1_21Guns
February 20th, 2010, 09:32 PM
You can fake a smile, live on the hope a million and one dreams will come true, you can tell the world you've seen nothing but the beautiful. But underneath the colours painted by a thousand lies, you'll see that you've been used, betrayed, torn and hated by those you trusted the most. When faced with the black and white of a situation, you realise every chance you threw away, might just of been your last.
I'm not sure what thats all about, something I wrote at random as the description for a picture I just edited, but anyway.
I just feel like cutting, for the sake of cutting.
I just feel like dieing, because there seems to be nothing but dead end streets wherever I turn.
Its already nearly March, and my lifes just flashing away.
Heart to heart conversations are great - but not when you don't know who to trust.
And when trusting someone fully drains so much of you, then knowing they might abuse your trust makes you feel like trust is just a waste of time.
Everyone seems to be changing, everything seems so different... except me.
Its easy even for me to forget that i'm still severly depressed. I start to break free from it, then something happens that knocks me straight back.
I'm not going to do anything daft, I know better now. I just needed to vent again.
Nothing feels real anymore... it all seems so fake... so much like a dream.
Its hard to think back to this time last year, when it finally felt like i'd got my life on track to realise it was just falling deeper.
What are you supposed to do, when all you have left is slowly falling away from you and even though they say they'll always be there for you, you know its just a lie, because you could never fully open up to them in fear of them seeing who you really are. Then those you trusted, just fuck you over and then no matter how many times they fuck you over, you still care too much to hurt them.
Who am I fooling? I don't know who I am, all I know is that I hate it.
Change is a powerful thing, it can make or break things.
Now I don't know where to go or what to do anymore. It all seems so wasted.
I'm not sure what thats all about, something I wrote at random as the description for a picture I just edited, but anyway.
I just feel like cutting, for the sake of cutting.
I just feel like dieing, because there seems to be nothing but dead end streets wherever I turn.
Its already nearly March, and my lifes just flashing away.
Heart to heart conversations are great - but not when you don't know who to trust.
And when trusting someone fully drains so much of you, then knowing they might abuse your trust makes you feel like trust is just a waste of time.
Everyone seems to be changing, everything seems so different... except me.
Its easy even for me to forget that i'm still severly depressed. I start to break free from it, then something happens that knocks me straight back.
I'm not going to do anything daft, I know better now. I just needed to vent again.
Nothing feels real anymore... it all seems so fake... so much like a dream.
Its hard to think back to this time last year, when it finally felt like i'd got my life on track to realise it was just falling deeper.
What are you supposed to do, when all you have left is slowly falling away from you and even though they say they'll always be there for you, you know its just a lie, because you could never fully open up to them in fear of them seeing who you really are. Then those you trusted, just fuck you over and then no matter how many times they fuck you over, you still care too much to hurt them.
Who am I fooling? I don't know who I am, all I know is that I hate it.
Change is a powerful thing, it can make or break things.
Now I don't know where to go or what to do anymore. It all seems so wasted.