A broken Promise

[Seeker94]

It always seems that everyday follows up with more pain. The reasons for the pain always lead to one thing and I just cant seem to quit. My friend that I have told almost always crys if she finds out others want to slap me for doing it but my gma made me promise to not do it anymore yet I cant help it...I have cuts from the shoulder to my wrist and I just dont know what to do. In my opinion I deserve this punishment, I deserve it because I am not strong enough to live in this world.....I have thought of more then cutting before and I write all of these thoughts down but I want to be able to share them with someone.....someone who know's what I go through everyday, someone who knows what it means to be truely deppressed, someone who I can trust. Is there anyone on here who can be that person?

[Mr. Smithers]

Yes there are many people here that can help you. I'm really sorry that you are going through that. Don't talk bad about yourself though. Don't say that you deserve to be hurt, and that you deserve anything. We are always here to help you. If you have problem cutting, it might help to go to the No Self Harm Calender thread right here,

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=3861

[CuriousDestruction]

i agree with disco, if you have a problem there are literally TONS of resources out there to help you. they really can. if you want someone to trust you can always go to a counselor or a therapist. they will listen to you and generally understand you. if you want someone who guaranteed will understand you, go to pretty much anyone here on vt. we all have been through things in our lives. and although we may not have the exact same problems. we know what it's like to be in the middle of something like this. i'm sorry for what you are going through and i hope everything improves soon. i also just wanna ask if you've thought of telling your parents? they were teens too once and may understand you better than you think. in any case, feel free to PM me any time and i highly recommend that self-harm calendar that disco posted above.

[Seeker94]

My grandparents know and that is why the title is a broken promise because she made me promise to not cut but I couldnt keep that promise....

[BuryYourFlame]

You can keep it if you try hard enough. You never need to cut, your brain just says that you do. Everything you do is a choice, the outcome is always yours to determine.

Use that promise that you've made to your grandparents for further strength, keep them in mind when you feel weak.

Good luck.

[Seeker94]

Thanks guys

[1_21Guns]

It always seems that everyday follows up with more pain. The reasons for the pain always lead to one thing and I just cant seem to quit. My friend that I have told almost always crys if she finds out others want to slap me for doing it but my gma made me promise to not do it anymore yet I cant help it...I have cuts from the shoulder to my wrist and I just dont know what to do. In my opinion I deserve this punishment, I deserve it because I am not strong enough to live in this world.....I have thought of more then cutting before and I write all of these thoughts down but I want to be able to share them with someone.....someone who know's what I go through everyday, someone who knows what it means to be truely deppressed, someone who I can trust. Is there anyone on here who can be that person?

I know exactly how you feel, I used to and still do feel just like you do. I promised so many people i'd stop, but it never stopped me. I just kept braking the promises, hiding my scars from the people i'd promised so they'd never know I broke them. But thats no way to live a life.

If you are too weak to live in this world, then you would have never been placed on this earth. You deserve no punishment for existing, as it is no form of crime.

I'm happy to listen to you if you ever need to talk. I've been depressed for about 6 years now. I know what it feels like in some respects, and i'd never go about shouting what you told me, I won't tell anyonee.
Its up to you, I know you'll find someone though, pretty much all of us know how it feels. Just don't keep it all inside, it never helps. I've been cut free about 2 months now. It gets better.

[Scarface]

yea there are honest and trustworthy people out in the world once you find them like i have finally after years of desperately trying to make good friends you will kno