is possible to uphold a genuine admiration and desire to learn from them - the process of change will come naturally.

[maddie411]

I feel like I've been alone since I started Secondary/High-School. I've not kissed a girl (every other lad has) and I haven't gone further either (about 19 i know have, one is a Dad now). The closest I've gotten is (hoping this isn't TMI) grinding against a girl at a Rave. I'm just so shy and self-conscious I don't dare meet new people or talk to randomers at big social places. I don't want to be like this. I want to come across as confident and attractive, but I just fail.

just go out there have fun be urself

[TakeMyHand]

just go out there have fun be urself

Yeah that's not good advice for people like me who's "self" would rather go back under our shell and not talk to the girl at all, and even if we did, we don't have a "self" when talking to people anyway because we still don't know who "we" are.

So... that's not really an option, got any more advice? :(

[Lemonlover934]

The thing is shyness is crippling, i get that. But there are lots of shy girls out there too. I think to be honest the best thing is find a social situation which isn't too bad for you. Like maybe a group or class of some sort, your all put into a new social situation so everyone is shy so it means everyone just has to get the courage and usually a couple of weeks in everyone has made friends. x