Obscene Eyedeas
February 9th, 2010, 05:37 PM
Asking for advice and getting help to stop bullying
To stop bullying - be it verbal, written, or cyber bullying - it can be helpful to tell someone that you are being bullied. This may seem scary at first, however, telling someone can lighten your load and help you to work out how to solve the problem and stop being bullied.
Talking to someone is particularly important if you feel unsafe or frightened, or if you don't have many friends. Asking for help or talking to someone about the bullying is not being weak or 'giving in'. In fact it takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help.
There are many people who might be able to help, including friends, older brothers and sisters, teachers, family, counsellors or parents.
Some tips for getting help
It might be easier if you talk to someone you know well and trust; they will give you much needed support and will often have suggestions you hadn't considered for helping with the situation.
You might feel more comfortable taking a friend with you. If you feel you might get too nervous to speak, write down what you'd like to say on paper or in an email.
If you don't feel as if you are believed or taken seriously about the bullying, or if no action is taken, it doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid or the bullying should continue. It's important you tell someone else and continue to do so until you are helped.
Being bullied can be upsetting and stressful and can affect a range of different areas of your life, including self-esteem, relationships, work or study.
How to help to work it out yourself - some tips
Depending on how bad the bullying is (and as long as you aren't feeling unsafe, frightened or physically threatened), you might decide to try and work it out yourself first. Try and remember that no matter how hard you try, the bully might not be willing to change their behaviour. This is when talking to someone else can be really helpful.
The following tips might be particularly helpful for verbal bullying:
When possible, ignore them (including mobile phone or email bullying)
Ignoring the bully may be helpful, particularly for one-off cases. Bullies are looking for a reaction from you and often lose interest if they aren't given the satisfaction of getting one.
Suggestions for ignoring the bully include:
Walk away when the bully approaches you. Try and imagine it's a friend you're walking away from - this can be a way of making sure your body language (which you're usually unaware of) doesn't give away a sense of fear.
It might help to concentrate on thinking about something else (Eg - Like what you'll do next weekend, counting to 100, or planning your homework)
Have a saying or a statement that you can repeat in your head when the bully approaches you to block out a sense of fear.
Building a wall around you
It may be helpful to build an invisible wall around you by visualising it in your mind. Whe the wall is up - imagine that any verbal abuse then just bounces off the wall.
Use visualisation
Bullies can be pretty scary. Picturing them looking silly may help to make them less problematic for you. For example, picture the bully's head shrinking and their voice coming out all tiny and squeaky.
They are human - don't give them superpowers
All bullies are human - they all get up in the morning, eat breakfast, brush their teeth and do other normal things. They have fights with their parents, feel insecure, feel scared, feel worried, and aren't perfect. They may present themselves to the world as having no worries and can act really confident - but don't be fooled. They aren't superhuman - they may be just better at hiding what's really going on inside. In fact - often bullies act the way they do to make themselves feel better. They put other people down to make themselves feel more powerful.
Stay positive
It can be hard to remember all your good points when someone is doing their best to be negative. However, try to think of all the things you do well and that you are a valuable person. Thinking of how bad the bully must be feeling may also help you to stay positive.
Hang around other people
You may be safer if you stay in groups. If you are alone, try to identify people who may offer you safety.
Be confident
Bullies usually pick on people that they think are weaker than they are, so it may help if you stand up to them.
Some suggestions are:
telling them to leave you alone may get a bully off your back
turning around and being nice to them may throw them right off
using humour may also throw the bully off track
use positive self-talk - saying to yourself something like 'I know I am better than that, I'm not like that, I don't have to pick on other people to know that I am good'
remember that your friends accept you for who you are.
Keep out of their way
It might be possible for you to avoid the bully. This can mean travelling a different way to school, or avoiding the places that they hang out. This is not giving in to bullying, but about looking after yourself and making sure you are happier and more comfortable.
Your Rights
It might be helpful to remember that everyone has the right to live, work, study and play in an environment free from bullying, harassment, discrimination and violence. No one deserves or asks to be bullied.
Bullying Information Resource List for Boys
Web Sites, Books, and More
•bullying.org Founded by father and teacher Bill Belsey in response to the school shootings in Littleton, Colorado, and Taber, Alberta, this is the leading site on the internet for bullying information. It has three goals: to help people understand that they are not alone, that being bullied is not the victims’ fault, and that there are many successful strategies for dealing with bullies.
•easingtheteasing.com The works of certified social worker and author Judy Freedman are featured on this site, which also gives access to all her programs, information, and workshops.
•education.com This Web site includes a special edition devoted to bullying and cyber bullying. It includes numerous articles on bullying of both younger and older kids, the different types of bullying, and bullying in many different situations.
•stopbullyingnow.org This U.S. Department Health and Human Services site is designed to attract kids of all ages. Users can download anti-bullying podcasts, cartoons about bullying, and a Stop Bullying Now mobile ring tone.
•stopcyberbullying.org New technologies create new ways for kids to bully. Get strategies for prevention, tips, and information about online bullying.
•nasponline.org Find information about “CyberSmart! Cyber Bullying Awareness Curriculum,” a free program for educators. This program facilitates the prevention of cyber bullying and helps provide outreach to families and communities.
Books on Bullying
•Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis This book is designed for educators and parents to help create a safe and inclusive environment at school.
•The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric This book for young kids was inspired by Couric’s childhood memories and by the Columbine school shootings. Through this story, Couric challenges parents to stop excusing mean-spirited behavior and instead teach children to be kind and tolerant.
Bullying Information Resource List for GirlsWeb Sites, Books, and Seminars
Bullying Web Sites•bullying.org Founded by father and teacher Bill Belsey in response to school shootings in Littleton, Colorado, and Taber, Alberta, this is the leading site on the internet for bullying information. It has three goals: to help people understand that they are not alone, that being bullied is not the victim's fault, and that there are successful strategies for dealing with bullies.
•easingtheteasing.com The works of certified social worker and author Judy Freedman are featured on this site, which also gives access to all of her programs, information, and workshops.
•education.com This Web site includes a special edition devoted to bullying and cyber bullying. It includes numerous articles on bullying concerning both younger and older kids, the different types of bullying, and bullying in many different situations.
•stopbullyingnow.org This U.S. Department Health and Human Services site is designed to attract kids of all ages. Users can download anti-bullying podcasts, cartoons about bullying, and a Stop Bullying Now mobile ring tone.
•stopcyberbullying.org New technologies create new ways to bully. Get strategies for prevention, tips, and information about online bullying.
•nasponline.org Find information about “CyberSmart! Cyberbullying Awareness Curriculum,” a free program for educators. This program facilitates the prevention of cyber bullying and helps provide outreach to families and communities.
Books on Bullying
•Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis This book is designed for educators and parents to help create a safe and inclusive environment at school.
•The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric This book for young kids was inspired by Couric’s childhood memories and by the Columbine shootings. Through this story about tolerance, Couric challenges parents to stop excusing mean-spirited behavior and instead teach children to be kind and tolerant.
•Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman A must-read for every parent of a teenage daughter. It will help you understand girls and friendships, popularity, cliques, self-esteem, and a variety of other topics.
•Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons Read this book to find out more about social issues that girls deal with today such as exclusion, popularity, cliques, bullying, and jealousy.
Remember you are not alone. There is help out there
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4Q-hIX2CWU
To stop bullying - be it verbal, written, or cyber bullying - it can be helpful to tell someone that you are being bullied. This may seem scary at first, however, telling someone can lighten your load and help you to work out how to solve the problem and stop being bullied.
Talking to someone is particularly important if you feel unsafe or frightened, or if you don't have many friends. Asking for help or talking to someone about the bullying is not being weak or 'giving in'. In fact it takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help.
There are many people who might be able to help, including friends, older brothers and sisters, teachers, family, counsellors or parents.
Some tips for getting help
It might be easier if you talk to someone you know well and trust; they will give you much needed support and will often have suggestions you hadn't considered for helping with the situation.
You might feel more comfortable taking a friend with you. If you feel you might get too nervous to speak, write down what you'd like to say on paper or in an email.
If you don't feel as if you are believed or taken seriously about the bullying, or if no action is taken, it doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid or the bullying should continue. It's important you tell someone else and continue to do so until you are helped.
Being bullied can be upsetting and stressful and can affect a range of different areas of your life, including self-esteem, relationships, work or study.
How to help to work it out yourself - some tips
Depending on how bad the bullying is (and as long as you aren't feeling unsafe, frightened or physically threatened), you might decide to try and work it out yourself first. Try and remember that no matter how hard you try, the bully might not be willing to change their behaviour. This is when talking to someone else can be really helpful.
The following tips might be particularly helpful for verbal bullying:
When possible, ignore them (including mobile phone or email bullying)
Ignoring the bully may be helpful, particularly for one-off cases. Bullies are looking for a reaction from you and often lose interest if they aren't given the satisfaction of getting one.
Suggestions for ignoring the bully include:
Walk away when the bully approaches you. Try and imagine it's a friend you're walking away from - this can be a way of making sure your body language (which you're usually unaware of) doesn't give away a sense of fear.
It might help to concentrate on thinking about something else (Eg - Like what you'll do next weekend, counting to 100, or planning your homework)
Have a saying or a statement that you can repeat in your head when the bully approaches you to block out a sense of fear.
Building a wall around you
It may be helpful to build an invisible wall around you by visualising it in your mind. Whe the wall is up - imagine that any verbal abuse then just bounces off the wall.
Use visualisation
Bullies can be pretty scary. Picturing them looking silly may help to make them less problematic for you. For example, picture the bully's head shrinking and their voice coming out all tiny and squeaky.
They are human - don't give them superpowers
All bullies are human - they all get up in the morning, eat breakfast, brush their teeth and do other normal things. They have fights with their parents, feel insecure, feel scared, feel worried, and aren't perfect. They may present themselves to the world as having no worries and can act really confident - but don't be fooled. They aren't superhuman - they may be just better at hiding what's really going on inside. In fact - often bullies act the way they do to make themselves feel better. They put other people down to make themselves feel more powerful.
Stay positive
It can be hard to remember all your good points when someone is doing their best to be negative. However, try to think of all the things you do well and that you are a valuable person. Thinking of how bad the bully must be feeling may also help you to stay positive.
Hang around other people
You may be safer if you stay in groups. If you are alone, try to identify people who may offer you safety.
Be confident
Bullies usually pick on people that they think are weaker than they are, so it may help if you stand up to them.
Some suggestions are:
telling them to leave you alone may get a bully off your back
turning around and being nice to them may throw them right off
using humour may also throw the bully off track
use positive self-talk - saying to yourself something like 'I know I am better than that, I'm not like that, I don't have to pick on other people to know that I am good'
remember that your friends accept you for who you are.
Keep out of their way
It might be possible for you to avoid the bully. This can mean travelling a different way to school, or avoiding the places that they hang out. This is not giving in to bullying, but about looking after yourself and making sure you are happier and more comfortable.
Your Rights
It might be helpful to remember that everyone has the right to live, work, study and play in an environment free from bullying, harassment, discrimination and violence. No one deserves or asks to be bullied.
Bullying Information Resource List for Boys
Web Sites, Books, and More
•bullying.org Founded by father and teacher Bill Belsey in response to the school shootings in Littleton, Colorado, and Taber, Alberta, this is the leading site on the internet for bullying information. It has three goals: to help people understand that they are not alone, that being bullied is not the victims’ fault, and that there are many successful strategies for dealing with bullies.
•easingtheteasing.com The works of certified social worker and author Judy Freedman are featured on this site, which also gives access to all her programs, information, and workshops.
•education.com This Web site includes a special edition devoted to bullying and cyber bullying. It includes numerous articles on bullying of both younger and older kids, the different types of bullying, and bullying in many different situations.
•stopbullyingnow.org This U.S. Department Health and Human Services site is designed to attract kids of all ages. Users can download anti-bullying podcasts, cartoons about bullying, and a Stop Bullying Now mobile ring tone.
•stopcyberbullying.org New technologies create new ways for kids to bully. Get strategies for prevention, tips, and information about online bullying.
•nasponline.org Find information about “CyberSmart! Cyber Bullying Awareness Curriculum,” a free program for educators. This program facilitates the prevention of cyber bullying and helps provide outreach to families and communities.
Books on Bullying
•Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis This book is designed for educators and parents to help create a safe and inclusive environment at school.
•The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric This book for young kids was inspired by Couric’s childhood memories and by the Columbine school shootings. Through this story, Couric challenges parents to stop excusing mean-spirited behavior and instead teach children to be kind and tolerant.
Bullying Information Resource List for GirlsWeb Sites, Books, and Seminars
Bullying Web Sites•bullying.org Founded by father and teacher Bill Belsey in response to school shootings in Littleton, Colorado, and Taber, Alberta, this is the leading site on the internet for bullying information. It has three goals: to help people understand that they are not alone, that being bullied is not the victim's fault, and that there are successful strategies for dealing with bullies.
•easingtheteasing.com The works of certified social worker and author Judy Freedman are featured on this site, which also gives access to all of her programs, information, and workshops.
•education.com This Web site includes a special edition devoted to bullying and cyber bullying. It includes numerous articles on bullying concerning both younger and older kids, the different types of bullying, and bullying in many different situations.
•stopbullyingnow.org This U.S. Department Health and Human Services site is designed to attract kids of all ages. Users can download anti-bullying podcasts, cartoons about bullying, and a Stop Bullying Now mobile ring tone.
•stopcyberbullying.org New technologies create new ways to bully. Get strategies for prevention, tips, and information about online bullying.
•nasponline.org Find information about “CyberSmart! Cyberbullying Awareness Curriculum,” a free program for educators. This program facilitates the prevention of cyber bullying and helps provide outreach to families and communities.
Books on Bullying
•Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis This book is designed for educators and parents to help create a safe and inclusive environment at school.
•The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric This book for young kids was inspired by Couric’s childhood memories and by the Columbine shootings. Through this story about tolerance, Couric challenges parents to stop excusing mean-spirited behavior and instead teach children to be kind and tolerant.
•Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman A must-read for every parent of a teenage daughter. It will help you understand girls and friendships, popularity, cliques, self-esteem, and a variety of other topics.
•Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons Read this book to find out more about social issues that girls deal with today such as exclusion, popularity, cliques, bullying, and jealousy.
Remember you are not alone. There is help out there
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4Q-hIX2CWU