Scared of the come down.

[Fiction]

I'm happy for once :) Doesn't happen often. When i'm happy i still have this horrible feeling inside me. I'm scared of the come down. I know i will feel worse than ever. I know i'm going to want to destroy myself, harm myself anyway i can and i know i will. I can never be truly happy anymore. Thats all i want. A day truly happy but i have a fear. I hate my life.

[Malcolm Tucker]

:hug:

First, I know exactly how you feel. And I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I truly am. It's something no one should have to go through. Maybe for now you should just take pleasure in being happy, and deal with the other stuff later. Enjoy it while you can, and you're not gonna do that by being scared of the later :( When, or if, you do get upset again then you can take satisfaction in the fact that you can be happy

[Aspiringanonymous]

Everything is possible; the most important thing is to remain open to opportunities for change. For now, yes, all you can do is make the most of the experience at hand - even if it seems to be inherently flawed.

Never say never. May you find a better state of mind soon.

[Art_dude]

I completely understand what you're feeling. When I was in my dark depression and I had this random occurrence of happiness for a couple days (I called them repreives or 'highs') but I kept freaking out when I'd come crashing back down to reality. The teen in me wants to say, stop worrying, live it up and if and when the depression comes back, cross that road when you get there. But the Buddhist in me wants to suggest staying in the limbo state.

Not that I'm trying to proselytize Buddhism on you, but their view on happiness is much different than the Western conceptualizations. These brief 'highs' of happiness can be hormones, a random blip, or a series of pleasant things happenning to you. It's not happiness itself because happiness isn't an external object. Try not to think of if and when you 'crash down' again, but I wouldn't suggest blindly accepting this new feeling and jumping into it. If you do that, when you fall back down it's going to hit you tenfold harder. An objective meditation of sitting down with yourself and observing your emotions as emotions and not states of mind can help clarify things significantly. It's almost like having an innocent dialogue with your subconcious mind. Prodding it gently with a stick, with an open mind and curiosity. Don't judge before hand with preconceived notions. I hope this helps. (((HUGS))) PM anytime you need to talk. Namaste

[Fiction]

Alex. you made me realise what the feeling i feel is! It's something i didn't understand before. As you said, hapiness isn't something external. I think a part of it is but real, true hapiness comes from inside. So i can externally feel happy but deep inside i'm not. Thankyou so much :)

[Art_dude]

No problem! I'm so glad that I was able to help. Once again, if you ever need to talk, PM me :)

[Asylum]

i know how you feel, and i'm truely sorry you feel that way, like krezylen said " Everything is possible; the most important thing is to remain open to opportunities for change. For now, yes, all you can do is make the most of the experience at hand - even if it seems to be inherently flawed.

Never say never. May you find a better state of mind soon. "

you can always chnge. so there is hope. if you see a counsler or psycologisti i'd tel them aout this. you can alway PM me if you feel like SIing. hope ou feel better

[Kahn]

I know I may be late..

But when your happy take advantage of it. Do things you don't normally do, say hi and talk with people you don't normally talk to. It will make you seem like a brighter person to say the least, and you will also feel good about doing things.

I have been in your position many times before, trust me. When I am happy I feel the need to do everything at once, which in fact is quite comical.

I hope you enjoy your happiness and I hope it lasts longer than you expect.

~Adam