is it considered abuse?

[hardcore-smile]

When I get mad at my boyfriend we fight.. it's normal right? but when we fight he'll say things like "you fing b*tch, your a stupid b*tch, your messed up in the head, your a fing slut, i'm done with your bullsh*t, you need help, you bi-polar b*tch, i hope your mom is dieing in an ally way somewhere, she should of had an abortion the world would be better"

When we have sex, we take videos (sometimes) and i have sent him ALOT of pictures, so when this happens, and he says all these things he threatens to come over and show my mom ( and he's not scared ) when we are at school and fight he yells at me and i cry saying "leave me alone, please leave me alone" but he still gets in my face and yells at me, even when people are around. And he also punches lockers..

Is this considered abuse. ? I love him so much, but i can't take it when he does this. How do I get him to stop ?

[Inconvenience]

leave him. dont wanna be mean but u dont have a self respect ;) and he doesnt respect u - its clear ;)

if u dont respect urself, nobody will respect u.

and for god damn sake, dont say that u sustain that disrespect in a name of love ;)

[Mattasaur94]

Well, Firstly this can be considered Verbal or Mental Abuse, the insults, the yelling and such.
Secondly, Can you make it stop? Do you believe you can change him?
I know people who've gone through things exactly like this, with physical abuse thrown in there, they get married, in hopes that marriage will change the man, make it more solid, make the relationship something set in cement, but, after the first few months, the honeymoon period and such, it goes back to the original cycle.

What you need to do is take a step back and ask yourself, "Is it really worth it?"
Assuming your only a teenager ( :) ) then you'll most probably go through alot of relationships through growing up. Love can be an incredibly overused word at young ages, even in older relationships.

NOTE: This is also considered "Date Violence", it's when a person in a relationship abuses their power by using force and/or manipulation to "dominate" the other person. As the name might suggest, it's not specifically physical violence, it can be anything, from sexual, to mental to physical.
The best thing you can do is get out of the relationship, in most cases you can't make a person stop. It's who they are.

Sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear.

[Iron Man]

Yes! That is most definetly verbal abuse. If he loved you truly, he wouldn`t do the things he does. Leave him.

[CuriousDestruction]

verbal abuse. severe verbal abuse. and blackmail. i won't advise you to leave him because that's up to you. but i would advise you both go to counseling. that can be very effective in helping a relationship.

[Sapphire]

This is verbal/mental abuse.
It is normal for couples to fight. But it is not normal or acceptable for one person to turn to the other and hurl such abusive comments at them in the course of an argument.

Some abusers use this type of abuse to make the person dependent on them so that they can escalate the abuse without being left or reported.
It is important for you to note that I'm not saying that he is definitely one of these people though.

The fact that you are here asking whether it is abuse or not shows that at least a part of you suspects that it is.
You have asked the question and the next hurdle is whether you accept the answers you are given or not.

I know that I asked the question over and over. I know that I heard the same answers time and time again. But I did not accept them because of the hold he had over me.

[Stolen Memories]

Yes, sadly this is a form of domestic violence.

Verbal/Mental abuse...

You shouldn't have to take this and you should try to stop it. Just leave him. He's not worth you.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Erm, I don't have self respect, and a lot of people respect me, just because you don't have self respect does not mean others won't respect you, I think that's utter BS to be honest.

I think I'm fat and ugly, yet others think I'm too thin & beautiful, I think I'm worthless, yet others think I'm worth more than anything they can describe, same goes for self respect, utter BS imho, don't try & blame this girl somehow for being treated this way because she may not have self respect, even those with self respect get treated like utter shit.

Leave this guy & stay the hell away from him, his behavior is disgusting.
You deserve so much better.

[Watchfulness]

No, you have the consent.
You should have not approved in the first place before commiting those actions.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Yeah, because I'm so sure she knew what an ass he was.

She trusted him that deeply, and loved him that deeply, I'm sure if she knew what would have happened she'd have thought twice about it.

Jeez, doesn't excuse this guy for what he's done.

[Scarface]

Leave him no matter how much its going to hurt you. that is a very unhealthy relationhsip. stay away from him at all costs. if he continues to bother you thereafter then you need to talk to your guidance counselor or your parents because that is unacceptable behavior and you shouldn't condone it any longer. i hope this helps. if you want someone to talk to feel free to PM me anytime im always here

[BuryYourFlame]

No, you have the consent.
You should have not approved in the first place before commiting those actions.

Just because she consented doesn't give him the right to use that in such a manipulative way. She should be able to trust people, it isn't her fault he is being such a jerk.

[Atonement]

So, we've established that its a form of abuse, but I'd also like to point out the harassment side.

You crying out to stop and him continuing is harassment. Textbook really. All someone would have to do is report it and he would receive a formal warning to cease contact with you and if he were to continue, he would be charged with harassment. Its not okay and it cannot be tolerated. I personally empathize with you and wish you the best.

[hexane]

Anyone that treats you badly is not your friend. A friend will treat you with respect and dignity. You should stop having any relationship with this person.

[Death]

OP, you've just described a thug, I'm sorry. I'd leave him.

[Evermore]

As said many times ocver again, leave him. You really deserve someone better. No matter how much it seems like you love him you're just hurting yourself by staying with him. He's a tool.

[MariettaNate]

That sounds very abusive. Its only a matter of time before he hits you instead of a locker.

[Jess]

you should leave him, as others said.

[Viral Death]

Its relationship abuse. It will get worse and he will move onto physical abuse. I would leave him and tell him to get rid of those pictures. But it will get worse!

[sandman17]

when i first started reading that i thought its not abuse, but as i read on i think he may have anger issues.
you need to start threatening him.
tell him to calm down or whatever or you'll leave him.

[karl]

Dump him, you can do better

[Pirate]

This is tricky, because more often than not, when people become programmed to behave a certain way when mad or whatever, it's hard to get out of it.
Someone who hits their girlfriend/wife is someone who probably will continue to do so and with future girlfriends/wives because it's how they react.
I understand if you don't want to leave him, my ex - though never too bad - could scare me quite a bit when he was mad, because he'd yell and punch things, and occasionally push me.
This is something HE has to sort out, try speaking to him and see if he realises what he's doing. See if he has remorse for his actions or sympathy to how he makes you feel. My ex always felt awful afterwards. Unfortunatly, we weren't together long enough for him to sort any of it out.
But see if he'll consider speaking to someone about it or trying to control it.
If not, then it's up to you, but love him or not, you need to feel safe and protected in a relationship.

[mike815]

ok i suggest u end this relationship and find a way to get rid of the pistures and videos that is illegal unless u are both 18 and u could both go to jail for it.. im not ttrying to scare u but if ur bf shows ur mom she can have him arrested as well pm me if u wanna know more i have good advice for u i dont wanna post here

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

It's considered Emotional and Mental Abuse, so yes abuse, just not in it's normal form.

[Asylum]

this is abuse... it will only get wrose, soon he'll start phsyically hurting you... it sucks being in that sitatuion but do what you think will be best for you .... which in this case is leaving him. he isn't worth it...

[Alec75]

:o first off, he's messed up in the head. saying things like that, and hes the one who sounds bi polar. i think u need to leave hhim, im not sure im sorry but i dont think he respects you, in any way. noone should talk to anybody like that
have you tried talking to him about the way he is?

[kiki776]

hes a jerk

i think hes using u 4 sex