congressman94
February 22nd, 2010, 08:11 PM
As some of you might know, I've moved here to Canada 4 years ago from the Phillippines. (BTW DAMN YOU AMERICANS!!!....we lost the hockey match yesterday, well might as well pack up...) anyway.... I have been good friends with this girl who I have known for nearly 9 years. I remember the first time I saw her in Grade 2 (cute huh?). I knew a guy that got picked on (for jokes) because he liked this girl... I was still new and they kept on talking about this girl and stuff, days passed by and we were eventually put into split classes. As soon as I came in the new classroom, I see this girl sitting about 3 chairs away and I soon get this weird, shy feeling running through me. She eventually starts looking at me and eventually I do to. I was given the seat beside her and we eventually started this game of peeking. Months later, a huge school production was in our auditorium, the whole place was dark and jam packed, I then sat in the bleachers...alone when I realize that I have sat beside this girl. I got pretty panicky...one thing led to another and we started talking...I got to know her pretty well. We were'nt friends yet though as she was possied with the "popular" kids and I was well..."un-popular" kids. I've always liked her and I guess that she did too in return. During our Easter Mass when it was the section where we pray/sing the Our Father, (we sing it back home.) everyone in the school started joining hands (which is traditional in the Catholic Church <mostly the Philippines>) and guess who I sat beside with, I sat beside her and I got to hold her hand for the first time, I was sweating and nervous and I notice that everyone around us (her friends and my friends) started looking at us... It felt so weird as I know that my friends are the only ones that know that I like her, how could her friends know.....unless....:P Well let's zoom back a couple of years to the present and we are good friends, We still keep close bonds and joke here and there on Facebook. Thanks to the people here on VT commenting on my previous posts, I decided to try and let this feeling for her go away. But ever since that happened, I've noticed that I've been having weird mood swings, low grades, and really bad self-esteem. I've reflected on how I treated her as my muse and inspiration (in my art and studies), I've lost it but I don't want to gain back that feeling as it seems pathetic and desperate, as she was the only girl that ever understood me , i've never found anyone else. She is currently being "wooed" by this guy, flirting with her (on her Facebook, im no stalker its the news update thing!), he goes to the same school as her (my old school), I know she likes me but I really have no chance to fight against that guy as I'm all the way here and he's with here back home... I just feel like shit now and I just wanted some sort of release...:whoops: well thanks guys for listening to this whole essay... (ironic how i've been doing bad on them lately):lol:
*Ive just been listening to The Man Who Cant Be Moved by the Script, been helping me release all this....
*Ive just been listening to The Man Who Cant Be Moved by the Script, been helping me release all this....