Nearly suicidal...

[iCookie Jar]

I'll start by saying that there have been about seven occasions where I've though of committing suicide. On one occasion I've even attempted it. But I'd like to say "never again" but I've truley lost hope.

I think I will make what resembles a questionnair (not how you spell it but oh well) and ask you to answer at the end.

1). My mum has met this bloke who treats her like the shit he drags into the house, and I'm not talking about his daughter.
His daughter acts as though she is the greatest person on earth. She gets away with everything! She was exposing herself to old men for money and she's only 14.

2). I came out to my best friend, hoping he would keep the secret. Instead he tells everyone, claiming his five minuets of fame at the price of complete loss of trust. Now him and I aren't talking at all. It's as if he's my worst enemy.

3). Because of this, I feel as though every one is against me. People make jokes and snide remarks to see if they get a reaction from me. Once I completly lost it and beat up this girl who asked I I'd found "a bum buddy" yet. So now the hate for me is slowly growing around school.

4). The guy who I fancy is compltley against me because it turns out he's the biggest homophobe in the school and when we're in PE all the boys steal my gym clothes and pretend to fuck eachother etc.

5). The one person I truley loved, I let slip away. And when I told him how I felt he and his friends beat me up, even though I'd just had an op on my bladder.

It's times like these when I wish I could curl up, fall asleep and never ever wake up. What do you all think? Acceptable, or complete over exageration. Do I deserve to have everyone hate me. And by everyon, I mean my year group at school. I'm like an outcast. Thanks in advance for all the help

[BeautifulDisaster]

I've tried to kill myself more than 40 times, and I've come to realize... the effort it takes to kill yourself(trust me, IT'S A LOT! The body is EXTREMELY resilient), could be put into living & trying to get through the hard times, because despite how much it feels like things won't get any better, it will.

Instead of focusing on killing yourself, and attempting it, or planning it, try and put that effort into living, and things you could do to make it better for you.


I was bullied quite severely in school, very much so the outcast, but soon, you'll be out of school, and you won't need to worry about them.

1).
His daughter sounds very troubled. Exposing yourself to men is very serious, for someone so young, even more so. Perhaps she needs some help? Sounds like she does.
Please don't judge her on that though, she could have some very serious problems going on.

2).
Not a good friend by the sounds of it, don't speak to him again, sounds very untrustworthy and to be honest, shit.
You can do better than that.

3).
I don't agree with violence, so please try and resist the urge to physically attack someone, girl or boy, it's wrong.
I'd also suggest not giving them what they want; a reaction.
It'll fuel the fire.
Can you tell anyone? A teacher?

4).
Sounds very difficult.
They sound extremely immature, but again, can you tell anyone?
Do teachers know, or even notice?
They can get into a lot of trouble for what they are doing simply because you're not straight.

5).
I'd suggest staying away from those people then, they sound very immature and it is very wrong what they are doing.

But don't let them take away your life, go out there and show them that you're not going to let them win, prove them wrong, don't give them any reaction, any satisfaction.
That's what bullies feed off of.

I'd also suggest seeing a counselor about your feelings.

[Beautiful Obsession]

Agree with everything beautifil disaster said, you cant let these people take away your life, you need to show them your stronger than they are, you need to talk to someone about this, i know right now that might not seem like the best idea as what your mate has just done, but what about a teacher? a family member?

This will end babe, you just need to show how strong you are. xx

[Scarface]

please heed my word when i say do not commit suicide please pm me if you need someone to talk to i have tried to commit suicide and i'm glad i didn't because now i have such a better life

[nick]

Sorry to read that, it sounds as if you are in a pretty homophobic school there. Are you in year 10 or year 11? If you're in year 11 then you should be able to change school after the summer, for 6th form, without any real disruption to your course. In the mean time maybe you should talk to your school councellor or head of year, dont just accept the bullying by saying nothing.

Stay strong and dont give in. PM me if you want contact details to talk to me anytime.

[CuriousDestruction]

well, nobody should have to have all that stuff happen to them. im so sorry. you still shouldn't curl up in a ball and die. things will get better in time. soon you'll get out of school and you'll have lots of new opportunities to meet new people, people who don't know you or your loudmouth friend. stay strong and PM anyone here if you wanna talk yeah?