My best friend tested positive for AIDS

[Katrina]

Yesterday her ELISA test result came back positive. She then hurried to her BF who then declared that he already has the dreaded disease. Now my friend is completely shattered.
Her parents are completely the orthodox type who don't even believe in love, let alone the physical contact following it. But still I told her to at least tell her parents about it. But she says that she will be spurned out of her house.
Now what shall I tell her? I am afraid now as the society will completely ignore her.

[ledzepmatt1996]

WoW

i guess best of luck to her and him

[Aspiringanonymous]

Stay calm, and work towards acceptance. What already is cannot be changed, but that does not mean it needs to cause any more unnecessary emotional chaos.

She should consult a doctor, also, to discuss medical procedures and issues that may follow.

[CuriousDestruction]

i am so sorry. i have had a few friends with aids. if her parents love her then they will care more about her health than her actions. but if you think they can't see past that, she may want to keep it from them. HOWEVER. aids is a very visual disease. they will notice eventually. know that.

[Sapphire]

HIV can be managed and that is what she should be concentrating on right now. She needs to talk to the doctors.

As for her parents, I think she should get her head around this before she tells them tbh. It is a lot to take in and she has to learn how to look after herself properly more than ever considering her HIV status.
Once she has done that, she can decide for herself if her parents really have to know.

[Katrina]

To contact a doctor you need the help of your parents. You can't just go to the doctor and say that you have HIV. That's why I was telling her to tell her parents.

[Sapphire]

Why does she need her parents help to see the doctor?
She's obviously got some independence since she is working.

[Katrina]

It was found out during the regular bi-yearly checkup.

[Sapphire]

Who did her check up if it wasn't a doctor?

[Katrina]

Why does she need her parents help to see the doctor?
She's obviously got some independence since she is working.
She is still in school.
Who did her check up if it wasn't a doctor?
Yes it was a doctor, but as said in another post that elderly female doctor has retired. If it was that doc it would have been we believe and respect her. But now since another male doctor has come, she is afraid if he will tell her parents.

[Sapphire]

To my knowledge, doctor patient confidentiality can't be broken under your friends circumstances. Family are not classed to be under great risk of contracting HIV from her and so they cannot be told about it.

She needs to get put on some medication now, for her own sake.

[Katrina]

To my knowledge, doctor patient confidentiality can't be broken under your friends circumstances.

If this is true, it will be really great. I will tell her to go into medication immediately.

[Magus]

I am truly sorry for your friend. But what happened, happened. But what we need now is to help her and her friend.

Also, a disaster such as this can't be hidden from the Parents knowledge and it will be discovered.

Don't leave her alone, and that's one thing.

[burnout]

aaaa

[Kaius]

Im sorry to hear about your friend. Just remember though, these days, HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence as the person above me has just stated in his post. If she keeps to her medication, and regular check up's with her doctor she will be ok. Her parents however, although they are strict on that particular subject, once your friend tells them and they think it through im sure they will support her in whatever she decides to do. All you can do at the moment is be there for her, support her and be her friend.

[Sapphire]

Im sorry to hear about your friend. Just remember though, these days, HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence as the person above me has just stated in his post. If she keeps to her medication, and regular check up's with her doctor she will be ok. Her parents however, although they are strict on that particular subject, once your friend tells them and they think it through im sure they will support her in whatever she decides to do. All you can do at the moment is be there for her, support her and be her friend.
The benefit that medication for HIV carries is that they enable you to live for a hell of a lot longer (decades upon decades) than if you were to leave it go untreated.
However, it must be understood that it doesn't prevent you from ever getting AIDs. All it takes is for your immune system to be weakened enough and for you to contract what have been termed "AIDs defining infections".
If you have HIV then the chances are that you will get AIDs. But medication can help you live a long and happy life during which you can accomplish so much.

[Kaius]

:P That's what i was meaning, I phrased it wrong, its not a death sentence now, it prolongs your life. There is also a drug i was told about by two representatives who gave a talk on HIV at my college, that can change AID's back into HIV If treated quickly enough.

[Katrina]

Yesterday I took my friend to the doctor who tested her and he promised that he will not let this out to anyone and he pledged his full support to us. He even said that he will see my friend as his sister and will do whatever is within his limits. But he said that her immune system is more than 70% gone and she has to take every care to prevent any other infection.

[Sapphire]

I'm so so glad that you took her to the doctor! He sounds brilliant.

Your friend needs to be really careful and to really look after herself now though - especially considering how low her immune system is. That means she needs to avoid stress as well as avoiding people with illnesses (even something as mild as a cold).
So I would advise her not to tell her parents atm.
If she decides that she wants to tell them then try to encourage her to do so when her immune system is stronger and she can cope with any stress that may come without weakening her body's already weakened defenses.

How are you holding up?
This is some very heavy news to hear from your best friend and I would imagine it takes some time to digest as well. She needs support through this and, if you are going to continue to support her, you will need it too.
Do you have someone who can help you in any way?

[Katrina]

I'm so so glad that you took her to the doctor! He sounds brilliant.

Your friend needs to be really careful and to really look after herself now though - especially considering how low her immune system is. That means she needs to avoid stress as well as avoiding people with illnesses (even something as mild as a cold).
So I would advise her not to tell her parents atm.
If she decides that she wants to tell them then try to encourage her to do so when her immune system is stronger and she can cope with any stress that may come without weakening her body's already weakened defenses.

How are you holding up?
This is some very heavy news to hear from your best friend and I would imagine it takes some time to digest as well. She needs support through this and, if you are going to continue to support her, you will need it too.
Do you have someone who can help you in any way?
Thanks for your valuable info.
In fact we both are planning to meet a councilor. She is more mentally down as her BF is neglecting her completely.

[Sapphire]

It's not a problem, Katrina.
I'm glad you are both going to get support.
This is all such a real testament to your friendship. It's actually made me shed a few tears and I am not the type to get emotional like that about things I read on forums.

The boyfriend doesn't sound like the type of person she needs in her life at all, especially now.

[Katrina]

Problems after problems:(.
Today her mother has started coughing, probably due to common cold. So I have been able to take my friend to my house to stay in the pretext of studying together. But I don't know how long we could do it, because common cold can take up to 2 weeks to get completely cured.

[Sapphire]

Oh dear. That's not good.

I'd advise her to buy some vitamin C tablets as well as some echinacea tablets. They both benefit the immune system and should protect her a bit from her mum's cold.
When at home, she should take extra care to wash her hands if she has touched surfaces (tables, telephones etc) the bacteria could have settled before touching her eyes, nose and mouth. This should reduce her chances of catching it off of her mum.
Maybe she should also buy a mild antibacterial solution so she can clean the computer mouse, fridge handle, kitchen and bathroom surfaces etc.

Combine that with a healthy lifestyle (exercise, proper sleeping patterns and regular, healthy meals) and she will hopefully be able to avoid getting a cold.

[JDB_95]

To my knowledge, doctor patient confidentiality can't be broken under your friends circumstances. Family are not classed to be under great risk of contracting HIV from her and so they cannot be told about it.



[QUOTE=Katrina;797449]If this is true, it will be really great. I will tell her to go into medication immediately.

It's the law tht doctors have to keep confidentiallitly with their patients unless they really believe the patients parents should know and i think in this case as (i think not to sure though) HIV can be passed through contact of blood on open wounds her parents would be notified but HIV is no longer a death sentence as long as she sticks to her medication

[Sapphire]

It's the law tht doctors have to keep confidentiallitly with their patients unless they really believe the patients parents should know and i think in this case as (i think not to sure though) HIV can be passed through contact of blood on open wounds her parents would be notified but HIV is no longer a death sentence as long as she sticks to her medicationAs I said before, families are not deemed to be at great risk and so cannot be told.

And anyway, maybe you should read the thread properly...
Yesterday I took my friend to the doctor who tested her and he promised that he will not let this out to anyone and he pledged his full support to us.