Rape as a slang word

[Sapphire]

I'd like to start off by saying that this can be full of triggers for people with certain histories. So, if you are likely to get triggered by this debate, please make sure you are safe before you read/reply at any point.



When people use the word "rape" as a slang word, are they actually thinking about what they are saying?

An example, "I totally raped him at that game!"

People can be very affected by hearing others use this word so freely and with a much more positive meaning.

It has been argued in relation to other slang words that those getting offended should just grow a thicker skin because the intention to offend isn't there.

So, my question is this: Should we be actively discouraging the use of "rape" as a slang term or should we be telling people to "stop being so sensitive"?

[JackOfClubs]

People need to be less sensitive. Its used as a slang word. Though I rarely use it, I have friends that say it regularly, and it doesn't affect me at all.

Its a helluva a lot better than "OMGz i fukin pwnd youz at CODz last night1!!1!!!" anyway.

[Sapphire]

People need to be less sensitive. Its used as a slang word. Though I rarely use it, I have friends that say it regularly, and it doesn't affect me at all.Could the fact that you aren't affected by it be because you haven't been a rape victim?
Lots of rape victims are affected by it. Is it really fair or just to tell them that they have to be less sensitive about this use of the word?

Its a helluva a lot better than "OMGz i fukin pwnd youz at CODz last night1!!1!!!" anyway.
How is it better?

[Iron Man]

I`ve never heard the word rape as a slang word.

[Camazotz]

Rape is a word, just like any other. It's similar to describe something bad as "cancer," could affect a cancer patient or someone affected cancer. We should have a large enough vocabulary that people use words that won't offend as much people. But people will say what they want, and if they don't care about offending someone, that's their problem.

[ChaoticHarmony]

as much as i hate to admit it, people dont care about who they hurt. especially someone who uses slang like that regularly. if you were to tell them to stop, they'd prolly laugh in your face. its an unfortunate quality the world has developed, but its one nonetheless. i would like to say yes, people should stop saying that and we should be the ones to tell them so, but no one will listen simply because they dont care

[Watchfulness]

Yes, the meaning and intended usage differs on the context.

[Sapphire]

Yes, the meaning and intended usage differs on the context.
Yes what?

[JackOfClubs]

Could the fact that you aren't affected by it be because you haven't been a rape victim?
Lots of rape victims are affected by it. Is it really fair or just to tell them that they have to be less sensitive about this use of the word?
I know there are people that have been raped and are affected by the word "rape" when used in that context. If they are affected they should tell the person and then, if that person has any sort of conscience whatsoever, they should stop.


How is it better?
I said that in jest.

[Sapphire]

I know there are people that have been raped and are affected by the word "rape" when used in that context. If they are affected they should tell the person and then, if that person has any sort of conscience whatsoever, they should stop.That's quite a bit different to what your first post said tbh.

[Perseus]

I use rape as a slang word. I'll be like, "man, I just raped that guy in the face!" etc., or I'll be like, "Man, I just got raped in the face.."
The word is just being used in a different context. It basically means pwn'd severely. I mean, I use it all the time because it adds to the effect of how bad I pwn'd a person in a videogame, etc.

[2D]

I use it every now and then with a certain group of friends that don't get offended by it. But I watch my tongue elsewhere. I generally do that a lot. I can say anything with that group of friend and we just laugh it up. It's a nice stress reliever. Just yelling anything. But as I said, I watch my tongue around people I don't know on a personal level.

[littlerascal]

I use it every now and then with a certain group of friends that don't get offended by it. But I watch my tongue elsewhere. I generally do that a lot. I can say anything with that group of friend and we just laugh it up. It's a nice stress reliever. Just yelling anything. But as I said, I watch my tongue around people I don't know on a personal level.

Same...

However, my general feelings are to suck it up...it's a word. Words don't bother me, but I guess I'm not easily offended. I say all the offensive words...nigger, fag, gay, cunt, etc...they are just words...they only have the meaning you give them. It annoys me when people say words are just as an effective weapon as anything else...you'll never get me down with words.

[CourageWolf]

People need to suck it up. It's a word, if you want to somehow take it completely out of the context it's meant in and get offended by it I'm sorry but you're a fool. It's not like people are running up to rape victims saying "Oh shiitt, you just got raped bitch".

[Underground_Network]

It was used in history. "The Rape of Nanking" occurred in the late 30's.

So it's not really modern slang. People were offended by it back then, people are still offended by it now.

I'm not even sure it's true slang. It's more like a figure of speech, if you take note of the fact that it's been used throughout the 20th and 21st centuries and, though I don't recall the book, was used metaphorically in at least one book of high literary merit.

That's not to say it's right to use the word the way people have been using it... But so many words are used, abused and twisted in today's society that there's no point bitching about it. It may sting one's ears to hear the word "rape" being misused, but it's just how our society has grown to be. Deal with it, and if you can't, by earmuffs or earplugs, because you're bound to hear things you'd rather not hear every once in awhile. People abuse words like "rape" in the "wrong" context all the time.

[Bluearmy]

The word rape should not be found as offensive to rape victims. At least, not in those contexts. If a person who was shot heard someone else scream into an Xbox mic "I shot you in the face byotch!" they wouldn't be offended.

[quartermaster]

It was used in history. "The Rape of Nanking" occurred in the late 30's.



Rape does not necessarily mean to physically force intercourse, it also means to plunder, pillage or abuse; with that said, the "Rape of Nanking" is not the use of slang, but is a more “shocking” way of saying the "Pillage of Nanking." Even then, the countless amounts of women that were brutally raped by Japanese soldiers may also justify the name of the event in the commonly understood sense, as well.

In that idea, using the word "rape" can be taken in many ways, but in a true sense of the word, it may not even truly be being used as slang; using it (rape) in another context, one could say "I just ravished you" or "I just forcefully abused you," in terms of game play or sports (it would be figurative, but perhaps not “slang”). The use of the word "rape" may perhaps be offensive to those who have been raped (and understandably so), but it should be noted, that the forceful exercise of sex upon another person is not its only definition.

[Leprachaun]

I have never heard rape being used as slang, but some people have a weird thing in school; going round shouting rape at each other or something and tbh sometimes it is quite funny.

[Sapphire]

I use rape as a slang word. I'll be like, "man, I just raped that guy in the face!" etc., or I'll be like, "Man, I just got raped in the face.."
The word is just being used in a different context. It basically means pwn'd severely. I mean, I use it all the time because it adds to the effect of how bad I pwn'd a person in a videogame, etc.I know how people define it. I'm interested in people's attitudes as to the acceptability of its use and who should be discouraged from using/reacting to the word.

People need to suck it up. It's a word, if you want to somehow take it completely out of the context it's meant in and get offended by it I'm sorry but you're a fool. It's not like people are running up to rape victims saying "Oh shiitt, you just got raped bitch".
The word rape should not be found as offensive to rape victims. At least, not in those contexts. If a person who was shot heard someone else scream into an Xbox mic "I shot you in the face byotch!" they wouldn't be offended.I'm not talking primarily about people getting offended. The people I am really thinking about are those who have been raped and are triggered by hearing people saying to each other "Ah, I just raped you!" (The term "triggered" refers to how one event can set off a negative state within an individual like a flashback.) And this does get said to rape victims because not every victim is open about their past so it is that people are saying it to them. They are just in the dark completely about the past of person they are saying it to.

The use of the word "rape" may perhaps be offensive to those who have been raped (and understandably so), but it should be noted, that the forceful exercise of sex upon another person is not its only definition.
Taking that into account, what is your stance on this?

[Perseus]

I'm not talking primarily about people getting offended. The people I am really thinking about are those who have been raped and are triggered by hearing people saying to each other "Ah, I just raped you!" (The term "triggered" refers to how one event can set off a negative state within an individual like a flashback.) And this does get said to rape victims because not every victim is open about their past so it is that people are saying it to them. They are just in the dark completely about the past of person they are saying it to.

Most of the time when "rape" is used as not meaning the textbook definition of rape, it's usually said in online videogames. I don't hear people at school use at all, and I've never met any rape victims on online games, but I can see it as triggering something, but I don't see it as offensive or anything.

[CourageWolf]

I'm not talking primarily about people getting offended. The people I am really thinking about are those who have been raped and are triggered by hearing people saying to each other "Ah, I just raped you!" (The term "triggered" refers to how one event can set off a negative state within an individual like a flashback.) And this does get said to rape victims because not every victim is open about their past so it is that people are saying it to them. They are just in the dark completely about the past of person they are saying it to.

Well if someone got raped on a train and I said "Hey, look a train!" it could have the same effect. Don't get me wrong, If I knew I was bringing back flashbacks or really emotionally hurting a rape victim by saying it, I would definitely stop using it around that person. I was just referring to the people who are like "omg rapes wrong, you shouldn't say it like that", not actual rape victims.

[deadpie]

Whats worse is when people say rape as in a joke. Ex: "Don't drop the soap!"

No, people don't think before they say anything. It's wrong, and it's aggravating when your a victim. I had to sit in a class room for fifteen minutes listening to students make up "buttfuck" jokes, and I couldn't help but just start shivering.
People should think before they something in public.
Truthfully, it's harder for a victim to just walk over to someone saying it and say, "That's offensive". Mainly because, fuck. I wouldn't want people guessing that I went threw anything like that. So i just sit back and wait for it to stop.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Rape is used as a slang word?

Great.

Lovely world this is.

[2D]

No, people don't think before they say anything. It's wrong, and it's aggravating when your a victim. I had to sit in a class room for fifteen minutes listening to students make up "buttfuck" jokes, and I couldn't help but just start shivering.
People should think before they something in public.
Truthfully, it's harder for a victim to just walk over to someone saying it and say, "That's offensive". Mainly because, fuck. I wouldn't want people guessing that I went threw anything like that. So i just sit back and wait for it to stop.

This is why I watch what I say around people who I don't know on a personal level. I don't mention anything to do with abuse to an abused person, I don't mention rape to a rape victim, I don't mention anything to someone that could bring up painful memories. And if I don't know them I just stay away from touchy subjects.

[littlerascal]

Well if someone got raped on a train and I said "Hey, look a train!" it could have the same effect.

This...

Words get the definition each individual gives them. Train is obviously not an offensive word, but it could easily trigger someone. Any word can be a trigger to someone.

[deadpie]

This...

Words get the definition each individual gives them. Train is obviously not an offensive word, but it could easily trigger someone. Any word can be a trigger to someone.

Yes, that is true, but that doesn't make it ok for people to joke about rape.

[littlerascal]

Yes, that is true, but that doesn't make it ok for people to joke about rape.

I don't joke about rape...however, I still use it as slang quite a lot. Joking about anything is alright if you do it around the right people. I'd never say a racist joke in front of a black person unless I know they are alright with it.

[BeautifulDisaster]

The definition of rape is being RAPED.
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO THE DEFINITION OF A TRAIN.

It's not supposed to be used in the context of a joke, it's supposed to be used to describe a traumatizing, horrifying, life ruining experience, naturally you'd define it as something triggering/bad for someone.

Comparing the definition of train and rape is like comparing an apple to an orange.

[CourageWolf]

The definition of rape is being RAPED.
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO THE DEFINITION OF A TRAIN.

It's not supposed to be used in the context of a joke, it's supposed to be used to describe a traumatizing, horrifying, life ruining experience, naturally you'd define it as something triggering/bad for someone.

Comparing the definition of train and rape is like comparing an apple to an orange.

I didn't compare the definition of rape to the definition of train...

I also never said I use it in the context of a joke. It's not like I run around yelling out rape jokes in public.

[BeautifulDisaster]

No, but there was talk about train being a trigger if someone was raped on a train, causing the trigger, rape is defined as being raped, so of course it'll be a flipping trigger, with train it's not as obvious because train isn't defined as being subjected to something so traumatic and horrifying, rape is.

[INFERNO]

If we take the route of discouraging the use of the word "rape" for contexts other than actual physical rape, then this opens the door to doing the exact same for other words that may trigger someone if the word refers to a traumatizing event. I'm a believer of free speech and so I'd say to only discourage it being used as slang when the history of the listeners are known. That is, if I know the person I'm talking to was raped before, I'm not going to use "rape" in a slang sense because I find that to be a mockery to what the person endured. Telling him/her to be less sensitive would be immoral.

If the listener was not raped, then I'd still discourage it only because I wouldn't know if the listener was indirectly affected (i.e. knew someone close who was raped) or finds it to be a sensitive subject. Telling him/her to be less sensitive would be akin to going to a Catholic church during a sermon and telling the priest to be less Catholic. It's an unreasonable request.

So, with this all said and done, I'd probably would not discourage its use in slang if I knew the person was not affected by it in such a context.

I keep saying "if I knew" because I'm fine with having it used in a slang context but only to a certain point. For example, if someone said "I raped Bob in that game", I'm fine with that but if it's used in a context to insult someone, especially if the person is affected by that usage, such as "Quit whining over being raped in the game", then I'd discourage it.

So in general, I discourage it for myself because I don't know the history of the listener in most cases. If they are affected by it, then telling them to be less sensitive to it (i.e. if they're a victim to rape) is horrible. When it comes to discouraging its slang use by others, that's where I get a bit uncertain because if they want to use it in such a slang context, then I don't see why I should tell them otherwise. If they say it only a few times, then why not let them go with the context it's in but if they constantly use it, then I'd remind them just what the physical concept of rape is and that it's not something one should casually toss around.

[Evermore]

If hearing the word rape would get someone upset to a point that it becomes an issue they should seek a psychiatrist.

[Sapphire]

Most of the time when "rape" is used as not meaning the textbook definition of rape, it's usually said in online videogames. I don't hear people at school use at all, and I've never met any rape victims on online games, but I can see it as triggering something, but I don't see it as offensive or anything.And how do you know that you haven't met a rape victim in an online game, I wonder...

This is why I watch what I say around people who I don't know on a personal level. I don't mention anything to do with abuse to an abused person, I don't mention rape to a rape victim, I don't mention anything to someone that could bring up painful memories. And if I don't know them I just stay away from touchy subjects.This is, IMO, the best way to approach things.

My granddad used to say that politics and religion are the two topics you shouldn't discuss in public because it is so easy to offend someone when you are ignorant as to their beliefs or approach to things.
That's not to say that we can't exercise our right to freedom of speech and protest things or debate things in public spaces. Just to be considerate while we are doing it.

So in general, I discourage it for myself because I don't know the history of the listener in most cases. If they are affected by it, then telling them to be less sensitive to it (i.e. if they're a victim to rape) is horrible. When it comes to discouraging its slang use by others, that's where I get a bit uncertain because if they want to use it in such a slang context, then I don't see why I should tell them otherwise. If they say it only a few times, then why not let them go with the context it's in but if they constantly use it, then I'd remind them just what the physical concept of rape is and that it's not something one should casually toss around.That is a very reasonable approach to your personal use of it.

If hearing the word rape would get someone upset to a point that it becomes an issue they should seek a psychiatrist.Who's to say that they aren't getting help?
The fact is that something like this can cause them more problems in their recovery than is remotely necessary.

[Perseus]

And how do you know that you haven't met a rape victim in an online game, I wonder...

I'm not one to generalize, but many girls do not play video games, especially online ones. I have only met a handful of girls on Xbox LIVE, and even then, I don't talk to them. And if I'm not with my friends I usually don't talk, so I never have encountered a rape victim on Xbox LIVE that I'm aware of. Sure, there is still a possibility since I've played with thousands of people, but I don't talk about certain things with random people, i.e., religion and such things.

[Sapphire]

Jake, have you ever considered the fact that not all rape victims are female?

[Perseus]

Jake, have you ever considered the fact that not all rape victims are female?

Yes, I have.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Seems you haven't if you are saying just females.

[Mzor203]

A word is only what you make out of it. You can choose to make something different out of it at any time. It's easier to change yourself than try to change the way the rest of the world goes about things.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Nobody is saying for the world to change how they go about things, just unfortunate that the world is ignorant, idiotic and arrogant, shame that there isn't much we can do about the world at large, but like you say, it's easier to change yourself than the world, the sooner the people in this world change themselves, the easier this world will be to live in.

[Perseus]

Seems you haven't if you are saying just females.

Whenever I hear "rape" used in the text book defiintion, I think of women, not men. I'm sorry that angers you.
I know men can be raped, but I haven't see it a case on the news or anything because, y'know, not many guys are going to report that because it hurts their pride and stuff.

[littlerascal]

Whenever I hear "rape" used in the text book defiintion, I think of women, not men. I'm sorry that angers you.
I know men can be raped, but I haven't see it a case on the news or anything because, y'know, not many guys are going to report that because it hurts their pride and stuff.

By the definition, only women can be raped...men can be sodomized and molested but not raped.

[Perseus]

By the definition, only women can be raped...men can be sodomized and molested but not raped.

Yes, I am aware of that as that is the law in Georgia, but I decided not to bring that up.

[littlerascal]

Yes, I am aware of that as that is the law in Georgia, but I decided not to bring that up.

No problem...I wasn't just addressing that to you...I was bringing it up for anyone who thought differently.

[Perseus]

No problem...I wasn't just addressing that to you...I was bringing it up for anyone who thought differently.

Oh, all right. My bad, lol. It's that you quoted me, so I thought you were directing it towards me.

[INFERNO]

Whenever I hear "rape" used in the text book defiintion, I think of women, not men. I'm sorry that angers you.
I know men can be raped, but I haven't see it a case on the news or anything because, y'know, not many guys are going to report that because it hurts their pride and stuff.

By the definition, only women can be raped...men can be sodomized and molested but not raped.

That used to be the definition but it's been changed because in order for that to be true, the law is then sexist. Men can get domestically abused just as much as women do and they can also get raped, although it's unsure on the exact amount because so few report it. However, there are also scientific studies showing that men do get raped. For example... (all are research articles or books)

LINK 1 (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6V7N-45Y7MT9-M&_user=10&_coverDate=12%2F31%2F1990&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_searchStrId=1219824346&_rerunOrigin=scholar.google&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=93bad862672844c9309fb049d2535cfc)

LINK 2 (http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=Ws2-t5u8030C&oi=fnd&pg=PA79&dq=Finkelhor&ots=oysSpLkvFF&sig=9OuJ2SbPtwujEV4ZstaZrlPS4bA#v=onepage&q=Finkelhor&f=false)

LINK 3 (http://jiv.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/2/3/309)

LINK 4 (http://www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=72986)

In other words, if you look at the links, since (and possibly before) 1979, research has been going on for male victims of rape. Hence, yes it can and does happen.

[Suicune]

As my parents used to say: "Watch your mouth." I don't necessarily have a problem with the word "rape" being used the way it is in slang, unless it's not intended and not directed at an actual person that's been affected. I mean, keep it as a phrase between your friends like "Oh my God I raped you in that game!" Or something like that. I wouldn't go saying it as a general word in public because you never know what actual rape victim will hear you. But since this is America what can you do?

[BeautifulDisaster]

Men can be raped, women get raped in other areas and it's still considered rape, so can men.

[Sapphire]

Whenever I hear "rape" used in the text book defiintion, I think of women, not men. I'm sorry that angers you.
I know men can be raped, but I haven't see it a case on the news or anything because, y'know, not many guys are going to report that because it hurts their pride and stuff.If you had actually put "male rape" into Google before posting then you would have seen that about 3% of the men in America have been victim to rape. I also dare say that if you had gone on to the CNN website (or another news site) and searched for it, you would have found articles about it.

By the definition, only women can be raped...men can be sodomized and molested but not raped.That is an inaccurate generalisation.
In this country (and in many others) rape is having their "vagina, anus or mouth intentionally penetrated with another persons penis".
Some define male rape as "any kind of sexual assault that involves forced penetration of the anus or mouth by a penis, finger or any other object." (http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32361)

[Perseus]

If you had actually put "male rape" into Google before posting then you would have seen that about 3% of the men in America have been victim to rape. I also dare say that if you had gone on to the CNN website (or another news site) and searched for it, you would have found articles about it.


I dind't say that men don't get raped, I just said that I've never seen anything that has sparked news attention. I don't have time to search for statistics, especially since I knowthat men do get raped.

[BeautifulDisaster]

You don't tend to get a lot of rape of women on the news nowadays either, not from what I see anyway, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen every single day.

[Sapphire]

I dind't say that men don't get raped, I just said that I've never seen anything that has sparked news attention. I don't have time to search for statistics, especially since I knowthat men do get raped.
My point was that a significant amount of men do report being victims of rape and that is clear after doing some simple 5 minute searches on the internet.
I was also getting at what I suspect to be a sporadic and selective approach to news articles on your part which would go some way to explaining why you haven't come across reports of male rape.

[Mental]

I notice a lot of people are uneasy around the word "rape" being used as an every-day-slang word, but it's kinda because of this, some kids feel more 'cool' saying it. But I don't think anyone intends to use the word "rape" to offend anyone or make the crime itself some kind of joke. It's like people who go around saying 'nigger'. I've seen white people/animals/objects being referred to as 'nigger' and we all know how high profile that word is.

I'm fine with it being used as general slang. So like "I raped my friend on Call of Duty last night!". But it crosses the line when it's actually being used to make an actual rape joke. So. For example: some stud saying "I'd just love to rape that girl/hoe/bitch" about a girl he thinks is hot. I've heard it a few times, but thankfully not a lot.

[Nelson]

I got murdered by one of my english teachers for using the word rape in a speech, when it was totally relevant to the topic, Yes some people should lighten up, but then theres the issue that people have been raped, it traumatized them and it can bring back horrid memories

So i really dont have a side on this :S

[overcome.]

I thought about this recently. There will always be people out there, whether they're a comedian or a regular person, who will come up with jokes about other peoples misfortunes and sensitive topics. Now, I'm not saying that they'd come up with jokes about getting raped, but these sorts of issues will be discussed. This is an example though of how things are said by people that is often considered by others as inappropiate and insensitive.

People will say it, but I don't agree with it. It depends on your opinions or views on the word being used. If it's close to home, then you won't like it. If the word has meaning that has affected you or a love one then you most likely won't be amused. I'm not amused when people throw 'cancer' around, as in "go die, go get cancer" or something like that.

Rape has damaged a lot of peoples lives, I don't see it as something to joke about or throw around loosely.

[Giles]

I think that around people that you don't know too well, using it as slang should be avoided. If you're around a group of friends that all use it and none of them have been involved in anything like that then I see no problem with it.

I do generally think that people should stop being so sensitive. It's not intended to offend so I think they should just shut up and get on with it. Obviously if something has happened to them then fair enough, be upset.

[littlerascal]

If you had actually put "male rape" into Google before posting then you would have seen that about 3% of the men in America have been victim to rape. I also dare say that if you had gone on to the CNN website (or another news site) and searched for it, you would have found articles about it.

That is an inaccurate generalisation.
In this country (and in many others) rape is having their "vagina, anus or mouth intentionally penetrated with another persons penis".
Some define male rape as "any kind of sexual assault that involves forced penetration of the anus or mouth by a penis, finger or any other object." (http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32361)

The legal definition I go by in America is sodomy. Sodomy is anal or oral penetration by a penis, fingers or any other object. It's not an inaccurate generalization, it's a legal definition.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Rape has destroyed lives, just as murder has destroyed lives, I don't get why anyone would throw these words around lightly.

(mention murder because a lot of because say "I got murdered")

[Sapphire]

The legal definition I go by in America is sodomy. Sodomy is anal or oral penetration by a penis, fingers or any other object. It's not an inaccurate generalization, it's a legal definition.
It is an inaccurate generalisation since it is only applicable to certain states and you are talking as if it were the only legal definition ever used.